The End Is Near: Apocalyptic Movies

I have a love/hate relationship with apocalyptic movies. While I love watching them for their stellar special effects, I hate them for two reasons: 1) they scare the shit out of me and 2) they have some of the dumbest plots ever. However, when it comes time for a new “end of the world” flick to hit theaters, it almost always does well. Whether they make you paranoid or cause you to laugh your ass off, one thing's for sure: they're entertaining. Here are my picks for best apocalyptic flicks, broken down by category since there's a shit-ton of them.



Epidemic/Pandemic

Dawn of the Dead (1978) – While we got our first taste with flesh-eaters in Night of the Living Dead, we didn't get a sense of just how big of a problem the zombie outbreak seemed. While seeing a few dozen people infected, it was definitely terrifying, but after seeing thousands, it took it to “pandemic” status. Nothing screams “We're fucked” more than staring death directly in the eye hundreds of times over.

28 Days Later – By the time 2002 rolled around, people around the globe were familiar with how scary zombies can be...that is until Danny Boyle made them run. Using rural land throughout England and a eerily silent soundtrack, we were re-introduced to the feeling of being scared by the undead all over again. The one thing that's scarier than confronting evil is the knowledge of just how alone you are, and nothing sends that point home more than deserted acres of farmland.

Outbreak – Unlike zombie movies, once you catch this disease, you just die. There's no coming back. That's my biggest fear. I've come to appreciate Outbreak, mostly because of its all-star cast, which includes Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Spacey, Cuba Gooding Jr., Rene Russo, Donald Sutherland and Morgan Freeman.

The Stand – While I realize this is technically a made-for-TV miniseries, it would feel wrong to not include it. After a man-made virus kills off most of the planet, a Biblical battle between the survivors breaks out. It's totally bat-shit and often implausible, but it's a fascinating watch. Besides, there aren't many things (aside from “CSI: NY”) that star Gary Sinise that I don't like.

I Am Legend/The Omega Man/The Last Man on Earth – Based on Richard Matheson's story I Am Legend, these are apocalyptic films that I will always watch. Starring Will Smith, Charlton Heston and Vincent Price, respectively, as the only survivor of a world-wide plague, Robert Neville (or Morgan, in Last Man) has to fend for himself to survive in what's left of the earth and the ghoulish, blood-thirsty sub-creatures that now inhabit it. All film versions of the story are great, so check them out ASAP.



Natural Disaster

Waterworld – I know I'm going to get a lot of flak for this, but this movie is a total guilty pleasure for me. Waterworld visits a dystopian future after the melting of ice caps takes place, rendering people to live on tiny man-made islands that are totally surrounded by water. In fact, Kevin Costner is so “evolved” to the new world that he's grown gills...because he's fucking Kevin Costner. He even drinks his own pee. It's so ridiculous it's hard not to like...or at least laugh a whole bunch.

Armageddon/Deep Impact – Let's face it. These movies are essentially the same. An asteroid heading towards earth is threatening the lives on all who inhabit it. In one movie, NASA saves earth, in the other they fail miserably. There are A-listers in both: Armageddon's Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to Deep Impact's Morgan Freeman and James Cromwell, and both films are equally enjoyable and ludicrous.

The Day After Tomorrow – There are two things that I loved about this movie: Jake Gyllenhaal (yes, I'm one of THOSE girls) and the special effects. In fact, I found myself becoming so overwhelmed in certain scenes that I had a panic attack from holding my breath too long. The plot is unfortunately terrible, so don't expect much of anything in that arena, but if it's on TBS and I'm bored, I'll watch it.



Alien Invasion

Independence Day – Not since Alien have there been more scary-looking creatures. They stand at LEAST 8 feet tall, have freaky-ass tentacles and can split their fucking heads open. Color me horrified! With a cast that includes Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Randy Quaid and Harvey Fierstein, I find the movie really hard to resist.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) – I LOVE LOVE LOVE this movie! Forget about the horrific 2009 remake starring Keanu Reeves...stick with the original! An alien comes to earth to warn its people to shape the fuck up or they'll die. It's perfectly executed from its acting to its writing and the effects for its day are really impressive. If you like old B-movies but want something a little better, this movie is perfect for you!

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) – There have since been three movies based on this classic horror/sci-fi tale, but this is my personal favorite. Aliens come to earth and copy humans one by one in order to take over the planet with no one noticing. It's absolutely terrifying in spots, beautifully shot and has a great cast, which includes Donald Sutherland, Jeff Goldblum and Leonard Nimoy.



Bonus!

Mad Max – HOLYSHITMELGIBSONISSOHOTINTHISMOVIE!! Alright, now that's out of the way...I really love this entire series, even though I really dig the second movie. Why anyone would ever wear leather in the Aussie outback, especially after the apocalypse (I imagine it got even warmer) is beyond me. There are some bad-ass cars, lots of great action and a plot that actually makes sense despite it's dreary future.

Children of Men – I realize it's been three years since this movie was nominated for the cinematography and editing Oscars, but I'm still fucking bitter that it didn't win. More on that some other time. This movie is dreary, to say the very least. Man is no longer able to reproduce and the state of the world is getting worse with each day...especially once the first pregnant woman in 18 years is revealed. It's beautifully written as much as it's brilliantly shot.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day – Alright, so 1997 came and went and no apocalypse was in sight. However, that doesn't stop Terminator 2 from still being one of the best sci-fi movies I've ever seen. The effects are still great, Arnie is a force to be reckoned with and Linda Hamilton is totally awesome. Being a lady and kicking some serious ass has never been better