I Love You, Beth Cooper Movie Review

You know when you go to a movie when it's empty and think, "Yes!!! Peace and quiet!" only to see a group of preteen dumbasses who laugh really hard whenever someone says "shit" or "bitch" enter the theatre? That was my experience while watching I Love You, Beth Cooper. And trust me, you DON'T want to see a movie as bad as this with anyone with an IQ below 70.

Right off the bat, you hate the lead character. He starts his valedictorian speech by proclaiming his love to the head cheerleader, Beth Cooper, which you sort of admire him for. But then, he goes on to insult pretty much everyone who looks like they can beat him up (or at least have the power to order someone to), including Beth Cooper's coked-up army-guy boyfriend. What a dumbass.

Then, there's Beth Cooper, who at the start of the movie is the stereotypical stuck-up cheerleader that doesn't like anyone who doesn't have at least 18,000 muscles. But by the end of the movie, she's a crazy psycho who will suck a cashier's face for a 6-pack.... AND STILL THE MAIN CHARACTER FALLS FOR HER!

The only character I loved was the main character's best friend, played by Jack T. Carpenter. I think he really made the movie and most of his dialogue was actually funny.

The first half of the movie relied on "Hey, this situation is awkard. LAUGH AT IT!" The only problem was that none of it was funny. In fact, I think it was actually TOO awkward for me, and that's strange because I'm an awkward kid. Ask my friends. There's this one scene where Paul Rust and Jack T. Carpenter mention something about being retarded, and Beth Cooper mentions that her brother was retarded. This results in Rust and Carpenter laughing their heads off for some reason. It took me a while to realize that the movie wanted me to laugh right then and there.

I'm complaining about this movie a lot, but like most of the other summer movies I didn't like, this one NARROWLY escapes a SOME OLE' BULLSHIT rating. I'll admit it, there were some genuinely charming moments between Hayden Panettiere and Paul Rust, and, I don't know, I guess the music choices were okay.

I'm still trying to decide what was more painful, sitting through the movie, or sitting through it with obnoxious preteens. Honestly, I still wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone, but Jack T. Carpenter made this movie tolerable. Low...

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