If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Justified Julius posted a status
nkWhiteStar posted a status
ObjectiveCyd posted a blog post
Hector Fernando Andrade JR. II posted a statusSo when last we left our intrepid heroes, they had just left Africa, about to move on to denude the next country on their list. For those of you keeping score at home, that's four countries, with approximately eight drinks, in the span of an hour and a half.
That's not good, is it?
With eight countries - and sixteen drinks - to go, will they make it out alive? Will they do something horribly embarrassing that will haunt them later in life and cause problems in their social and professional lives?
...
Wait. That's why you're really reading this, isn't it? You're just waiting around for the moment we manage to completely humiliate ourselves, aren't you?
Bastards.
That's ok. So are we.
Anyway. ONWARD! TO GLORY!
GERMANY:
You think Germany, you think "beer". Which, as far as we're concerned, is just another goddamn ethnic stereotype and you should really be ashamed of yourselves.
Well, maybe they're not so bad.
Still, any idiot can go to Germany (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) and hoist a few pilsner's. We're not just any idiot. So we're going to do schnapps.
CAT: Why am I drinking this again?
HARRIS: Because there's no way I'm drinking goddamn Jägermeister.
CAT: Ah, Jägermeister. Mother always said you were no good for me.
HARRIS: She did?
CAT: No, wait. I said that.
Meanwhile I'm drinking Rumplemintz. I may soon regret this.
HARRIS: Does Germany seem oddly empty to you?
CAT: I think they're all in France.
It is worth noting here: We started this venture on mostly empty stomachs. Only one thing to do. PRETZELS.
And also: more shots
.
Pro Tip: If you're buying the pretzels, you have the droit de seigneur. Which is to say, I get half that pretzel. Dammit.
THUG LIFE!
Comment
Comment by BallZac$ on January 29, 2011 at 4:18am
Comment by Cat on January 25, 2011 at 4:19pm
Comment by Louisiana Jones on January 25, 2011 at 3:29pm
Comment by Harris on January 25, 2011 at 12:00pm @Louisiana Jones: I would say to start with, avoid the sweet stuff. This means novelty crap lika Avalanche, Aftershock, Pucker, most shots, etc. Most of those are for getting drunk quickly for people who actually hate the taste of alcohol. They can also sneak up on you pretty damn quick and leave you not only drunker than you intended to be but the sugars are gonna make the hangover the next day a stone cold bitch.
And if it's a drink that originated or derived from Sex and the City, then you may as well just shoot yourself now.
Easy drinks for the first timer: vodka tonics, gin and tonics, gin rickeys, vodka soda... notice a trend here? If you're going to drink spirits you want the good stuff. Cheap booze is only for mixing; good booze is for savoring.
(Incidentally, this is why people hate tequila. They drink shit like Jose Cuervo, get sick on it, never touch the stuff again. If they drank something good, like Milagro Silver, they could sip it straight with a slice of lime, no need for the salt etc.)
Your best bet is to go to a bar - and not on a busy night or at happy hour - get to know the bartender, and start asking for recommendations. And if you can find a good *cocktail* bar, you can start trying classic mixed drinks like Old Fashioned, Manhattans, Sidecars, Sazeracs, etc.
Comment by Cat on January 25, 2011 at 9:40am @Louisiana Jones: Nobody Important and Fungusmonkey's recommendations are pretty serious stuff... for someone who hasn't had a drink, they would probably be a shock to your palate, especially if you're drinking them straight. I'm not a fan of whiskey (though I like to have a Scotch with my Dad every now and then), and straight vodka can be pretty tough, unless its flavored vodka. (I, personally, order flavored vodka, neat, chilled when I'm out drinking, because a lot of places mix their drinks pretty weak, and I got sick of paying for glasses of tonic water. But I don't do it in shots.)
What types of flavors do you like? Do you like super-sweet stuff? Citrusy stuff? Beer? Wine? Personally, I don't like beer. I've had many different types, and it's just not my thing. I'm a huge fan of red wine, and I like white wine okay.
Drinks are all a matter of personal taste, and of style. If you want to be James Bond, you're gonna have to drink martinis. :P
Might I suggest a gin and tonic? It's more on the citrusy side of things, and you'll always look cool when you order one.
Comment by Nobody Important on January 23, 2011 at 9:23pm @Louisiana Jones. I'll tell you what Fungusmonkey recommended me: Redbreast 12 year old (whiskey) and Monopolowa (vodka).
That was one interesting blog post. I need to try that if I ever go to Disney World. Although, I'd probably be smashed after three countries seeing as I weigh as much as an anorexic girl.
Comment by Louisiana Jones on January 22, 2011 at 1:19pm
Comment by Ewok Princess on January 22, 2011 at 10:41am
Comment by Brennen on January 20, 2011 at 12:20am
Comment by Big Chris_Compton Animator on January 19, 2011 at 10:14pm © 2013 Created by The Spill Crew.
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