If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Have you guys ever watched a film so dreadfully boring and stupid. Well I have and it's called House of The Dead. You want to know why, well i'm going to tell you.
Pros: Even with it's dreadfully slow pace( Bad Shit) it still seems to create a mood and a suspenseful atmosphere but really come on, that's all that it has going for it.Also a girl gets her brains cocked on the windshield, but that is really all.
Bad Shit!!!!!!: Well if you've seen this 2009 film you know it's trying to mimic an 70's and 80's horror flick even going as far as to add the copyright symbol right below the shitty title of the really shitty 80's montage opening hope i'm not spoiling anything, but who gives a shit anyway, it's of her walking around like a fucking idiot, I mean it is so bad that I couldn't even cringe because this shit faced opening actually stunned my moving, come on people It's so bad it stunned my movement, Fuck I HATE this "MOVIE"!!!!! So even after the shitty ass montage we get terrible acting, cringe inducing dialogue, characters who don't give 10 fucks about and the worse pacing ever put in a movie, but that makes sense since i didn't a fucking editor no where on this shitty fucking project . But the worse sin this movie has commited to the world was calling itself "House of the Devil" there is no witchcraft or any devil in the film instead it should be called " House of the Slow-Paced Pigshit".
So Overall, the film is a turd of cinema. I would only recommend it to people you hate or even possibly want to kill 'cause this arthouse hitman will do the job. It tried to be a 70's and 80's horror flick but failed if you want a film successful at this try Planet Terror or Death Proof. The ending is a big FUCK YOU to anyone who didn't turn it off after the title montage so all i can do is say FUCK YOU movie. Why did it have to be on Blu-Ray.
Spill Rating: FUCK YOU!!!!