Movie: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Real American Heroes. When All Else Fails, They Don't
It’s the same Hasbro toy-based cartoon from your over-commercialized childhood brought to life on the big screen just as you’ve been begging for it! Well, maybe not exactly the same…The relationships between the characters aren’t exactly the same and this time the ‘Joes’ and Cobra Commandos actually hit the targets they aim for…but otherwise, it’s the same sensibilities you loved from the 80s G. I. Joe cartoons.
When the Baroness (Sienna Miller) steals a weapon of mass destruction, her ex-boyfriend, Duke (Channing Tatum) and his obligatory African-American best friend, Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) are recruited by Gen. Hawk (Dennis Quaid) to join his army of supermodels in their secret *wink* underground base where they play videogames and laser tag to train for missions to kick-ass, wear Halo suits, destroy lots of private property and national monuments and if there’s still time, stop Destro (Christopher Eccleston) from taking over the world.
…That’s sounds pretty much like the old cartoon, right?
I would be remiss as a movie critic if didn’t begin by telling you that this G.I. Joe movie is dumb. D-U-M-B. Also the acting is pretty bad and there are plenty of places where the special effects are laughable. It reminded me more of a non-satirical version of Team America: World Police than anything else.
…Now that I got that out of the way, I can confess that I still kinda enjoyed it. What can I tell you? Transformers 2 beat me down and showed me just how crass, muddled and just plain awful a movie based on a toy line can be. G.I.Joe is stupid, sure, but it plays within the boundaries it sets. It’s fun, moves at a quick pace and seems genuinely concerned with pleasing its audience or at least not be boring or insulting in an obnoxious way.
I’m not a fan of Stephen Sommer’s movies (The Mummy), but this is probably my favorite of his. And while I’m already damning it with faint praise (it doesn’t deserve more than that), I’ll just leave with an ad quote: “If you only see one movie based on a cartoon based on a toy, G.I.Joe should be the one.”
Though I couldn’t imagine watching it more than once.
RATING: Rental (high)
What did the rest of the crew think?