"Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen" Review

The Fallen has risen again, seeking revenge for... What was it again? Yes, the story is just that confusing. Why? Because Michael Bay spent absolutely no time trying to develop it smoothly, and put too much work into creating overwhelming fight sequences. This is what I understood from the story: Sam Whitwickey (sp?) is headed for college, after sequences of crude jokes all involving humping dogs and crazy parents. Once he gets there he begins to suffer from strange convulsions that allow him to see alien symbols that will almost play no part in the rest of the film. After that, every living Decepticon is out to (quite literally) take what's in his mind. After running away for his life with Megan Fox, and his useless college friend, you're in for two hours of dizzying special effects. It's safe to say that no one in this movie does much for the plot itself, except slow it down more, and add tedious subplots, such as how Megan Fox's character naggs Shia LaBeouf's character to say "I Love You" throughout the film. Later we find out that it takes millions of dollars worth of special effects and a near death experience to finally let the words out. The only thing truly special about this movie, is the quality of the special effects. They're so well done, that I feel sorry for all the animators who spent months working as hard as they could to ultimately form such an awful product. There really is no reason to see this movie, unless you need something to keep kids quiet with, and even then, this movie contains such crude humor and coarse language that it's hard to comprehend the true genre that this movie is. To sum it up, Transformers is simply eye-candy, with few, or no truly excellent moments, and overall a film to forget after the year is over.