Paul Blart: Mall Cop Movie Review

Cyrus is so right, Kevin James (if given the right material) is pretty funny. I mean look at the King of Queens. I was not a fan of the 2007 comedy "I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry" or his cameo in another Adam Sandler film "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" which I actually thought was hilarious. But on Friday the 16th of January I went to go see My Bloody Valentine in 3-D, but they were sold out so what was the next most logical movie to see. Notorious. I didn't really want to see it, but the trailer did interest me because I think Angela Bassett is a great actress and the cinematography looked kind of cool, but no, they were sold out. So the next most logical thing to see was Paul Blart: Mall Cop. It's weeks like this that make me want to sell my soul to the devil so I can change the date of "Watchmen," "Up," and "Terminator Salvation."
I walk in. I hate it. No, not what your thinking. I mean the audience. When I tell you this story you are going to laugh because this tops any loud movie theater story. I get in and these three teenagers come in and start jumping up and down and touching the screen. But, naturally, this movie attracts skinny little white people so no one says anything. Then these guards come in and everyone looks relieved because we all think they are going to shut them up, but, naturally, they know each other. So they start yelling at each other from the other end of the theater. "YO WHAT'S UP!!!!!!!!" "NOTHIN', MUCH MAN, HOWS YOUR MA!" "BAD SHE GOT CANCER BAD MAN" is what is said between the six. So the trailers start playing and this group of of 14 year olds come in with all their phones. Oh yay! This is bliss. I have to tell them to shut up and turn off their phones a couple of times. Doesn't work. Meanwhile two things happen, the guards (WHO WORK FOR THE THEATER) take out their cellphones and start to watch videos on full volume and this continues when the movie starts. And goes for about 10 minutes, and then they sit down, and what do you know this family comes in with this baby screaming "I WAN'T MY FOOD." The bits of the movie I heard, were terrible, it wasn't funny, and it was badly shot. Time to go.
I went to go see Slumdog Millionare for the second time instead. That's a great movie.