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Leon's WTF Theater presents: "THE OTHER JOHN CARTER MOVIE".
By now the the 2012 movie JOHN CARTER has phased in like a deceased Jedi right next to Waterworld and Ishtar as one of the biggest most expensive flops in the history of cinema. In truth, the movie isn't terrible. It fits somewhere between "Not bad" and "Meh". But let's be honest, $350 million is too much money to spend on anything that's even the least bit "meh".
Thing is, so many of the problems with the movie could've been easily forgiven if there was just something in it that was cool or weird or...even exciting. Some "Wow-factor" it needed or maybe the right director who had a vision. Maybe someone like Kerry Conran, the director of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.
Yeah, it's an odd thing for me to say seeing as I don't even like Sky Captain but back when Conran was a hopeful for being at the helm of John Carter he put together a video pitch for the job. Check out the John Carter movie you could've had:
Ah well *sigh*. I guess there's no point in dwelling in the hypothetical.
Besides, if you want to feel better about the current John Carter you can always go back to the 2009 version titled "A Princess of Mars" starring ex-soap opera star Antonio Sabato Jr. and ex-pornstar Traci Lords.
Thinking I'm lying? See for yourself:
Comment
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Comment by Swamp Music Players SMP on March 13, 2012 at 4:53am -
"A Princess of Mars"....had its moments where one hoped would reach levels such as "Beast Master" or just Sorceress (1982)...but Sabato seemed like an absolute non-actor walked onto the set and drained whatever life was in the movie away. I remember guys in rubber suits emoting better and trying to carry scenes with that loaf. Even Traci, Queen of the B's couldn't pull it out of a tailspin..........Spoiler.....don't accept a bowl of tasty fluid from these aliens
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Comment by A Nerd Named Derkasnake on March 13, 2012 at 4:19am -
I don't like that look Leon's giving me on the title card.
I need an adult. ;~;
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Comment by Travis Pickle on March 13, 2012 at 3:34am -
John Carter of Meh's
;(
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Comment by HNIC (Head Namekian In Charge) on March 13, 2012 at 3:02am -
I didnt realize that WTF theater was something you have done before, please keep the posts coming Leon. Also, could you post a link of the audiobook you were talking about in ACOCO? Thank you man
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Comment by Sean Price on March 13, 2012 at 2:56am -
ASYLUMMMM!!!!!!! Even their advertisements looks like crap (that's pretty bad, no need to check this out). Man, it seems like I'm hearing of more pornstars getting into films. Maybe they should since they already have an audience. If it fails, at least if other people find out this person does porn their porn career will skyrocket.
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Comment by Dr. Detfink on March 13, 2012 at 2:45am -
Yes! WTF theater returns...
When you think about a lot of the John Carter art...yea, I can see why they went this route. And in some ways, it's like how the 80s Flash Gordon went total camp (but was better executed).
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Comment by CPW2007 on March 13, 2012 at 1:57am -
WOAH WHAT? Who the hell allowed this to not get made? Damn pimp of a mouse.
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Comment by Ross Slick on March 13, 2012 at 1:44am -
Asylum...immediate pause.
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Comment by Crosshair on March 13, 2012 at 1:22am -
Well once (if) Disney drops the rights to John Carter, it could still happen...Maybe.
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Comment by KoreyasKevinSorbo on March 13, 2012 at 1:21am -
Leon you are my brutha from another muth'a.
Keep on keepin' on bud
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