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Movie Review: 2012.
2012
Directed by Roland EmmerichStarring: John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Running Time: 158 Mins
Genre: Adventure | Action
"You were warned, we told you it was a Roland Emmerich film. Did you listen?"
If only life was like a Roland Emmerich film, boy i would be mightly annoyed! That’s right, he’s back and armed with even bigger weapons of mass destruction pitting mother nature itself against mankind; and asking us to pay up for a film we’ve seen several times before. 2012 is everything you would expect from a Roland Emmerich film who, in my opinion, is quickly becoming the new Michael Bay. It’s got cheesy one liners, big explosions and some of the most atrocious dialogue you’ll see all year! If that sits we’ll with you then sit back, hold tight and enjoy 2 hours of sensational special effects. If recycled material can’t hold your attention for long then seeing this film, would be disastrous. If this is the way the world ends then I’ll be checking myself out before 2012.
In between the explosions and quakes you sometimes hear snatches of the script, and then wish you hadn't. Calling it cookie cutter generic trash is a drastic understatement. This is nothing more than been there, done that material and if you’re going in with the mindset for a great brooding storyline then you will be sorely disappointed. The movie takes some serious liberties with its mythos diving into theory that are neither developed or even mildly believable. An underdevelopment in story mirrors a serious lack of depth of character, which in turn leaves to a state of disconnect with the protagonist. Do we really care if John Cusack and his kids make it to live another day; we might if Emmerich wasn’t at the helm. As it stands the characters are so underdeveloped and downright irritating that you will most likely clap at their ultimate demise. Not to mention, dragging the weak script down further lies some serious character flaws developing around the third act. I refuse to ruin it for you but a certain character makes a brash decision that is completely against any logical, feasible state of mind and is use to simply move to impish plot further into oblivion.
Disaster movie maven Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow) crafts this apocalyptic sci-fi thriller following the prophecy stated by the ancient Mayan calendar, which says that the world will come to an end on December 21, 2012. When a global cataclysm thrusts the world into chaos, divorced writer and father Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) joins the race to ensure that humankind is not completely wiped out. Chiwetel Ejiofor, Danny Glover, Amanda Peet, Thandie Newton, and Oliver Platt round out the cast of this end-of-the-world thriller co-scripted by the director and his 10,000 B.C. writer/composer, Harald Kloser.
Emmerich’s direction is weak and standard, it’s nothing more than long, drawn-out stretches of dreadful exposition punctuated by some of the most explosive action of the year. It’s a worrying combination of the downright exceptional and the atrocious and Emmerich is constantly juggling the two. This makes the overall experience feel clunky and at times a chore to watch. The main problem facing 2012’s direction is the absurd notion of making the experience two and a half hours long. Half of that may be tolerable, the dialogue may not feel quite as stilted but as it stand 2012 is a lengthy, tedious, dreary experience that will have you begging to meet your making long before the final curtain draws. If I knew the end of the world would have been this boring, I wouldn’t have bothered. Call me bias, I’ve never been a fan of Emmerich. Even his critically acclaimed epic “Independence Day” is something I found bloated and self indulged, I’m not a fan, I doubt I ever will be.
Acting is, all over the place, some actors hit all the right notes and tones delivering a convincing performance, home grown Chiwetel Ejiofor leading at the front, while others, Protagonist John Cusack act as if their sleepwalking through their roles. It’s understandable; I mean if you were cast to star in a Roland Emmerich movie would you take it seriously? I doubt it. Still, for what it’s worth the acting isn’t drastic, the main niggles comes from some whining supporting cast. It’s not technically up to scratch but for a film so poorly put together, the acting comes off as average, nothing more, nothing less.
If you though this review was all doom and gloom be happy to know that 2012 does have some redeeming qualities. Simply put, visually it’s a stunner on many levels, the amount of detail and realism put into every effect is pulled off with the highest conviction. One set piece in particular reigns as one of my personal favourites; let’s just say Yellowstone volcano makes for some impressive fireworks. And the audio end 2012 hold up nicely, the sheer volume at any one time never fails to impress and visually the package is near perfect, the only tarnish i could complain about it the fact that the first half of the film is where the moneys is really at, both of the most exciting set pieces happen before we even enter the second act and everything that follows pales in comparison. It’s not much of a criticism but a mere blemish on what is otherwise a fantastic looking movie.
Verdict: 2012 is a Roland Emmerich movie, so that means the world collapses while actors try to find a safe place to speak their inane dialogue. The impressive visual package cant rescue this disaster from being any more than a generic, paint by number Roland Emmerich movie. The plot is frivolous and almost interchangeable from “The Day After Tomorrow” and the direction is shockingly abysmal! If this really is the way the world ends, you can count me out. If you feel like you've seen all this genre has to offer, save your ten dollars and take comfort that you're probably right.
Story: 2.3
Direction: 3.4
Acting: 5.0
Presentation: 8.2
Overall: 4.8/10
Comment
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Comment by DeMarco Wynne on November 17, 2009 at 12:47am - I wanted the blond and Gordon to live in the end. Damn. And damn Roland for being such a pussy for not showing the destruction of Mecca, like he destroyed every other holy site. Other than that, definitely matinee fare.
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Comment by Cranky Old Dude on November 16, 2009 at 11:38pm - Saw this flick today. CGI was over the top. But the plot holes and fractured time lines really damaged the movie. Hey, last time I checked, las Vegas was only a few hundred miles south of Yellowstone, yet the east coast was getting slamed with ash. Oh yeah, the biggie, everybody's cell phone still fucking worked!!! The Russian's girl friend dying, what a waste of a good blond. The dog should have bought the farm. How can the back of the RV get hit and still have it's wheels. Isn't that where the gas tank and motor is? But still it was funny in places (not sure it was always meant to be that way.). What a wonderful holiday season movie. But it really does need to be seen on a big screen to turely enjoy some of the CGI work. That really was well done. Watching at home on anything under say 46 '' would be a waste of rental $$.
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Comment by The Adventures of Stain-Boy on November 15, 2009 at 6:49am - Thanks for the good comments guys, and The Jean Genie i would go as far to give it some ol Bullshit....i would go Rental because there are some entertaining moments.
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Comment by Gabriel on November 15, 2009 at 5:18am - Nice review. I usually don't bother with fan reviews, but yours are actually good reads. It sucks you didn't like Independence Day because that's one of my all time favorite blockbuster films haha. But, to each his own.
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Comment by rocco burntire on November 15, 2009 at 2:16am -
they should have shown everyone die...the arks at the end fail and get destroyed ..the whole human race wiped out. ...that is the ultimate disaster movie that no film maker would be able to duplicate it would be a legendary film ...but no they have no fucking balls ..all they can do is pad it with shit dialogue, bad acting, flat as a fucking pancake characters and recycled bullshit movie cliches ..........this movie sucked satans pulsating cock in hell!!!!!!!!!
and one more thing if the asian continent shifted 1500 miles...wouldnt the whole land mass have been just shredded and fucked up? ...but no no because the arks were there it must have just gently slid those 1500 miles and not caused any damage to anything on the surface......fucking completely stupid plot hole..god I hate that kinda of shit in films...at least wil smith didnt make an appearance in the movie..I would have seriously clawed off someones lower jaw off if he did
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Comment by Jean Genie on November 14, 2009 at 6:42pm - Its a dumb film, sure. But the problem I see with you reviewing this is you've never liked Roland or any of his films to start with. That kinda puts you in a biased position from the get go. Spill crew give it a matinee, - it sounds like your rating is ' Some ol' Bullshit'. Would that be right?
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Comment by The Adventures of Stain-Boy on November 14, 2009 at 12:46pm
- Yeah I noticed that, which is one of the reasons I didn’t like the day after tomorrow either cause of all these characters having to get in contact with their loved ones and if they cut all of that out it would have been a much better film. That said, I’m criticising the movie a lot....the first 2 action set pieces were amazing....the Yellowstone explosion was one of the best things I’ve seen all year.
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Comment by el foggy on November 14, 2009 at 12:40pm - fair enough, it was very daft, my huge problem with it is that it decidly gives everyone on the planet a subplot, and has to make them all tie into each other, making the film pointlessly near to the 3 hour mark.
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Comment by The Adventures of Stain-Boy on November 14, 2009 at 12:21pm
- Honestly, that was so funny that I forgave it for that, cause I was almost in stitches laughing at that point XD
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Comment by el foggy on November 14, 2009 at 12:19pm
- you fogot to mention that there is a ****ing chiwawa tight rope walking in this film, That litterally sucks anykind of realisem this film managed to maintain, I thought the film would be at least plauseable.
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