The Fourth Kind - Audio Review

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Comment by Alex Thompson on November 15, 2009 at 12:37am

Well, the trailer looked dumb and you guys confirmed the movie was dumb. Thanks!

Comment by Wolf Remington on November 11, 2009 at 7:22pm

Isn't District Nine supposed to be a fictional documentary where they also say that this acttually happened, that there was a ufo over a city in south Africa. And yet you make a big deal when there trying to make people belive that the fourth kind is an actual documentary of alien abdutions in Nome Alaska? just saying

Comment by That African Kid on November 11, 2009 at 1:35am

Sometimes I watch a movie which makes me regret my stubborn tendency to absolutely avoid reviews and commentary involving said movie until I've watched it. The Fourth Kind is a fantastic example. Knowing next to nothing about it, I tortured myself with more than an hour of Milla 'Alice' Jovovich and her atrocious 'acting'. The subpar performances (Or perhaps overt performances would be a better way of describing it) were not what eventually caused me to throw up my hands and cry out 'Fuck-a-dis', but the very concept of the movie. Carlyle absolutely nailed my greatest issue, that being the attempt to capitalize on ignorance about the subject matter in order to solicit some kind of response from the audience. Unlike the blair witch project however, Four Kind is nothing short of audacious in its attempts to confuse the truth, and Milla's statements at the beginning of the movie are the greatest 'fuck you' I've ever seen on the silver screen. Staring at the screen, I just thought "Great... this movie's willing to outright lie to me, I'm not going to enjoy this, am I?" Turns out I was right, damnit.

"Fourth Kind" sucks, and not the good kind of suck like a happy ending or Troll 2. No, it's the bad kind like Wolverine and Herpes. The name actors made me ill with their performances and, as the plot progressed, I couldn't stand how gullible they must have thought their audience would be. What was worse, some idiot behind me actually said "Holy shit... Why wasn't this on the news?" Good fucking question >.< And the novel approach they took to story telling, lining up the 'dramatic reenactment' footage and the 'archived' footage? Whoever decided to do that should seek out a refund for their theatrical education up until that point. What a fantastic way to distract the audience and remind them that what they are watching is almost definitely fake.

Fuck this movie.

Comment by Stinknus on November 11, 2009 at 1:07am

sure, of course there are "aliens" ie other life forms in the universe. but why would they come here. sure they could be space faring races.
flat out I wouldn't care if they did come down here to get some human ass

Comment by SpikeGhost on November 10, 2009 at 8:29pm

i loved the movie, i gave it a 4/5

Comment by alicia williams on November 10, 2009 at 3:46pm

thanks for the review

Comment by alicia williams on November 10, 2009 at 3:42pm

i was going to see this movie but after this review and what my friends been saying i decided not to, but the trailer looked so good

Comment by Leon on November 10, 2009 at 2:35pm

Unless they were the idiot aliens from SIGNS, Fungusmonkey, who're allergic to water but still land on a planet that you can see from outer space is covered with it.

Oh, and Tim Couchman? You're saying that it's not simply that we don't agree with YOU, but we're "wrong", huh?

"The Spill Crew has instead traded film criticism for half-assed astronomy by throwing their two cents into the Fountain of Who Gives a Rat’s Ass."
Anyone else wanna take a crack at untangling that metaphor?

Comment by Fungusmonkey on November 10, 2009 at 2:00pm

I agree with the last part of Seth's comment - if there ever was some form of intelligent life out there besides us (which I believe there is, but only by extension of my optimistic hope that humans aren't the absolute end-all be-all life form in the universe), I doubt very highly they'd ever bother contacting us unless it was purely accidental.

One glance at our TV signals from orbit and you'd find out rather quickly that when humans encounter an alien life-form, we a)shoot at it, b)blow it up, or c)shoot at it until someone else can blow it up. Chances are they'd get inside our solar system, turn on the tube and then just turn right back around. We're like the Oakland of the universe, all the other aliens probably just roll up their windows and lock their doors when they drive through. :)

Comment by Seth on November 10, 2009 at 8:43am

I want to see this movie, it looks cool. But like the Spill crew told us, don't take it seriously, and have some stupid fun. The fact that the review was like... 20 minutes long kind of baffled me...but hey, more content for us! Also, when the Aliens DO make contact with us, don't tell them that you thought they wanted to stick things up your bum... they might find that offensive.

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