If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Ah, anime. Though there are many good ones, a lot of the ones I've encountered tend to suck. Sometimes, it’s the shitty plot and sometimes it the shitty art.
However, most of the time, it’s the characters that put me off. Most of the time, it’s the cliché characters that pop up the most. You know, like the awkward teenage chosen warrior of bullshit prophecy with a sword the size of a car and the strength of ten gorillas. But the ones that annoy me the most art the fucking whiners. The characters that take a good fifteen minutes of the show to bitch and moan about things I couldn't possibly give a shit about. Here are some of the bitchers that just got under my skin the most.
5. Light Yagami (Death Note)
Light Yagami. An incredibly smart, popular, and athletic young man. One day, he finds the notebook of a shinigami(grim reaper) with the power to kill anyone. All you have to do is write their name down. After having all of the rules of the notebook explained by the shinigami Ryuk, Light, of course, logically comes to the conclusion that he should be a god and kill those he finds unjust. That wasn't a plan he made after something tragic happened. Being god was plan A. He uses the death note once and decides he has the right to judge all of humanity. He then spends the majority of the anime justifying all kinds of horrible acts and manipulates all that were stupid enough to follow him. He is, by far, one of the biggest anime assholes I've ever seen.
So he's an asshole. Big deal. Doesn't make him a whiny character, right? Well, I may have cheated with this one. *SPOILERS AHEAD* I'll try to use as little spoilers as possible. By the end of the anime, I wanted Light dead. I wanted him embarrassed. I wanted to see him cry. Welp, Death Note did not disappoint. When light finally gets caught, he tries to write down the names of the cops in front of him. Forgetting that they are packing, Light then proceeds to get capped.
When he realizes that he's losing, he shows his true self. Think of a child bitching and moaning because he didn't get his way. Light makes the child look dignified.
This is by far the best scene in the anime. There was nothing better than seeing this holier-than-thou shit stain get knocked off his high horse. Though he does whine a bit during the actually show, he saved most of his bitching for the ending, which is why he's so low on the list. Not like the next one. WARNING: I'm about to piss off some fan girls.
4. Inuyasha (...Inuyasha)
Ok, seriously. This anime is fucking annoying. The story is a giant mess, the art isn't that great, and ALMOST EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER SUCKS. I know this anime is aimed more towards otaku fan girls, but come on. If this is the best they got for you, fan girls, I'd be insulted if I were you. When an anime is composed of pure filler and only goes to the actual plot once every 30 episodes, there is something wrong. Even though the show is just filled to the brim with whinny annoyances, the biggest one to me is the title character, Inuyasha.
Inuyasha (Or InuYasha if I gave a fuck) is half-human, half-dog demon. Apparently that's not a good thing, so he faced a lot of discrimination. It didn't help that his dad, InuTaisho, was the resident badass of feudal Japan. Oh, by the way, the story takes place in feudal Japan. Apparently, history books forgot to tell us about all the fucking demons. Anyway, Inuyasha discovers the existence of a magical McGuffin, the Shikon Jewel, which is originally in the possession of his love interest, Kikyo. Its powers, as shown by the anime, are completely fucking random, but apparently has the ability to turn Inuyasha into a full demon. To shorten this up a bit more, the thing breaks into a bunch of pieces and it’s up to Inuyasha and his gang of angst to find them.
Or at least that what the plot is supposed to be. If you watched the anime, however, you'll realize that the real plot is Inuyasha bitching about whether or not he loves his zombie girlfriend, Kikyo, or her reincarnated, fifteen year old self, Kagome(Its one of those animes). Inuyasha, by the way, not counting his magical fifty year nap (Just go with it), is 150 years old. Now before the fan girls attack, I know because he's half-demon, he has the appearance of a seventeen year old. That doesn't make it any better. Every goddamn episode is like this:
Inuyasha: "*Brooding tone* Kikyo..."
Kikyo: "I hate you and you will always be in my heart."
Kagome: "*Pouty* Inuyasha!!!!"
When he isn't bicthing about zombie girlfriend Kikyo, he's bitching about underaged girlfriend Kagome. When isn't bitching about Kagome, he's bitching about Kikyo. Oh, but it doesn't stop there. When he isn't bitching about his creepy as fuck love triangle, he's bitching about his dead mom, which of course leads to him bitching about his dad, who, by the way, died protecting him and left him his giant fucking sword that kills everything. A sword, by the way, Inuyasha ends up breaking. Does he care that he broke his dad's all powerful sword? Nope. He's just mad that he can't kill shit anymore. The only one who does care is Inuyasha's half-brother, Sesshomaru. This leads to Inuyasha bitching about how much of a meanie his brother is. His brother, by the way, is a full demon. So whenever they fight, Inuyasha then needs to bitch about how he's a weak half-demon, which leads to him bitching about the Shikon Jewel, which of course reminds him of Kikyo. He's actual stuck in an endless cycle of bitching.
3. Wrath (Full Metal Alchemist)
Seriously. Thank god for Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood. It's not only a very good anime, but also on of my favorites. Not to say that the original Full Metal Alchemist was bad. It just had A LOT of issues that Brotherhood fixed. One of those problems that they were smart enough to get rid of was the homunculus Wrath
A homunculus is made when you try to resurrect a human with alchemy, which is a big no-no. This particular science fuck up was made when the main character Edward Elric's sensei tries to resurrect her dead baby.
When he is first introduced in the show, he starts crying. Then he cries some more. Then a little more. You could replace his dialogue with the sound of a crying baby and there would be no difference. Then he becomes evil. He still cries, but now he has a "motive". He basically wants everything that belongs to the main character. God, even his goals are even the goals of a spoiled brat. He spends the bulk of his time as a villain dicking with Edward and...Nothing else really. He doesn't even contribute anything worthwhile to the main villain. He just trolls Edward and cries. Eventually, due to the fact that Ed and his brother Al tried resurrecting their dead mom, she comes back as the homunculus Sloth. All in all, as a villain, she was kind of a waste. But to Wrath, she was a mom. He now cries even more and just to add to his bitch points, he cries right into the arms of his new mommy. He's annoying as balls and I'm glad he's dead.
2. Sasuke Uchiha (Naruto)
If you couldn't tell by the first picture of this note, I'm not a big fan of Naruto. I still read the manga, not because I like it, but because I've made it this far and goddamn it, I'm going to finish it.
The show has especially sucked in its newer episodes, but there is one character that has never been good. One character that had always sucked. One character who even a lot of the fan girls hate. And surprisingly enough, it isn't Naruto. Its Naruto's emo best "friend", Sasuke Uchiha
EVERY SINGLE line of dialogue from Sasuke is emo. All of it. When he cuts himself, all that comes out is black ink that he uses for his gay poetry. His hair even looks like a crow landed on his head and just died from all his angst. What's worse is that he mainly only complains about one thing. You'd think that would make it a little less annoying, but no. Sasuke drives that shit home. Of all the things he loves to brood about, the biggest one is his brother, Itachi Uchiha
See, Itachi killed his entire family. An entire family of elite ninjas. By himself, by the way, so either Itachi was badass, or the Uchiha's actually suck. Anyway, when it came time to kill Sasuke, Itachi let him live, telling him to get strong and find him if he wanted revenge. Sasuke the decided to dedicate the rest of his life to revenge. This led to him becoming the emoest ninja in the world. Which of course the girl ninjas of his class loved. Because whiny emo assholes are all the rage apparently. *SPOILER ALERT* After betraying his entire village, nearly killing his best friend, and allying himself with a worldwide pedophile terrorist ninja, he finally reaches Itachi a kills him. Afterwards, he finds out that Itachi was force to kill their clan and loved Sasuke. So what does Sasuke do now? Why he decides to go out and destroy his village for letting this happen and get revenge for his brother. He then allies himself with a terrorist cell more dangerous that the last one he was just in. Through it all, he just continues to become more and more of an emo asshole.
The only way to calm this prick down was to have a giant, horribly written, shitty ninja war break out. During this war, a fuckload of dead ninjas are brought back from the dead, one of course, being Itachi. After talking, Sasuke, so far, seems to be a getting less emo.
*NOTE* Look, you all know who get number 1. It’s not going to surprise you. I tried finding someone else, but I couldn't. The guy is the king of whiny bitches. He's so whiny, that he gets number 1. on this list even though I disqualified him for being too emo.
1. Shinji Ikari ( Neon Genesis Evangelion)
End of note. Seriously, do I need to clarify this? There is no need to explain this choice. Shinji is just it. He's the fricking god of emos. King of whiners. Master of angst. No matter the situation, he WILL bitch. He can't help it. It’s just who he is. It doesn't matter what’s happening around him. People could be dying all around him; he will still sit down and cry. Hell, a lot of the time, he doesn't even cry. He just sits there. Emotionless.
In the first episode, it basically takes the whole episode to convince him to pilot a giant robot and save his city. Really? What teenage boy bitches about that? I would've been in that thing before they even told me about the monsters I would have to fight.
It must've been REALLY depressing for the scientist knowing that this whiny piss ant was your last hope.
It must've been REALLY depressing for the scientist knowing that this whiny piss ant was your last hope.