If it's crap ... We'll tell you
"Bruce Leroy" Green (Taimak) is focused on attaining spiritual perfection through martial arts, like his hero Bruce Lee, but his family thinks he's crazy and Sho'nuff (Shogun of Harlem) (Julius Carry) is gunning for him as perhaps the one person who can oppose him. Meanwhile sleazy producer Eddie Arkadian (Christopher Murney) is trying to get an awful pop video played on Laura Charles's (Vanity) super popular dance show Seventh Heaven, but his kidnapping scheme goes awry when Bruce Leroy steps into protect her.
Holy shit the mid-eighties. Hollywood was so coked up and crazy that they threw money at some of the most sublime overproduced pop garbage that we will EVER see. Movies like the Running Man, and Big Trouble in Little China, and The Last Dragon actually got made. They spent millions of dollars to make this movie. How mind blowing is that? A studio spent millions of dollars to make what is essentially Black Dynamite... like 15 years before they could hope anyone would get the joke. Now, while Hollywood might've lost their collective minds putting money into this junk, I have to believe that the people making it knew EXACTLY what they were doing, because The Last Dragon is fucking amazing. My first time watching it I transitioned quickly from "This movie is going to be awful" to "This movie is the best thing ever." It is incredibly funny, and not on accident. Absolutely everything from the break dancers in the movie theater, to Leroy's wise-talkin' little brother with the one fat white friend, to the Faith Prince singing Test Drive with headlights on her boobs, to that one scene where Taimak has to stop acting Chinese and act "black" to get by the Chinese guys who act black too, was completely self aware. Juilus Carry (best known among nerds as Lord Bowler from the Adventures of Brisco County Jr.) steals this film as Sho'nuff (Shogun of Harlem.) Every second he's on screen is solid gold. It's such a hilarious and satisfying film that I DEFY you to not love it.
The action is stiff and hokey but not awful... it's exactly what it should be. Especially the end sequence. Or the... oh I forgot about the scene when he's dressed as a ninja! WTF was that! So awesome.
It blows my mind that this movie got made. It's absolutely brilliant, and will possibly only get better as time goes on.
As an added bonus, here's a picture I drew of Sho'nuff :)
Upcoming requests include Lone Wolf and Cub Series, Beast Cops, Seven Swords, Battle of Wits, Breaking News, Tae Guk GI, and Assembly