If it's crap ... We'll tell you
“Yes I’m starting to age, I can feel it in my bones my advisors telling me start thinking bout clones”
Live from the Dresden, a couple of blocks from Mike’s apartment in the Los Feilz area of Los Angels CA
Well hellooooooo stranger danger. I have returned to blog form and to my W-E roots. Always good to do that once in a while. So you are no doubt wondering where I’ve been with the blog? “You don’t call, you don’t write Guy?” You are asking…. In my head. To answer that I will say that I kind of got burnt out writing these things for a few reasons, the first being health reasons. This past winter kicked the shagging out me and gave me 2nd’s and 3rd’s. I also had some other things going on my personal life that would be distracting. But in terms of Spill and movies as a whole. I was burnt out because I just got fucking sick and tired at the stories I would be looking at as I did my homework before I’d sit down to write a blog. And yes…. What I said wouldn’t happen. Happened, I also got busy at the weekends doing the W-E podcast with BDiddy… But I mean come on. 203 members at time of writing, that’s money all day long motherfucker. Lol
But it really was the former over the latter, believe me. I’m starting to feel it as I look for stories to talk about for the podcast.
“Guy what stories are you talking about ya maddy?” I once again hear u all call out in my head, and with Scottish accents too. Well, I was getting sick and tired of how Hollywood just can’t not be arsed to come up with ANYTHING original. It had become so stagnant to the point I wondered if H-wood was either been ran by a bunch hipster slackers or old as fuck men who were badly needing their milk and cookies and happy ending massages.
But no, the truth is far more sadder and that is of course the film world is now overran by money grabbing tools, desperate to the point that such things a long term franchise is literally rolled up into a small ball and thrown away in favour of a new and improved younger redo. In essence its really like exchanging that older model car for the newer faster model.
I am of course talking about the Spiderman mess.
"Don't cry for me. I died back in SM 3"
On my last full W-E blog I did, Sony had decided to give SM 4 the shit can and totally “Ultimate” reboot the franchise and that saw Toby Maguire, Sam Raimi and everyone else given the boot too. A new director was hired; he quite aptly is called Marc Webb and the man whose SM 4 draft script Sam used for toilet paper James Vanderbilt brought back to write the reboot. But as far as who will play the pre teen Peter Parker that is just a right clusterfuck. If you think of a pretty face in Hollywood chances are he’s being rumoured to be tagged to the role. Taylor (don’t call me wolf boy) Lautner, Jim ( 5th Dead Man Walking) Sturgess, Joseph (Summer Lovin) Gordon, Jesse (Nevermind The Buzzcocks) Eisenburg were just some of the names over dropped over the last few months. As this week Logan (Lighting blagger) Lerman was also denied by Sony.
At one time I kind of thought that Sony didn’t really know they wanted as they rushed into this way too fast, and whilst I still do think that to a degree I do think they have a better handle on the situation and I’d say Sony may have an announcement very soon on who will play Parker and may also follow up with a Comic Con press deal.
But regardless I still think this one of the most classes moves a movie studio has ever pulled by getting rid if the old SM franchise as they were in the development stages of the fourth film, and yes whilst there was trouble surrounding that from day one, hell since SM 3 really. But to just call time and suddenly shift your marketing strategy to a younger audience casue it’s the in thing to do. Is such a fuckin classes and greedy move on Sony’s part. A way out could have easily been found if Sam and Sony had better communication during the script writing process and good and balanced story could have been told. As bad as SM 3 was, the fourth film I really believe could have brought the franchise to prominence. It’s just a real lost opportunity in my view.
But Ultimate Spiderman will be the way forward now. Peter will be back at school, going all moon eyed at MJ and growing hair in very strange places. He will also be going through puberty again.
Oh and it will also be in 3D.. Which was my second burn out the 3D issue.
"YIPEEEE. Another film that has no bussiness being in 3D"
In the film Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Brodie makes a statement that once X-men made big at the box office all the film studios went and bought up the comic books to turn into films… Now whilst that did indeed happen (often to good results) something else happened last December and now film studios everywhere want a piece of 3D action… “What happened?” you ask? Well first off, if u are asking that then what the fuck is wrong with your memory? =0 But if u really need reminded then here ya go.
Made this film…
And it was hit HUGE. Shattering the box office quicker than a big ship that’s just hit a bloody great big iceberg.
And of course low and behold the studios now want repeat and constant success with more 3D films. This is fine, naturally you would want to follow a trend and a sucsessfull pathway that one Mr JC walked on, but when you want to take the short cut to that money pot. Well u are ever se gently pulling all of our pissers and we didn’t ask u to that now did we? Well… some of us might.
The main problem for me is that James worked for years and years and years perfecting his Avatar. In order to get a good Avatar that u can be truly be happy with. You have to work on that shit for years. James did and it paid off for the man in applause from the money men, much tail and face off with his Ex at a few award shows. THIS is what happens when u take time with your Avatar. But sadly.. H-Wood just don’t want that pay off. They want the here and now, which in turn has put many films on the short list for the 3D treatment; most are which are outlandish due to the limited timetable they are on. We have seen this recently with the Clash of the Titians remake was given the last second treatment a move that never really hit it’s mark.
So there’s crap like that were other upcoming films like Robin Hood are being ushered in with the quick 3D job. And the list of films being made into 3D… Well, I won’t give you the full list as I don’t want myself or Spill to take the heat for possible manslaughter. But it’s bad. I mean Adams Family 3D??? Gerlims 3D??? To name but a few… Hey where are you going? Oh, the toilet. Won’t be long.. Ok then…………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Finally burnout number 3. And it’s an oldie round these parts. Remakes…
"Remake me again. I dare ya"
These are still very much still a thorn in my side, though I do have to admit that the 3D thing has somewhat seen remakes take a backseat. That still does leave the problem of Foot Loose though.. Hmmmm
The horror genre is still very much the prime target it’s a real shame that the lesser known ones don’t get picked. It’s always the 80’s hits, such as Friday the 13th. My Bloody Valentine In fucking 3D btw and whilst these two films were alright. It’s been done… I’m always championing for something like Maniac Cop to get remade. But really I’ll settle for anything obscure. Yes, yes Last House on The Left remake blew but that was mainly down to the Morden day “blood and guts” that alllllllllllllllllllll horror films need nowadays. But I still think given the right direction in both script and choice of director. You could have something of a reborn underground hit on your hands..
Like this film made in 1996.
This film was brought to my attention by fellow Weekender group member and obscure horror film expert Nikki Damon (who did write a blog herself today btw) and as I sat and watched the trailer I could see it as a real good call for a remake.
It’s silly. Bloody but in a silly way and it’s not too late for it to follow on the heels of Teeth. One would hope that it could follow on the same path of the original in regards to it’s gay storyline, but if not u could change the dynamic to something akin to Teeth, i.e a teen film… But u would hope we have moved on to the point we could keep that “taboo” in tact.
But sadly with another Tramavile film, Toxic Avenger due for a PG Rated remake.( I know, I know I’m reminded of the cartoon as well) it none of this seems likely right now.
Remaking big horror films is big business and with Halloween 3 off and on, it’s business that will remain at the forefront which I think is a shame and maybe even disrespectful to the original franchise.
The modern day Myers. Classy, isn't he?
By remaking the big horror films… to me.. It’s always been a case of H-wood wanting to in a way dumb down that franchise. It’s no secret to any regular readers that I think we are living in a very much dumbed down society. Were it’s literally about pulling out the shinny, shinny and waving it about to our movie goers and sadly for the most part they go for it. Subtance and the art of actually telling a good story is loooonggg gone and guess what? No one but H-wood can change that. I can’t change it writing this blog or talking about on the podcast. No other member on this site can. No one can really. It will take some suit to realise his tie is on too tight, for him to go to a near by mirror and loosen the dammed thing and as he does so takes a long hard look in the mirror and realise how watered down the thought process is in the film business is right now for anything to change.
But writers who give a shit about telling good stories can still do their thing and hopefully that little nugget will break through and make a change.
I’m not really sure the overall point of this blog is. I once stated during the Avatar debate that originality in a story is dead. An original story just doesn’t exist anymore. But and I hate to use this term again. The psychology of telling a good story is not. By grooming the story and keeping it an even pace, u can tell the best story. Will it be original? No, not really. Nothing I have ever written has been. But by grooming and pacing second hand ideas your story can then become your own and THAT’s what’s missing from films today because now it’s all about the here and now and the quick results.
But I’m still looking forward to films. Ironman 2. I’m keen to see how the Hobbit will turn out. And how Marty and De Niro will work together again after years apart. Hell, I’m even keen on seeing how Toy Story 3 will do. Through all the animation and that, Pixar has always managed to tell chorent and meaningful stories.
So, this is kind of a rant blog sure. But also my best way to brake back in to blog world.
Next weekend I will be bringing back the regular W-E blog. Going back to my roots. Well barring the usual tech shite, though I do have a new laptop complete with Windows 7 and the net feed is running beautifully.
But for this weekend, I want a brake in rant. Lol
So until next weekend.. Just u do all u can be to be Money…. And as always u can also listen to the W-E podcast with best co-host EVER on Spill, BDiddy. And I will see u back here next weekend.
That’s if you want me back. U do?? right?