Santos Reviews "Spider-Man Magazine #3"

(Singing) Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Spectacular, Spectacular...

Ah yes, Spider-Man. Marvel's first fucked up superhero. Poor Peter Parker's sure been through a lot over the years. He was bitten by a radioactive spider and gained superpowers; he became cocky and got his uncle killed; he turned himself into a superhero that nobody liked (due mainly to the media's vilification of him); he's battled every psychopath that exists in the Marvel U; he's lost countless loved ones due to his "job"; he got married; he got cloned; he made a deal with the devil and he did a really bad John Travolta impersonation. Now the dude's got his own magazine!

In actuality, "Spider-Man Magazine" is really nothing more than a collection of previously published age appropriate Spider-Man comics. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Since it's presented in magazine form, it's easy to find in the book/mags section of your local Wal-Mart (yes, I'm advertising. What of it?) thus making it easier for kids to experience Marvel's kiddy comics.

Actually, that's really not a fair way to put it. Truth be told, Marvel's younger material (particularly their Marvel Adventures Line) is one of the best things about the comic book company. They're not exactly masterpieces, put they are fun, fast paced and a good starting off point for children just getting into comics. (Plus, unlike DC, Marvel doesn't base their youth based comics on their most recent cartoon shows.) So if a magazine can get them into these comics, I'm all for it.

Well, now that I've bored you to tears with this longer than necessary introduction, let's get on with the actual review, shall we? This particular issue contains four stories so I will be reviewing each story separately. Here goes...

The Sinister Six: This is actually the second half of a two-parter. It's basically a powerless (not sure why) teenage Spidey facing off against the titular villain group in a warehouse (comic book villains sure love those, don't they?) where Aunt May and J.J.J are being held. It's nothing to write home about (Spidey's sudden regaining of his powers is not explained and May and Jonah's arguing is more annoying than funny), but if you like action, you won't be disappointed. Plus, you have to admire how "not stupid" Doc Ock is. Unlike other villain leaders, the dude actually tries to kill his enemy head on instead of just leaving him to die (read the comic and you'll understand what I'm talking about). I'd give this **1/2.

Project Run Away: This actually the third part of the Spider-Man and Power Pack mini-series (which you can read in its entirety for free here). The story here concerns the Power kids accepting an invite from an adult (and married) Peter Parker to a fashion show where Mary Jane is modeling and Petey himself is photographing. Things are going great until the symbiote derived fashion wear that's being modeled goes a little crazy (no surprise there). I really like the Power Pack and the idea of someone turning Venom's costume into designer material is a great one, but one thing brings this down for me. Wouldn't either Peter, MJ or possibly even both notice something familiar about this new clothing and be a little concerned? That doesn't happen and is thus a plot hole that I couldn't ignore. But I don't think kids will mind too much. It is written with them in mind after all and, on that front, I think it's just fine. Plus, it ends on a nice, creepy cliffhanger (and if, like me, you've read the whole series, you'll know that what follows is actually pretty intense). In fact, that ending alone earns this half a point. **1/2.

Stars, Stripes and Spiders: This little team-up tale featuring Captain America is, without question, my favorite story in this issue. First off, it's the only stand alone tale in the book and, more importantly, Spidey and Cap work so well together. Sure, the basic plot is pretty thin (something about the two taking on a villain who can turn people into stone) , but the chemistry between the two elevates this to a very high level. Plus, this tale actually brings up some pretty deep questions for a children's story and Cap's patriotism is quite inspiring. If I have any complaints it's that Cap looks too damn short, but that's a minor quibble. ***1/2.

Silver Rage: This is the last story in the magazine and the only one that I didn't bother reading again. It basically had to do with Spidey and the Fantastic Four battling an alien invasion. Honestly, nothing special although I did like how all of the staff was given nicknames like in the old days. Nice touch. **.

There is also some poster art in the book, but it's kind of blah and (for some stupid reason) is printed on the pages of the comics instead of as a separate tear out. I mean, honestly, what's the point of putting a poster in a book if it can't be hung up on a wall?

Well, that's it. Yes, I know. Pretty low ratings for something I was touting so highly, but I think that's mainly because I'm an adult who can't ignore things that a kid can. I still stand by Marvel's youth based comics. Like I said, they're a starting off point and they're certainly not boring. Besides, the third story alone is worth your money. I give this entire issue ***.