If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Are you freaking kidding me? I know that the video game industry has a long and honored tradition of taking old franchises and completely sodomizing them. I mean, the screenshots for the new Syndicate game alone are enough to drive a man into a frothing, bloody rage, but Max Payne... how could you! Hell, Max is hardly even recognizable in this trailer. Who is that dumpy hobo with the shaved head and the MAC-10? I think someone switched out my trailer for the latest build of Chunky Monroe Vagrant Assassin.
Go Chunky! Go!
Really? I had seen the screenshots, but in my heart of hearts I had always hoped that the developers would sober up and, I don't know, play one of the old Max Payne games and come to their senses before this nonsense got out of hand. Apparently I'm some kind of pie-in-the sky idealist. But wait, I can hear you saying 'But Professor Jeff, you yourself have said that developers shouldn't make the same game over and over again. This Max Payne has the voice over and the action, why are you so bent out of shape?' Well friends, the answer is simple. While all of those elements may still be here, what made Max Payne so charming and set it apart from other games of the time were two words: Film Noir.
That's right. Max Payne was one of the best Film Noir style games that I've ever played. It wasn't just the cheesy voice over or the hard as nails action, it was the mystery, the setting, the whole tone of the game. Dark and gritty alleys on the streets of New York City. A detective with a troubled past caught over his head in a fight for his life. Even Max Payne 2 had Mona Sax, a cutthroat dame on the wrong side of the law with a heart of gold. These were the things that kept me replaying Max Payne over and over again. That sense of style and immersion in an over the top crime story made what could have been a middling shooter with a fairly unique game play mechanic into one of my favorite games of all time.
So why can't this one do the same? Well frankly this looks more Kane and Lynch than Max Panye to me. What I'm seeing from this trailer looks to be the story of a broken down alcoholic murdering his way through Sao Paolo to rescue some frail damsel in distress. Where's the intrigue? Where's the tough as nails detective trying to save the world and himself at the same time? Ooooohhh, he shaved his head now it's personal. Maybe instead of spending time cutting his hair off, Chunky there could have done a few stomach crunches, or... you know, put on a shirt. Call me crazy but a wife beater doesn't seem like the most tactically sound choice for a protracted gun battle.
But maybe it's just me here. What do you guys think? Am I overreacting? Hit up the comments and let me know. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a broad waiting outside with a pair of legs that just won't quit who says her brother's in trouble with Fancy Frank Malone. These dames will be the death of me.
Oh yeah, also this is the best thing I've ever seen. Stare at its power and tremble in fear!
Gentlemen. I hear those swords do a pretty good job at the whole 'hurting the other guy' thing. Just saying is all.