The Lovely Bones Pushed to January?!

I hope I'm hallucinating, because this is just getting f***ing ridiculous.

This has yet to be confirmed on any major news websites, but if Box Office Mojo is to be believed, then Paramount isn't even trying to compete for Oscar 2009. As I checked the post of recent release schedule changes (which also lists The Road's move from October to November 25 and Up in the Air's November 13 limited launch- before it expands on November 25 as well), I was shocked to see that The Lovely Bones was listed. The latest film from Lord of the Rings helmer Peter Jackson has been pushed from its original date on December 11 to January 15, 2010.

Okay, let me get this out of my system...

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING, PARAMOUNT???!!!!

First you say that you can't afford an Oscar campaign for Shutter Island and push it to February (despite the fact that it ACTUALLY IS AS GOOD AS WE THINK IT WILL BE), and now you don't have money to start one for The Lovely Bones, either?! C'mon, it's Peter Jackson, people! If you guys really thought it had Oscar chances, then you could have asked Jackson to loan you some money for a campaign (seriously, that guy is LOADED with cash)!

And if you're talking about box office potential, then you already had that covered before you made this mistake. Okay, I get it, it's not easy to sell a movie about a dead 14-year old girl, even if it had a star-studded cast, one of the most bankable directors currently on the planet, and a bestselling novel as the source material. But it's certainly got to have better chances of making coin in the middle of the holiday season than in what is possibly the biggest box office dead month on the calendar (next to September, of course). It's the holiday season, people! There's room for EVERYTHING in THAT box office pie! If you could make over $125 million domestic on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button during Christmas, then The Lovely Bones is AT LEAST capable of matching that! Heck, Valkyrie, a film that many deemed was doomed to fail and kill Tom Cruise's career, managed to pull in a solid $83 million during the holiday season! This move will only make you LESS money, not more!

Okay, I can see that you have Up in the Air scheduled to hit during thanksgiving, and you're thrilled with the terrific buzz and the box office potential. It's probably CERTAIN to be a Best Picture nominee now. But you know what? At least have the common sense to have a backup plan. Just look at the Weinstein Company. The Road looks like a big contender, but they're not pushing their luck by making it their sole bid for the gold. They're also releasing Nine (which has even better chances, actually) around the same time, and Inglorious Basterds is even building steam for a future campaign. The Weinsteins may not be the best and biggest studio, but they're not stupid enough to put all their rotten eggs in one basket (reference!).

You know what, Paramount? FU-

Oh, wait a tick-

*skims through Release Schedule Page*

OOOHHHHHH... it's expanding on January 15. It's still going to open on December 11th, but in LIMITED release! So...

...it's still eligible...

*pause*

Heh, heh...

Hey Weinsteins! What's up with you pushing The Road to Thanksgiving?! What makes you honestly think that people will want to see the most depressing movie of the year during Turkey Time?!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING, WEINSTEINS????!!!!!