If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Ok. This is something I writen in a hour as a writing exercise. It's ment to be mestup, dark, trippy and... well... silly so I hope you guys know what are you geting into beafore reading it. Be honest with your opinions and
“CYRUS MAKES A FRIEND”
Cyrus opened his eyes one more time and gaze on the sun above him. It was nun already and the clouds finally went away after a very rainy morning. Cyrus felted the wet grass under his arms and legs which had a odd charm which only somebody with a mind as widely opened as Cyrus could honestly appreciate in it’s full potential. It was another night he spent in he park but at this point he couldn’t care less. He still felt a bit heavy-eyed but rather then go back to sleep, he decided to contemplative on all the recent things that happened in his life and in lives of all people around him and delude himself a little bit more that the thing in fact may get better.
Spill.com wasn’t the same since Korey left but to be honest, nobody blame him. The romantic side of Korey was always he core of his personality sadly it become harder and harder for him to express after he got ban from each and every Strip-club in Austin. Things turn for the worse after all local pimps complained about Korey to the police making almost impossible for him to get a live hooker. Then again they know better then to deal with the likes of him.
Those where some difficult times for Korey. The man simply couldn’t help it. He was who he was, and it become even harder for him to hide his depression during the podcast recordings to the point “Korey Cryman” become a new nickname all the Spill trolls used to mock him in the comments sections. But it was no laughing matter for poor Korey. He tried to be brave and prove to himself and world around that he can spent his life without having as much sex as he use to but sadly the worse was yet to come. During the a live LET’S DO THIS on March 17’th 2014 Korey’s mind finally snapped leading to a unmentioned incident which coast live of his crew member Goatsy. The government was forced to take quick actions and very soon a paper forbidding Korey to have sexual intercourse in any shape of form was sing. Nobody was sure what happened to Korey since that day but according to Uncle Popcorn he is started a new life in the deepest part of the woods away from the evils of civilization.
Cyrus as a well know naturally was the one who got to take care of Doctor Doom and so far he got great life in his apartment. Cyrus would often spent evenings sitting on the windows and pet Doctor Doom softly and softly while his favorite music did play in the background. He would some times wave to Harris and Cat as they went to the playground with their four handsome sons. Much like Korey they both left the site but without any screaming. At first they try to have good relations with the LEOG and their youngest handsome son was named after Co-Host 3000. Sadly as the times went by Harris become more snobbish and snobbish. But who could blame him/. “Doctor Nerdlove” was the hottest show on television since “My Little Pony” fifth season and he felt it would it would be bad for his reputations to hang out with common internet reviewers.
– Here you are! – yelled a familiar voice and Cyrus quickly turnover his head in fear. It was Leon. He was still on the site but since he change a lot. Not only had to replace Korey on “Let’s do this”, “The Loading Bar” and the Spill.com latest Opera reviewing show “Now that’s classic!” but he become responsible for site finances as well. Sadly as the seasons changed he become only more and more corrupted.
– I hope you remember we have a review recording in a hour – said Leon and put big cigar in mouth – Friedberg and Seltzer just got me a new car so I hope you will remember to gave their latest movie a “Better then sex” ranking at minimum…
– Ok – reply Cyrus and shock his sad head – I’m just worry about Co-Host, you know? It’s been two night’s since his mysterious disappearance…
– Don’t worry about him kid – Leon pat Cyrus in the head and simile while huff some smoke slowly – I bet something much important came up and he had to live town for a while…
– I still think it was wrong of you – Cyrus reply – You shouldn’t yell at him after he gave that “Smurfs 5’ movie a “Fuck you” . Just become you pay him to make it a full price….
– He was an idealistic fool! – Leon look at Cyrus in anger – A fool who couldn’t see a opportunity when it was in front of his face! A type of a fool I once was and…
– You know I was thinking about the old days – reply Cyrus as he picked a small white flower and looked at the beautiful drops of water that where dropping from it’s leaves – Remember when Spill.com wasn’t about selling out? Remember when…
– Do you remember a single day from the last couple of months I didn’t punch you in the stomach? – ask Leon who’s patience was getting shorter and shorter – Because you just keep reminding me why it I can’t remember a single one!
– I’m Sorry… – sight poor Cyrus as he let go the flower from his hand.
– That’s better – Leon throw away his cigar as he walk away – But remember kid! I own you!
– Yes, I know – whimper Cyrus still regretting the day he sign that Spill.com contract.
– I want to see you in the recording studio in 20 minutes – order Leon and give Cyrus one last glance – And by the way, do something about that left hand of yours! It’s discussing… – he add and went away lighting yet another cigar.
Poor, poor Cyrus. He sit down on the bench and started crying about his situation. He didn’t had a single friend he could tell about his feelings and emotions. Korey was gone, Co-Host was gone and Leon was a completely different person. He’s whole life become recording podcasts and getting drunk. He couldn’t even get back to his house since after Doctor Doom got his own podcast on Spill.com he quickly became as corrupted as Leon and if there was one thing Cyrus couldn’t stand about cat’s is the sight of a corrupted fat cat. Who would suspect an apocalyptic future will suck so badly? Luckily Cyrus mange to retain the childlike innocents by the magic of reading comic books which while helped him from becoming a greedy jerk didn’t helped the fact he was getting more lonely and lonely.
He sometimes suspected that all this loneliness might screw with his mind and drive him insane but for the moment he only felt a bad tummy eke he got from eating way too much candy. Cyrus you see loved eating candy. Sometimes even twice a day! But sadly it sometimes lead to bad, bad consequences. Yesterday Cyrus eat in fact an entire pocket of various colorful sweets, just moment before he decided to cut of his hand after which he decided to go asleep on the warm park grass. Now, you can’t blame Cyrus for having a meal minutes before he decided to went asleep. Nobody is perfect (even Cyrus) and everybody have habits (even Cyrus)
Cyrus tried to not think about his poor tummy and instead he attempt to remind himself why exactly he cut off his hand and how he could taken advantage of this situation.
– I just hope some mouse didn’t crawl inside of my arm and got stock – thought Cyrus out loud getting a bit serious for a moment – It would be hard to get it out…
– Now, now. That would be just silly – said a deep voice.
– Who said that? – Cyrus look around but there was nobody around him – Who the fuck are you? – he add with concern.
– Look down! – said a voice and so Cyrus did what he was told. Thanks to Leon he was used to doing so.
It was a small mouse! A small white mouse! A small white mouse playing next to his feet.
– I heard what you just said – said the Mouse – How you hope a mouse wouldn’t crawl into your wound and get stock. You know what that tells about you? It tells you have a good heart!
– Thank you! – reply Cyrus who got a warm filling inside – It’s delightful surprise to hear a complement from somebody like you. I feel much better about myself.
– I hope so! – said the mouse – That in fact was my intention.
– How clever – nod Cyrus and then he got the most brilliant idea he head since he wok up – Little mouse – he said bashfully – would you like to become my new friend?
– Yes. Yes I would – reply the mouse – However you must promise me one thing!
– Anything! – Cyrus bow to the mouse – Anything my little mouse friend! You named it!
The mouse put a hand into his pocket and pull out a golden key shining like no treasure Cyrus seen before.
– You must take this key – said the mouse – It’s to a looked door in my castle. You must promise me you shall never open it. It’s forbidden!
– Ok – reply Cyrus and pat the little mouse on the hand.
He felt this may be beginning of a new era for him, and who know? Maybe it will be a happy one.
By. Mackie Kur