All right, I’ll admit it, I’m a girl and as a girl I’m required to like girly things, like unicorns and small puppies and vampires who sparkle. Okay, I actually hate vampires who sparkle, or look like douchebags. Back to my original point, if there’s one thing girls have are girly movies. They all follow a basic formula, girl falls for guy, and there’s music. So I’ve compiled a list of girly movies that I enjoy. So I guess for this one I have to put away my horror films and actually embrace my inner girl. Gag.
10 – Practical Magic: I love magic, I love witches, I also love Sandra Bullock. So put it all together and you get the film Practical Magic. Based on the novel, the movie tells a story of two young sisters who are desperate to find love and prove that a family curse isn’t real. Basically its Charmed with better acting. Nicole Kidman also starred and all I can say is how pretty she was in it. The acting itself is okay, and the love seemed forced toward the end, but I still got a kick out of it. For the men, this film had a rather lesbian subtext between the sisters, so at least you guys got something.
9 – Across the Universe: I know, I know, shut up Beatles lovers, I get it, the movie wasn’t great. The acting was poor, some of it made no sense and the anti-war message had been done better in other movies. But damnit, it had Bono; Bono looking hot. And singing. Plus the kid who played Jude was hot. And come on, Joe Cocker singing “Come Together” is the coolest thing ever. I really didn’t buy the romance between Jude and Lucy, but still it had music. Now if someone would just make a musical with the music of Meatloaf, I would die a happy girl.
8 – Moulin Rouge: All right, this list is going to have musicals, hush. Moulin Rogue was made for girls and gay men. Bright colors, fast paced dancing and nothing but sparklies! Plus it had Ewan McGregor doing something that didn’t involve those shitty prequels. The music was memorable, simply because it was Madonna and Queen, and I left the theater thinking I could actually find love. Until I realized I’m a nerd and like comic books.
7 – Romeo + Juliet : Before Twilight, there was a story of love between fair Romeo and Juliet. I never liked the play when I was kid. I thought it was the stupidest thing ever. They see each other one time and suddenly they’re ready to off themselves because they are so in love. But then came Baz Luhrman’s version. Updated and with some really great actors. And not a Keanu Reeve in sight. Yeah it was an overblown spectacle but damn it Claire Danes wasn’t awesome.
6 – Pretty Woman: The only romantic comedy you’ll see on this folks. A hooker with a heart of gold falls for a rich dude. I saw this when I was about seven and fell in love with Richard Geere and wanted Julia Roberts hair. As I get older and watch it again I realize how lame the plot is, but because of Julia Roberts I keep watching it.
5 – Band Wagon: While most boys grew up with John Wayne and westerns I grew up with Fred Astaire and Stephen Segal movies. Fred Astaire was one of those guys I could watch and enjoy whatever he did. One of my favorite film of his was Band Wagon, released in 1953. The music was awesome, the dancing was really good and its neat to watch it and see how much the musical has changed. The film is about a man trying to get a production to Broadway and worrying that because he’s older, he doesn’t have it in him anymore to keep performing. I really don’t have much to say about this one, so here’s some singing triplets!
4 – A Chorus Line: Yes, another musical! Kind of a theme with me. But this one has Terrence Mann! I love Terrence Mann. Oh and Michael Douglas is in it. But whatever. Its all very 80’s and I must admit, the dialogue gets pretty dicey. But come on, it’s a musical. And Terrence Mann.
3 – A League of their Own: I like horror movies, I like manly action films where the plot is thinner than Phil Spector’s hairline, but the one thing I’ve never understood were sports movies. I like sports, but watching some thrilling story about how some dude overcame obstacles to hit ball into a hoop or a puck into, well whatever you hit a puck into, never interested me. But there is one sports movie that I enjoyed and of course, it’s the girly version, A League of their Own. Its based on a true story about how a woman’s professional team was put together during World War 2. I don’t know what it is about this movie, it might be Geena Davis, or Tom Hanks, or the score, but I enjoy it. Plus its women proving they can do something besides cook or clean so it wins in that regard. If you haven’t seen it you should check it out. Its on youtube.
2 – Little Women: I blame Gabriel Byrnes for this one. I’m talking about the remake that was released in the 90’s. Back before Wyona Ryder went on her ‘crime wave’ and back before Christian Bale had his massive fuck you ramble, they had this little movie about sisters living in a war torn America. Wyonana played the main character Jo, trying to prove that she could make it in the man’s world of writing. Very girly and very sisterly.
1 – The Hours: I had a lot of trouble picking the number one. On the one hand, I love Rent, but I have so many musicals on this list I needed something else. The Hours is based on novel, based on another novel by Virginia Woolf. It tells the story of three woman and how they spend a day. No seriously, that’s the plot. And yet, despite that, it still manages to tell a story and have some of the finest actresses in the business.
So that’s my list. As you may have noticed, there aren’t really any romantic comedies on the list. I hate those. And why, you may ask, is the notebook not on the list? I’ve never seen it. Sorry. Never peaked my interest.
Now back to my gore films! So much more safety in those.