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By now the the 2012 movie JOHN CARTER has phased in like a deceased Jedi right next to Waterworld and Ishtar as one of the biggest most expensive flops in the history of cinema. In truth, the movie isn't terrible. It fits somewhere between "Not bad" and "Meh". But let's be honest, $350 million is too much money to spend on anything that's even the least bit "meh".
Thing is, so many of the problems with the movie could've been easily forgiven if there was just something in it that was cool or weird or...even exciting. Some "Wow-factor" it needed or maybe the right director who had a vision. Maybe someone like Kerry Conran, the director of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.
Yeah, it's an odd thing for me to say seeing as I don't even like Sky Captain but back when Conran was a hopeful for being at the helm of John Carter he put together a video pitch for the job. Check out the John Carter movie you could've had:
Ah well *sigh*. I guess there's no point in dwelling in the hypothetical.
Besides, if you want to feel better about the current John Carter you can always go back to the 2009 version titled "A Princess of Mars" starring ex-soap opera star Antonio Sabato Jr. and ex-pornstar Traci Lords.
Thinking I'm lying? See for yourself:
Comment
Comment by Lt.DAN on March 12, 2012 at 11:04pm In a few years time they will reboot it.
Comment by Dr.BathroomMD on March 12, 2012 at 10:51pm Ya...your John Carter review REALLY disappointed me guys. I don't get why this movie didn't connect with more critics(they're totally split down the middle). People really dig the movie. For good reason. It was great.
Comment by Alexander Orbanic on March 12, 2012 at 10:50pm Dam that looks good.
Comment by Lastsuperjedi on March 12, 2012 at 10:50pm I think whenever people say a movie is blah, they seem to make it feel like it was bad. This movie was not a great movie, but it was good (in my own opinion, at least). It had great action, good actors, and very good special effects. Even though I did like the film, it did, of coarse, have problems. Their were at least three major problems with the film:
1) The script really needed to be trimmed. I just felt like there was too much going on in the story. Part of me actually wants to cut the Edgar Rice part, but cutting that kind of takes away a unique part to the script.
2) If your going to go alien, go alien. Part of the problem has to do with me being familure with paintings of Dejah Thoris, but my favorite paintings of her are the ones that have her with reddish/pinkish skin. The design of her species was incredibly boring. They should of just made it simple on themselves and painted all of her species with red/pink skin, instead of sun tanned skin with red tattoos. Kind of a small problem, but really got on my nerves.
3) The ending was very awkward. The battle felt like it was the ending; everything else just felt like it just prolonged the movie. I love the twist of the movie, but it still kind of felt awkward.
Very sad this film isn't making enough money (at least Hollywood wise), not just because we owe this story our appreciation (as being the father to Star Wars, Star Trek, etc.), but because disney will probably be more carful to do stories of this type.
Very sad.
Comment by Santos on March 12, 2012 at 10:24pm Granted, "everybody" was actually Harry Knowles.
Comment by Santos on March 12, 2012 at 10:22pm Ah, Kerry Conran. I remember when everybody thought he was going to be the next big thing until Sky Captain flopped. Too bad because I found that movie to be fun.
Comment by Clocker910 on March 12, 2012 at 10:08pm I would pay to see the movie that Conran looked like he was setting up
Comment by Liquid on March 12, 2012 at 10:03pm For a march release 30 million isn't bad. If this were summer time anything short of 50 or so would be a huge disappointment. Plus, given how many negative critical reviews it's received ("lukewarm" is saying it nicely) this isn't a bad start at all. Spring break has hardly ever been a major weekend for movie releases given that most people travel and try to do other things they don't get to do with their average time off.
Anyway, in reference to the Conran presentation above I like the scale of the civilizations the concept artists put together. Also, the different creatures look more menacing. With that said I don't mind the John Carter film we have in theatres right now.
Comment by Ghosttimer on March 12, 2012 at 9:52pm 
@Nikhil - A $250 million dollar film (and that's just production costs, not even marketing and advertising costs) that opens up on Spring Break weekend with NO opposing films and only earns $30.6 million US? That right there my friend is the very definition of a financial flop. That's the kind of thing that makes studio execs bolt upright in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
Outside the US, it's only made $70mil which is a tad bit better, but still not good. Considering film box offices work on a defined half-life while they're in theaters (and considering the lukewarm critical reception)... Disney will be extremely lucky if they can make their production costs back and walk away with only their ad money lost. It does not look good for the film. I'm going to go on a limb and guess that it will likely limp it's way to around $200 million total gross before packing up shop and hoping for better numbers on Blu-ray and DVD. Especially if you take into consideration that Disney will probably pull their ad spots (to save what money they can) and that come Friday there will be a new slew of highly anticipated movies to shuffle it off the marquee.
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