Reviewing Summer 2009 Part VII: GI Joe The Rise of Cobra

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

For those who aren’t aware of the GI Joe mythology, it started as a hugely successful toy line and went on to become one of the biggest cartoons of the 80s.The story was simple: a group of the best soldiers in the world form together GI Joe, who must take on the evil global organization known as Cobra. I have seen some of the episodes from the cartoon and it’s a pretty cool show. It is filled with that 80s campiness but that was part of its appeal. Not only is that, but the new cartoon, GI Joe Resolute, is a great animated show. And I’m not ashamed to admit that the first live-action film, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, is a pretty good action film.

Plot is basically the same as it always was: Joes vs. Cobra. Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) are two of the best soldiers in the army and while delivering nuclear warheads, they are attacked by a Cobra unit, led by the Baroness (Sienna Miller). Being the only survivors, they recruited by GI Joe, led by Colonel Hawk(Dennis Quaid) who together, along with fellow teammates Scarlett, Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), must stop a global destruction plot led by Cobra heads Destro(Christopher Eccleston) and The Doctor (Joseph Gordon-Levitt).

It’s no surprise that from Stephen Sommers, director of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, that this movie is a stupid-as-hell entertaining action fest. And when I mean stupid, I mean S-T-U-P-I-D. This is not smart by any stretch of the imagination. This film pretty much changes the laws of Physics several times in the film. One scene involves them using ice to destroy an underwater base, which could probably work: except ice doesn’t sink, they float. That’s why you have icebergs. I’m not nit-picking; I’m just giving an example of the levels of absurdity this film reaches.

The film has some delightfully hammy acting, with the exception of two people; Christopher Eccleston, who acts like he is a possible frontrunner for Best Supporting Actor, and Channing Tatum, whose serious face looks like someone asked him to divided 898 by 7. Apart form that, the cast were good considering what they were in. Quaid was extremely cheesy, and Marlon Wayans has never been better since Requiem for a Dream Then again, considering what he’s done since then, that isn’t saying much. Anyone remember White Chicks and Little Man? No? Let’s keep it that way. For me, Joseph Gordon-Levitt stole the acting showcase, chewing up every bit of scenery he was in. He practically had to play three characters and did a damn good job with them.

Like Sommers’ previous, the film is a lot of fun. They’re not the best action scenes but they were very enjoyable, the highlight being the accelerator suit/car chase in Paris. The final underwater battle was also fun, but could have used a bit of containment. It got a little bit wild at parts. There are also some cool fight scenes between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow.

The film’s main flaw for me is that it borrows heavily from other material. I mean, parts of this film feel like Star Wars mixed with X-Men. I dare you to watch it and not point out the similarities, because you can’t. They are so blatant that you find yourself laughing at how close they are. Also, some of the CG is REALLY bad, almost to the level where you can mistake it from a videogame. Apart from that, the film is a lot of fun. Dumb: very. Fun: even more so.

Overall: it Makes Transformers look smart in comparison, GI Joe is the kind of dumb summer fun that people find hard to admit is a good thing and runs along the same with Sommers' previous Mummy films as being fire-and-forget popcorn entertainment. But then, with a live-action GI Joe film, what else were you expecting?

Now you know, and knowing is……you know what? I’m above that.

Verdict: Matinee!!