J-Phoen in the mother grabbin' house ya'll!

Actor Joaquin Phoenix has left the world of acting to pursue his one true love; being a white rapper. The former actor turned urban champion of the streets had this to say:

"After all the years of reading scripts and reading lines, this is my chance to do something straight from the heart and put it out there," he said. And why hip-hop? "When I was young I liked punk rock music but then I discovered rap. I love the storytelling aspect of hip-hop."

So, the prophecy has come to pass... A fallen roman emperor has reached for a mic to lay it down old school... As long as he can accurately convey the hardship of not having his Evian™ at exactly 10 degrees below room temperature, he may actually connect with the average hip hop fan. Uneducated presumptions to the quality of J-Phoen's skillz aside, I can imagine that his attention to detail is likely sliding in conjunction with his grooming and hygiene...

Joaquin pictured here, with his brother-in-law, Casey Affleck, and another supposed "rapper."

Friday was the first time that J-Phoen took the stage in public, and by many witness accounts, threw his hands way up in the air, ay, ayer. We will all be able to witness this in a documentary being filmed by Casey that is being touted as a descent into madness! Er, I mean a journey from film to music... which is kind of odd, if you take time out to consider that a man who claims to have left movies to make music, is starring in a movie about a guy that leaves movies to make music.

Oscar nominee? That guy that hangs out down by the bridge? Nope. It's America's newest Rap star.


"You hold a very special place in my heart," the Oscar-nominated actor told the crowd near the end of the performance.

I, for one, look forward to the pop charts being dominated by Joaquin Phoenix. I also look forward to his inevitable return to film...

Photoshop Credit to rhodabear from Fark.com

He'll be watching!

Legitimate news story here.


UPDATE:
Oh god... it's worse than I imagined...