If it's crap ... We'll tell you
25. The Blair Witch Project
There are a few good things about this movie. The idea is really good, there are some parts that are scary and last the ending was really creepy. The main draw back from this movie I have is the pacing and the acting. This movie is really boring and makes Death Proof look like Commando pacing that's how boring this movie can get, sure its trying to build suspense, but there is more to building suspense then slowly pacing like in the movie Inglourious Basterds, there were parts were the pacing was slow, but they backed it up with good writing and really good acting and this does not happen in Blair Witch. The writing is really not that great and it does not really help that the acting is not good either the worst performance being Heather Donahue who was so bad she won worst actress that year. All and all it could have been a good movie if it was cut down in time, the writing was better and the acting was better, but thats not the case.
2007 was the year of the slasher tribute movie were we got three movie with Behind the Mask, The Tripper ( I will get to that later) and Hatchet. The best in my opinion is the movie Behind the Mask were they presented a new viewed on slasher movies were the killer planes everything like the jump scares, were the victims will be, the order of there death and more. It was not just a bland generic slasher movie, brought something new to the table, unlike Hatchet. This is the type of tribute movie I hate were its the same damn thing that offers nothing new at all. Its the same disfigured killer, the same dumb twenty somethings that get killed off and the same jump scares from all the other slasher movies. If your going to do a slasher tribute movie do something different and not the same crap we have scene before.
23. Fade To Black
This is no real good quality about this movie, its just a bad movie. Its a very bad revenge movie with one of the most unlikable lead characters I have ever watched in a movie. The character of Eric Binford is a creepy, crazy and unlikable human that stalks this Merlin Monro impersonator through the hole movie. Its not like a good revenge horror movie Carrie were she is a nice girl that's likable and you feel sorry for when bad things happen to here, in this the guy was going to be a killer no matter what. There are other problems like the poor pacing and the stupid kills like the part were Eric dresses as a Mummy and scares a person to death. If this movie had a likable lead character or had the point of view from another person. this could have been one of the best horror movies ever made, but thats not the case.
22. The Fly II
The first Fly is one of my favorite horror movies of all time, but this sequel does everything wrong that the first one did right. The one thing the sequel seems to care about was the gore by making it more crazy and over the top were in the first movie cared about more then that like the characters, the writing and last the drama. Instead of this the movie has some poor acting were all the characters just phone it in and speaking of the characters they do really stupid things that normal people wold not do.
21. Freddy vs Jason
I count this as a sequel to both Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th and boy is it bad. It has most of the problems most slasher movies have like bad/unlikable characters and bad writing. The biggest problem I have with this movie is the idea of having Freddy and Jason fight because the both can't die. With something like Alien vs Predator ( a really bad movie) the Predator and Alien are tuff, but they can die so there is going to be a winner. With Freddy and Jason they can't die ever because one is a zombie and one is a burned dude that can't die even if he is killed out side the dream world. I can see something like Ash vs Jason or Ash vs Freddy, but this just does not work.
20. The Hills Have Eyes 2
Now its time to dig into the worst of the worst. This movie has all the problems most horror movies of this type would have. First it has really bad acting with all the actors sounding like robots the hole movie. It has piss poor writing with lines sounding like a four grader wrote them. The characters do really stupid things like one guy has a hand made explosive and do not throw it and blows himself up. Last the bad guys are just lame with all of them having weird powers like some of them have camo and can blend into the surroundings. Its just a really bad movie that is only good if your drunk as hell.
19. Cabin Fever
This will be the first time we discuss an Eli Roth Movie, but it wont be the last. This movie has some of the worst characters I have ever seen in a horror movie. They are all unlikable with all of them being as annoying as possible like for example the cop in the movie were all he talks about is how he likes to party. There also do really stupid things like lighting a guy one fire that has the sickness in the movie instead of calling 911 ore helping him. It has some bad writing as well with the worst writing coming from the pancakes kid who out of nowhere starts to go after this guy and starts to do kung fu flips will shouting pancakes. All and all this is the crowning gem in how stupid of a person Eli Roth is and his stupidity will show in his later movies.
18. Friday the 13th Part 5
The worst of the sequels to this series (even worse the part 8 and 9). It has most of the problems the other films have like bad characters and bad writing. The main problem in this movie is that it does not have Jason in it. It has some guy that you see in the beginning of the movie that's the killer and the only reason he is the killer is because his son dies in the beginning. Its like watching Star Trek 2 and there is no original cast, just a group of people you don't know. In fact this movie gave me the same feeling Halloween 3 gave me, speaking of Halloween 3.
17. Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
Not as bad as later sequels, but its still bad. First big problem I have is that there is no Michael Myers, but people say that if you take that away its still a creepy movie, I really disagree with that its still a bad movie with or without Michael Myers. The characters were ok and the writing is o, but the pacing of the movie is what brings this movie down because the movie is really boring. Also I felt that the kills in the movie were kind of crappy to me like the part were the kid gets his head turned into bugs. All and all its not that good of a movie.
16. The Tripper
I thought nobody could make a dumber movie then Hatchet in the year of 2007, then David Arquette came and challenged Hatchet in stupidity and won. This has one of the dumbest horror killers I have ever seen with a guy dressed up as Ronald Regain killing hippys. This would have been a some what of the passible idea if the movie was funny, its not at all. All the attempts at being funny in this movie fall flat like all the times the characters do drugs to stupid hippy jokes. Its a bad slasher movie, but its no were near the level of bad the next slasher movie on the list.
15. Hatchet 2
The only thing that is worse then a dumb slasher movie is there dumber sequel. Like the last movie it has unlikable characters, poor acting and really poor writing only its raised tenfold. The reason I say this is because the characters are written bad just so they can kill them off faster in the dumbest ways possible. There are so many stupid death scenes that it can take up this hole post. There is one were two people are having butt sex and the killer kills them wile its happening, a guy gets killed by having his intestines raped around his neck so hard that his head popes off and more stupid kills. There is no worth watching this movie at all.
14. The Haunted World of El Superbeasto
Rob Zombies worst movie. Everything in this movie is really bad like the voice acting is just annoying and it gets to you fast. The writing is so not funny at parts and just feel like a twelve year old trying to hard to be funny. Speaking of the movies humor it has some of the worst attempts at gross out humor outside of a kids movies I have ever scene with all the characters doing just gross things that make no sense at all, they just do it just to do it. What ever you do do not watch this movie, you will destroy your TV.
13. Repo The Genetic Opera
Talk about a movie that was good on paper, but on screen is terrible. Strange thing is that the things that put down other movies on this list are not present like bad acting and writing. The main problem in this movie is the most important thing in a musical the songs, the songs in this movie are horrible from the lazy lyrics, terrible beats and last nobody can sing in this other then two people. Its said because the idea is really interesting and its sad to see it destroyed with bad songs.
12. House of Wax
This movie is complete garbage and a horrible remake. the original is so good with great acting, great writing and a cool villain. Unlike this movie were the cut it down to a stupid slasher movie with horrible characters, poor acting, really bad writing and last the villains just flat out suck because they dumb down the villain into generic red neck killers. Just watch the original.
11. An American Werewolf in Paris
Talk about a really bad sequel to a great movie. The characters are just stupid and make really stupid choices. Some of the writing is weird bad at time other then just bad. The main problem in this movie is that the werewold effects are just horrible. They look fake as hell and they don't look anything like wolfs they look like rabid rodents. This movie falls in the pit of bad sequels.
The next Eli Roth movie on the list and to me its worse then Cabin Fever. The characters in the movie are like all Eli Roth movies are very annoying, horribly written and very unlikable. You know what I have figured something out, all the characters in Eli Roth movies are Eli Roth. Eli Roth in real life is annoying, kind of a ass hole and says stupid things. Its a really bad movie.
9. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
The worst of the series by far. It is a really boring movie with nothing really happening in except for a few scenes. Also the characters are stereotypes really badly with the dumb jock, the sex crazed girl and last the worst one is the gay guy, he is the most poorly written character I have ever scene in a slasher movie. Its just a bad movie.
Snoop Dogg's worst movie and that's saying a lot. Its one of the messiest movies I have scene were it does not know if it wants to be a strait up horror movie or a comedy and that's not a good thing because it feels strange. The acting is over the top and just goofy like all the parts were Snoop Dogg kills people were there inflections are bad. There some lines here and there, but all and all its a really bad movie, if you want to watch a real horror movie that mixes comedy watch a Sam Rami movie.
The decade we got great movies like 28 Days Later, The Ring, The Descent, Saw and more, but then we had movies like this. The plot made no sense at all with a web site kills people that watch people get killed on the website by a killer, but the killer in the video has nothing to do with the web site killing people and its gets messier and messier. Its nothing like the Ring were they slowly explain how it happens to people and whats doing it wile still having a good mystery to it, but here the mystery is just stupid and adds up to nothing. Also in the Ring the characters are smart, unlike this movie were the characters just do stupid thing threw the hole movie. Just don't watch this movie its stupid as hell.
6. Halloween: Resurrection
Like with most of the sequels on this part of the list its the worst Halloween. The first thing it does is it kills off Laurie in the first five minutes of the movie, that's a strike right there. The rest of the movies has the usual bad writing and bad characters, but it does something really dumb, it has Busta Ryhems beating up Michael Myers. That is the real killer of this movie ( no pun intended).
It biggest star is Bon Jovi, that's how bad this freaking movie is. The acting is really bad from Bon Jovi who has one tone in the movie to his sidekick that can't give emotions right and last the love interest were she has the combination of the two. The bad guy is really bland in this movie, just a generic vampire that does vampire things( at least it didn't sparkle in the light). The writing is really bad with some really horrible one liners. If the Twilight movies didn't happen this would be the worst vampire movie of all time.
4. House of the Dead
The worst zombie movie of all time. The characters are so stupid in this movie with every single one doing one dumb thing after another. It has some of the worst writing I have ever herd in a movie and the worst acting I have ever scene in a movie, but the biggest problem in this movie for me is the zombies. None of the zombies act like zombies at all in fact the George A. Romero fan zombies at the mall act more like zombies (they do a good job). All I can say is that this movie sucks.
3. Hostel Part 2
Eli Roth at his very worst ( and that is saying a lot). The pacing in this movie is horrible and just is as boring as the first. The characters in the movie are as badly written as ever along with being horrible acted. I mean come on Eli Roth, you got three movies on my list I guess you don't see that a lot of people hate your movies and other people like your movies(a very few people) and want to watch your movies (for some reason) so make a good movie to wow them and wow other people, but I guess its to hard for your brain to handle.
2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Next Generation
The worst movie out of all the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies and seeing were these movies have gone that's saying a lot. The acting is horrible the worst acting from Leatherface because all he does is yell a lot and be annoying as hell while doing it. It has some of the worst writing I have herd in any of these movies in the series were the teens sound like the kids from 90210 if they all had bad brain surgery and the rednecks sound like the ones on cops, but if they all were dropped on there heads and over rednecked there lines.
1. The Howling III
Yes this is the movie that is dumber then an Eli Roth movie, more mindless then a Friday the 13th sequel and last worse then the worse remakes that's how bad this movie is. I ain't lying when I say this, its one of the craziest movies I have ever scene and I saw Hobo With A Shotgun. Like most bad movies the acting is bad and the story is even worse along with horrible werewolf effects, but its the only movie on the list that I can say go see it to believe it because these last few words I am going to say can put the craziness of this movie in a nutshell, WEREWOLF NUNS.