If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) is looked down upon by most of if not all of his peers. One day he finds himself getting superpowers that allow him to climb up walls and shoot spiderwebs, thus becoming Spider-Man. But a foe by the name of the Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe (pun not intended)) is out to stop him.
I have an interesting history with this movie. I had heard of Spider-Man before I saw it in 2002, but I had never really known anything about him. I hadn't even ever heard of the Green Goblin before. The movie got me interested in Spider-Man and comics in general, but in all honestly I have never liked this movie. There are so many little things and quite a few big things that really irk me all throughout the film and now, ten years later, it's no different.
First of all, there is absolutely no chemistry between Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson. Both of them are, from what I can tell from their other work, very competent actors. None of that talent is present in this or any of the Spider-Man films. And considering the fact that this movie is pretty much all about developing their relationship, it makes for one boring, long, drawn-out film that feels like an absolute chore to sit through. If you're coming for action, there is very little of that in this movie. Oh, it's there, but it's few and far between. And most of the action is really nothing to write home about either.
I don't know what to say about Willem Dafoe in this movie. He gives the best performance of anyone on set by far, but at the same time it is way too over the top and feels very out of place. The script in general is extremely flawed, but his scenes in particular have some of the most idiotic and dumbfounding dialogue and gestures of the film. It does start to dip into "so-bad-it's-good" territory, but not enough to save the rest of this boring film. Everyone else, save for Rosemary Harris as Aunt May, plays it completely deadpan and overly serious to the point where they all just look bored on set. Harris at least plays her part efficiently, but line delivery is not up to par. And again, this is more than likely just because the dialogue given to every character is so completely wrong and confusing that it hurts.
The movie doesn't seem to know whether it wants to be a comedy or a drama. I feel like Sam Raimi was a terrible choice to direct this movie and somebody else like James Cameron (yes, I said that) or even Stephen Spielberg could have pulled it off better. But you can't change that past and what we're left with is a dumb, confusing borefest of a superhero movie that feels like it was only made because somebody realized nobody had ever made a Spider-Man movie before.