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How To Be Like Carlyle: A Tutorial in 12 Easy-To-Follow Steps
Everybody loves Carlyle, but what does it take to be like him? What can one do to reach the awesomeness that he has achieved? Can it even be done? Yes, it can.
In a moment, you will be treated to twelve sure fire ways to help you achieve Carlyle's win. Just follow the steps below and, soon, you too will be just like Carlyle.
1. Be male. Only men can be like Carlyle. (A sex change is recommended for women.)
2. Smoke. A lot. Unless you naturally achieved a raspy voice during puberty or got hit in the throat with a football, this is the best way to sound like Carlyle. You'll probably die of cancer, but hey, thems the breaks.
3. Watch lots of movies.
4. Love lots of movies.
5. Know people who make lots of movies.
6. Get a job as a film critic.
7. Love all Hollywood blockbusters that everyone else hates.
8. If you see a film that you're not very fond of, don't just dislike it. FUCKING HATE IT!
9. Try to find political propaganda in children's entertainment
10. Make gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches.
11. Say "fuck". A lot.
12. Nobody can talk about "The Dark Knight", but you.
And that's it. That's how to be like Carlye. Feel free to follow these steps in any order that you see fit, but I guarantee that they will work. Being like Carlyle has never been easier. Start today.
In a moment, you will be treated to twelve sure fire ways to help you achieve Carlyle's win. Just follow the steps below and, soon, you too will be just like Carlyle.
1. Be male. Only men can be like Carlyle. (A sex change is recommended for women.)
2. Smoke. A lot. Unless you naturally achieved a raspy voice during puberty or got hit in the throat with a football, this is the best way to sound like Carlyle. You'll probably die of cancer, but hey, thems the breaks.
3. Watch lots of movies.
4. Love lots of movies.
5. Know people who make lots of movies.
6. Get a job as a film critic.
7. Love all Hollywood blockbusters that everyone else hates.
8. If you see a film that you're not very fond of, don't just dislike it. FUCKING HATE IT!
9. Try to find political propaganda in children's entertainment
10. Make gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches.
11. Say "fuck". A lot.
12. Nobody can talk about "The Dark Knight", but you.
And that's it. That's how to be like Carlye. Feel free to follow these steps in any order that you see fit, but I guarantee that they will work. Being like Carlyle has never been easier. Start today.
Tags: 12, a, be, carlyle, cheese, dark, easy, follow, gourmet, grilled
Comment
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Comment by Santos on March 17, 2009 at 1:48pm - I can't believe I forgot "grow a goatee"!
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Comment by Anthony on March 14, 2009 at 1:43am - Just joshin, man. I know. I am all too familiar with this beauty. All... too... familiar. *smirk*
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Comment by Santos on March 14, 2009 at 1:28am
- @Anthony: No, Freida Pinto is hot. I'm just expressing my appreciation.
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Comment by Anthony on March 14, 2009 at 1:02am
- Santos, you're so hot. {according to your image}
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Comment by RYAN CORDERMAN on March 13, 2009 at 10:26pm -
dude i do like all this shit already
IM GONNA GROW UP TO BE JUST LIKE CARLYLE YAY!!!!!!
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Comment by Santos on March 13, 2009 at 5:59pm
- Thanks, Guy Behind The Guy. I love that name, btw.
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Comment by Santos on March 13, 2009 at 5:55pm
- @Trane90: That's actually what step 9 is refering to. I just wrote it in a different way.
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Comment by Trane90 on March 13, 2009 at 5:19pm -
And also this one.
You must be able to find some communist or fascist undertones in animated movies.
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Comment by Guy Behind The Guy (Age 86) on March 13, 2009 at 4:54pm - I find Caryle to be the smartest guy on the team. Nothing against the other guys, but when you hesr him on ACCO you know he knows his shit.I'm sure you feel the same way. Hell you took time out to write a blog on him. I can do all of those but smoke, I can't do that. So football to the throat? lol Good blog.
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