How i ended up seeing X-Men Origins: Wolverine and what i thought about it

I haven’t had shit to do since the semester ended and I am stuck in temporary limbo till the end of the month when I can actually make some moves. You know what really sucks about limbo? Its BORING.
3 days of watching House reruns and erratically moving from one corner of my bed to the other lead me to my breaking point. So, I broke my commitment not to date for a while and called up a fella. Retrospect has taught me that wasn’t a good idea but that’s neither here nor there. The point is I went to the movies. I wanted to see Star Trek because I have been looking forward to is since I saw the trailer a while back. But apparently the chic at the ticket booth has ears of a small cave lizard because she gave me tickets to X-Men Origins: Wolverine instead. Now I feel I should note that from the moment we stepped out of the car I had a one track mind; this mind was all “Star Trek, Star Trek, Spock, Captain Kirk, Green bitches, Star Trek, wow the mall’s empty this time of night, Star Trek”. My date’s mind was probably something like “tits! I like those”. Which is why it wasn’t until we got to the concession stand that I thought to ask him what time the tickets say and we learned we had tickets to see Wolverine not Star Trek. My mind briefly distracted by the allure of free over priced movie theater food, I deiced to not collapse in devastation on go see Wolverine without complaint. Especially since he was so sweetly willing to pay for something I would have gladly gotten from the dollar store and would never (and I mean NEVER) pay for myself.
So I watched the dun dun dun (read it out loud, its more dramatic that way) X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
So this is a review of wolverine from someone who has no emotional investment in Wolverine (actually I don’t even like him) and has never read an X-men comic.
Its not necessary to get into what the film is about. I mean its pretty self explanatory, its right there in the title “Origins”. What does that mean? It means is all about how Wolverine became Wolverine why he is such a crotchety old man, why a raging psychopath (Sabretooth) is constantly fucking with him, how he got a metal skeleton, etc.

The movies has gotten some good reviews, but mostly bad. Honestly, i don't think the film was that terrible.
Just like in all the other X-men films Jackmen did a perfectly competent job playing Wolverine. Even the nagging urge to sing "i didnt see the reader" wasn't distracting enough to make his role as Wolverine unbelievable.
Gambit was in this movie. Now some of you fellas may not be aware of this but Gambit remains one of the few fictional characters that women actually lust after. Yes the same way men creepily find there pants getting tighter for Jessica Rabbit the ladies get all liquidy for the Cajun sensation. If you’re a lady and at this moment you find you hands slowly moving towards you nether regions in anticipation of this film then I have some bad news. Not only does the guy playing Gambit not have the extremely tick Cajun accent Gambit is famous for but he is barely in the film. The term crow-bared comes to mind, there is a strange “why is he even here?” feeling surrounding every scene (and trust me there aren’t many) he is in. Deadpool was the one character I was looking forward to seeing. He did have a brief moment to show is awesomeness and subsequent badassness, but it was far from satisfying.
But, this movie is about Wolverine so those characters don’t matter all that much, right?
The movie wasn’t boring. It was your typical action movie you get to watch people fight, watch shit blow up, there is even a car motorcycle chase. There is a built in interest in learning Wolverine's background that pulls you through the film. But the actual story line left something to be desired, and by desired I mean coherency. I found myself saying “why?" and “that doesn’t make any sense” one to many times.
You know, the more i write about this film the more i find myself agreeing with its not so glamorous reviews. I cant think of any good reasons to pay to see it but if your curiosity is getting the best of you a rental wont have you feeling like you were ripped off.

[i saw movie and wrote this review before Next Day Air just never got around to finishing it until now for anyone who may be confused by my other blog]