If it's crap ... We'll tell you
This is strictly MY OPINION, and if you're wondering why some other obviously shitty movies,like Battleship and Rock of Ages aren't here it's because I probably didn't get a chance to see them
IN ORDER FROM BAD TO FUCKING AWFUL
10. Total Recall -
This movie had its issues, as i felt that it just struggled to keep my attention. Not comparing it to the original at all, the movie didn't really feel like Total Recall, and felt more like a bad Bladerunner clone. The CG was well done, but Collin Ferrel's performance and the convoluted story just made this move a huge let down. The reason why it isn't further down on the list is because the movie has SOME redeeming values to it, such as the action.
Spill Rating: LOW RENTAL
9. Wrath of the Titans -
After having seen the Clash of the Titans 09 remake, i had no expectations for this movie. Glad that i didn't because all I got in the end from this movie was a bland story, characters that i didn't give a shit about, and bad 3D effects. Like Total Recall, this movie did have some good special effects, but overall they weren't enough to make this movie worthwhile
Spill Rating: LOW LOW RENTAL
8. Chernobyl Diaries -
Going into this movie, i was expecting a found footage film of some sort, due to the advertising campaign of the movie, but it just turned out to be a cheap ass movie with found footage elements in it. The acting was terrible, the characters were BEYOND FUCKING STUPID, using NO intuition or common sense WHATSOEVER, and bad special effects, considering the director is, get this, A VISUAL EFFECTS GUY. The movie NEVER showed any monsters at all, and all was left to the imagination with a cop out ending.
Spill Rating: Some ol' Bullshit
7. Resident Evil: Retribution -
This movie just downright disappointed me. The story was garbage, but what do you expect, the action scenes were uninteresting and the characters just lost my attention, never did I really care what happened to them. The only good thing about this movie was being able to spot all of the characters from the games and say "Oh look it's (insert Resident evil Character here)! This movie was just plain bad
Spill Rating: Some ol' Bullshit
6. Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie -
Alright, here we're going deep into the shit now. This movie felt just like an extra long episode of the Tim and Eric show, which i already hate because their style of "humor" doesn't really appeal to me. Not only is the movie not funny and plain awful, the guests, such as Zack Galifanackas or however the fuck you spell it are embarrassing to see in here. Avoid this one at all costs.
Spill Rating: LOW Some ol' Bullshit
5. The Devil Inside -
Ahhh this piece of shit. You might not even remember this movie considering it came out in the very beginning of 2012, but wow was it shit. Not only following your standard Found Footage movie techniques, the movie does little to get your attention. This movie was absolute shit, and wasn't even scary. Although this isn't the worst found footage film of 2012, it's still pretty damn awful
Spill Rating: LOW Some ol' Bullshit
4. Paranormal Activity 4 -
Speaking of found footage, look at this. Paranormal 3 was actually a good haunted house film, with consistent scares, so i was somewhat anticipating this movie. When the negative reviews started to flow in, i was sure this was going to be shit, and were they right. There is NOTHING that happens in this movie, NOTHING until the last 10 minutes or so, and still, you're left on another typical Found Footage ending. The movie had little scares, unless cats jumping out of nowhere do, and was totally not worth seeing whatsoever. The worst of the series
Spill Rating: FUCK YOU
3. That's My Boy -
You can't have a worst of list without a Happy Madison Productions film can you now? Between the 2 released this year, this is the only one i saw, thank god. The plot of this movie is so disgusting and wouldn't be surprised if you found it too offensive, but the humor is just a bunch of dick and fart jokes, but the twist where Andy Sandberg's wife is fucking her brother (YEAH THAT'S THE TWIST) is just disgusting and made me want to leave, but no i finished this fucking piece of shit. Although i originally gave this movie a low rental, having time to think about it, i can see how fucking terrible this piece of shit was.
Spill Rating: FUCK YOU!!!!
2. Silent Hill: Revelation 3D -
Wow, went to go this disaster piece for Halloween thinking it'd be fun, but was i DEAD wrong. Having played Silent Hill 1-3, I actually SOMEWHAT could keep up with the plot, SOMEWHAT. If you're not a fan of the series, don't even bother trying to unravel this convoluted plot. With all the characters and names and mythology they're trying to cram from the Silent Hill Universe into 1 1/2 Hours, the story just becomes this mess that you can't comprehend at all. It follows Cheryl from Silent Hill 1, who is now Heather, some characters from Silent Hill 3 are present such as Claudia Wolfe and Vincent, but that's where the similarities end from the game. The ending just says FUCK THIS and turns into Silent Hill Mortal Kombat with Pyramid Head versus some monster bitch i don't even remember. This movie is exactly what a video game movie SHOULDN'T be, and i hope if we see another Silent Hill Movie, that it's done right
Spill Rating: FUCKKK YOUU!!!!!
Now the #1 Worst Film of 2012 is!!!!!!!!
1. HOSTEL 3 !!!!
Now i know, you're asking yourself, they made a Hostel 3? And now you're also asking, when did this come out? Hostel 3 was released on Video on Demand on Dec 27th 2011 in the US, and Jan 5th 2012 in Canada, so I'll count it for 2012. This movie made me SO fucking angry after i saw it, not because i paid for it, but because i wasted my time on it. 80 minutes of pure shit, for your viewing. The acting is fucking horrible, and the pacing is ATROCIOUS!! I don't think anything happened until 45 minutes in, and boy there is no character development or story development in those 45 minutes. In the other hostel movies(which i also am not a fan of) it was more believable that something like what happened would happen due to the setting, but if you're going out to a brothel in a warehouse in the middle of fuckin' nowhere, it's YOUR fault. This movie was terrible, the kills weren't even interesting. Fuck you Eli Roth for making the series, allowing it to reach number 3, and fuck Scott Speigel for making this piece of shit. I saw this on Netflix streaming and if you dare, it's still there, but I'd rather be hunted than to be forced to watch this piece of shit ever again
Spill Rating: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKYOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!