My Top Ten Unusual Movie Guns
I am not a fan of the NRA. I actually detest guns but I can stand guns in movies. I especially love guns that make you have a double take and say what the fuck is that. The kind of guns that say to the laws of physics “Fuck You”. Here are some of my favorite unusual guns in movies.
10. Crossbow Blaster Gun
Movie: Star Wars
A great way to start off the list with a giant alien dog/humanoid carrying a laser crossbow. This weapon is a classic. A crossbow that can fire lasers. There is really no point in the crossbow design other than its different from the rest of the blaster and it’s cool. Question, what is the purpose of the silver sash with Chewbacca. Are they cigarettes, reloading cartridge, or doggy treats?
9. Hook Gun
Movie: The Island
A lot of people hate this movie. It wasn’t horrible it was just okay. There was a cool gun in it. A gun that fires hooks to grab on to people. They were kind of like futuristic fish poles but with these rods you don’t catch fish with them. You catch Michael Clark Duncans, look at it this way; at least he’s big enough not to throw back.
8. Sonic Gun
Movie: Minority Report
Another movie that people don’t like. Now this movie I actually enjoyed. I thought it was a cool concept and had cool futuristic technologies. This movie was at least better than that rip off “I Robot”. One of the cool technologies is the sonic gun. This gun uses sonic waves to stun people. Wait not stun people, this gun knocks them the fuck out. You reload the weapon like one of those annoying party favors that spin around (the ones that goes clack-clack-clack). I say that people should watch this movie again and enjoy the sonic gun scene.
7. Shoulder Cannon
We go to the opposite of the sonic gun. Instead of knocking a man the fuck out, this gun knocks a fucking hole through him. A POWERFUL gun mounted on the shoulder of a dreadlock alien game hunter. The gun shots out plasma blasts that burn through victims. Question: Is the predator a Rastafarian alien? Dreadlocks and aliens don’t mix well.
6. Cartoon Revolver
Movie: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
You have to love a gun that’s animated and can kill a person. Also one of the bullets most racist stereotypical Native American characterization I had seen since Disney’s Peter Pan (I was just waiting for the bullet to say “Me like firewater”) (By the way I don’t condone racism, its bad). The rest of the bullets are stupid western miners, which is always good. I love a Disney movie in which the animators are on crack. Remember kids crack is whack.
5. Hypodermic Needle Gun
Movie: Planet Terror
What do you think of when you hear hot lesbian nurse in a zombie movie? If you said “Fucking Awesome”, you would’ve been correct. Also you can say a lesbian nurse who shoots hypodermic Needles from a gun at zombies. Which is also “Fucking Awesome”. I like when movies take a character’s profession and uses it as a weapon. Next we are going to have plumbers that have deadly plunger guns.
4. Big Revolver
When I say big revolver, I mean BIG revolver. This gun makes a magnum look like a pea shooter. Not only is the gun big but it has a variety of bullets to combat different monster, which is awesome. Some of the bullets are tracers (which helps track the monsters) to garlic and silver cased bullets. It’s a great weapon to use to fight the force of darkness.
3. Prosthetic Leg Gun
Movie: Planet Terror
Even though this gun is complete ludicrous and couldn’t possible work, it is still fucking awesome. There is no way that she could fire this gun or be able to aim it accurately but it doesn’t really matter when it is being fired by hotty mchot hot Rose Mcgowan. She adds points to this list and also having a random item like a fake leg with a gun adds to the coolness factor.
2. Cross Shotgun
You have to love blasphemy. I’m going to make a new word for the cross shotgun “Blastastic”. Let’s get a gun and take a symbol of Christ, put them together and kill some demons. Whooooooo. So much satisfaction in seeing demons gets their heads blown off by a cross. Even if it’s Keanu Reeves holding the gun.
Movie: From Dusk till Dawn
Tom Savini is the god of horror special effects. When he has a cool cock gun, it makes him a super duper god. This gun is what you think it is a gun. It looks like a cock with two barrels. Do I really have to spell it out for anyone? He pulls it off really well. Before the cock gun, I wouldn’t have taken a man wearing a cod piece seriously but if they’re wearing a cock gun underneath, you don’t want to mess with him. One bad thing is the recoil. That would be a sensitive area for recoil to hit.
I hope you enjoyed the list. I’m William Cutting and thanks for reading.