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Comment by Baba O' Riley on February 19, 2013 at 5:03pm

also, do you mean god-like(heavenly) poetry or good poetry?

Comment by Baba O' Riley on February 19, 2013 at 5:02pm

thanks :)
you seem like a cool and smart dude,its kinda hard being a guy as one of the unknowns on spill , i know this is unrelated , but do you like The Who ? 

Comment by Nobody on February 19, 2013 at 4:54pm

Oh god poetry...I would love to help you, but I am definitely not the guy you should be asking =/ I'm not smart enough for these things! I'm so sorry.

Comment by Baba O' Riley on February 19, 2013 at 4:44pm

sorry , just a thing i had on my word document for what most likely are ideas for scenes :(
Do you like the idea ? What might be needing improving in your opinion ?

Comment by Nobody on February 19, 2013 at 4:42pm

Is that meant to be only part 2? Because it sounds interesting, but it's also slightly confusing.

Comment by Baba O' Riley on February 19, 2013 at 4:41pm

can i ask ? what you think so far of this story ? its early days for this idea . Might make it into a play that i have to do for drama exams 

And do you think using my own poems based on this idea will be good for the play ?

Btw , sorry for the "2." in the plot :(

I had a valentine of the earth and man
the worlds garden hugged me
He said his origins and plans
With waves and people creating the new sea

I saw the arts and waivers
the coulors I saw were sainted
We all saw our savoiur
Not tainted , and we painted

As discaples men took me to the new prophet
The culture is cheering and wanting the hearing
There was no paper profit
And all the boys and girls tearing

Canvas in one place, circles of arts created
It was like the world wa being born once more
The students and and teachers mated
The life we used to had was before

It was changing time
Music was in the air
A mutant cupid in the air with bread ,fish and wine
For me, the member of the hour and the rest are a burning star

I had a valentine of the earth and man
the leader touched me by the head
He hugged me as I showed tears
We faded to his new plan, he said
“Relax, I will solve all fears”

I had a valentine with destiny
the star that shines twice as bright
All of us might not last long
We were the futures leading light
We sang the collective song

The crowd cheered as we faded
All knowledge was traded with no price
No word can explain
But with no pain, I have sprtual advance and advice
food and wine for my sadly small brain

Comment by Baba O' Riley on February 19, 2013 at 4:33pm

the plot of mine is so far 

The story begins when a family in New England who grow “ dead potatoes”.In the farmhouse, they experience a portable version of the nutshell for the government for the dead potatoes like shelter, weapons, transportation if necessary with it even smaller version of the NutShell

2. Though the whole family in one night see a visionary dream of a mass gathering, with people painting drawing and gong in tents just Repeating in chaos. The family talk about their visions, they don't understand what it meant , but Mary, the only daughter. Experiences the visions with sound and understand what it means. But the rest of the family doesn’t . She explains that she is leaving the home because of her visions and wants to be at the mass gathering in New York. This is because she family member who believes it's real. They have a argument about reality and discuss their plans with her for the future to help the family with living. but she leaves home slamming the door .

She travels in a Caravan though New England to New York, though the trip, she experience what the real America has been left as (she sees such thing as bombs, grey people, brown mud and destroyed buildings). She finally gets to New York but it is destroyed and is the same as the wasteland .the buildings are crumbling and everything is grey. But when all hope is lost, she hears noise, the sound of music, but this is the world with no music, she cant understand, but she follows the trail that has been painted white. She finally gets to the mass gathering in renamed “Grand central park”. She looks around the park at the music , people, sculptures and paintings but most importantly, she finally gets to see primary colours and secondary colours.

One of the gathers says to her that she has the see the new messiah, the gather says to Mary that “he” is going to do his magic. As she gets to the main stage, the music stops at the second that Christopher come on to stage speaks to his followers that he is very happy a speech abut the origins of himself and how he became the messiah. After the speech. Mary joins the line/crowd being shown upon him by his 11 disciples where he sees the possible colours they are, and says what their future by saying another colour. The messiah does a 2nd baptises one of the crowd on the main stage faint after this an disappears into thin air .Mary is scared of what this place is regrets what she has done. As she goes on stage to be baptised .Christopher senses how scared Mary is but relax her by holding her and hugging her as she cries .As the crowd cheers ,Christopher and Mary faint and disappears in front of the stage.

After they disappear , they go into another version of the nutshell , but instead has lots of colours and is run by the people, but Christopher is the host , and created certain people into certain areas. Depending on their emotions, the mental database of the certain emotions creates their own personnel areas to live their live and do what they want which cant be done in the real world. It forms of paradise and the information from the population is creates each persons sound/voice, sculpture and painting which goes into their own personal areas.This then makes it look better on their land and creates a message abut themselves and can shown. When it is shown, it can be commented on and celebrated with recognition from others.

This make anyone a superstar and mega-star at the same time who stands from the crowd and lasts for a short amount of time, with this huge stars appearing every second, this causes a bright white light and will in its short time burn away the NutShell and live on earth like in their simulation which will end the world but on a high note.When the gathers, Mary and Christopher come back from their “garden of Eden” like mind -set. The gathering spirals out of control to the music and the arts, they jump up and down.

Comment by Nobody on February 19, 2013 at 4:30pm

Oh...I don't think I'm creative enough to come up with anything new. Sorry. If you have something, please go ahead.

Comment by Baba O' Riley on February 19, 2013 at 4:27pm

its cool , i agree with you. What would you write as a episode of Black Mirror ?

Comment by Nobody on February 19, 2013 at 4:24pm

Sorry, when I wrote my last comment I hadn't seen yours. I don't think I can get that in my country, I live in Argentina =). My favorites are the last two. That's not to say I don't like the rest, the pig one is great, horrible and highly disturbing, but great. 

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