I'm not an uber-anime freak. If anything, I'm an artist who happens to like a good storyline and something pretty to look at. Every time I try to see if there's anything worth while to check out, I have to scrounge through 90% porn and idiot-nonsense to find something of substance and then I still don't feel satisfied. And so, that is why I am sitting here today, witting a damn review that appeals to a very small part of the crazy nerd audience. In a way, I've done this before on a blog. But that wasn't on a movie website (wait, why am a writing about shows on a movie website? Oh, whatever).

First off, I'll start by saying that I do not keep up with the newest shows (mostly because a lot of what's out there is absolute crap). If I completely watch a show, either I am extremely bored or there is some redeeming feature whether it be an interesting storyline, good production value or the tried and true method of plastering boobs the size of small planets on a girl with the face of a five-year old (note: I'm actually a girl so the fact that boobs amuse me probably fulfills many of your erotic fantasies). Also, a rating system seems a little redundant to me because we all have our own guilty pleasures (I guess mine are those absolutely horrible shows with the boobs, but at least I acknowledge that), so I'll tell you the pros and the cons of the series I have watched because god knows how much I hate some shows but people still keep on obsessing over them. Anywhos, let's do this.

Serial Experiments Lain

I'll admit, this anime is freaking old! Not as old as Dragon Ball, but this was back in the day when the only anime series that came over were the really successful ones. Lain is definitely no exception. A girl named Chisa commits suicide for an unknown reason to the world, but a few days after her death, classmates receive an email from her saying that she's in the Wired (which is pretty much internet 4.0). The "story" follows a girl named Lain, who actually believes the email and doesn't think it's a prank like the rest of the girls. But then, we learn of the complicated nature between this world and the Wired.

Maybe I shouldn't have started with this? It's very serious and strange, not for those who just want to veg out in front of their computer. But what this did do is remind me how I got into anime and weird cult movies and creepy shit in general. Despite the age, the artwork is actually quite beautiful. A lot of shows just rely on bright colors or fancy CG to give us eye candy, but the more mature, yet colorful and trippy style was one of the things that amazed me. The story is another thing that stood out. Not everything is explained and laid out in front of you, rather it's very open ended which sounds strange but it's really refreshing for those in need of originality.

The characters themselves really aren't that interesting, except for Lain and her...whatever you want to call it. There's also some things that I don't exactly understand or don't feel are necessarily to whatever point they're trying to make. It's definitely not for everyone with the whole open ended story, but if you have friends who are fans of weird trippy movies and not necessarily anime, this is something you can definitely show them.

Rosario + Vampire

Here we go kids, a nice typical show with romantic drama for girls and bouncing boobies for boys. Tsukune is an average boy, as all of them are in these kinds of shows, that didn't make it to the high school that he was supposed to. To his fortune though, his parents met up with a priest or something that recommended Yokai Acadamy to them, so good little Tsukune gets to have an education. But if the creepy-ass bus driver and blood red lake didn't say enough, the school isn't really meant for humans...at all (they're apparently supposed to die if they get inside the barrier). But the bus doesn't come until a month so our protagonist must make due and try not to get killed.

This is one of those shows that has lots of girls of every variety, with brightly colored hair and wearing skankishly short skirts. If you want panty shots, you've got 'em (it makes me wonder why the hell they even wear skirts). The main girl, Moka, has a dual personality with a bad-ass vampire. The show also has a wee bit of action in there because of said dual personality vampire (Tsukune's only useful thing is that he's the only one that unlocks her by removing Moka's rosario (it's a necklace, not her flower)). It's kinda funny and wacky and usually doesn't get boring.

Rosario + Vampire is an extremely generic show however. All of the characters are extremely one dimensional, you have all the stereotypes (dumb innocent girl, big boobed skank who apparently is saving herself for the man of her dreams, little kid, weird hot girl and in season 2, angry girl). The only different thing about it is that these girls are vampires and demons and witches. The other thing that completely annoyed me are the overly used scenes of the two main characters looking at each other and saying their names. Oh and let's face it, Tsukune would be dead by the first episode if he was a real human and we're not even talking about the before-mentioned magic barrier that kills all. Average, I would say.

Toradora

This here is the story of two misunderstood teens who live next door to each other and become close while trying to fulfill each other's love wish. And when I mean misunderstood, I don't mean emo. The guy has a delinquent face but is actually very sweet and caring while the girl gets very angry but that's actually a nervous twitch. The story is pretty basic with some skewed details, so it really isn't worth explaining.

One thing I do like is how each character actually is multi-dimensional (not just the mains, but the supporters too) and in a way, the story builds. Most of the characters are genuinely likable when you get to know them and they're also realistic. The show is also funny too, slightly in the crazy sense but they're things that make sense with the characters and are somewhat relational. The art's nice, I mean, the show doesn't focus on it but the scenes are very pretty. I also like the theme songs but that's too much of a personal taste for anyone to consider.

As for the bad, the very end has some things that don't need to be there and some things just don't make sense. It is about a bunch of stupid high school kids so don't expect too much, plus they're Japanese so apparently they have no sense of logic whatsoever. At least each episode is entertaining, that's all I'm gonna say.

Detroit Metal City

Oh my, this show :D! Obviously, the name comes from the song Detroit Rock City by Kizz, and very much like them, these boys preform in costume. However, Kiss ain't got nothing on them. This show follows the main member of the band, who actually is a very nice guy that enjoys pop music and Amelie and true love. However instead of being a folksy song writer, he's in a death metal band that sings about such lovely things as rape and penises. Whenever this guy puts on his Krauser costume, he becomes the spawn of Satan, able to play guitar with his teeth and say Rape 10 times a second!

Now I LOVE Death Metal, so obviously I'm going to like this show. Whenever I'm feeling down, an episode of Detroit Metal City and its glory always seems to do the trick. This is random and funny as all hell. I personally like Krauser but that manager, well she's a curse-spewing crowd favorite that loves talking about how metal makes her wet. Everything is hilarious, if not ridiculously offensive.

Obviously, this show is not for everyone, especially if you're under the age of 16 or don't like crazy death metal. The music itself is so/so. I like j-metal (forget the official name) but it's not as good as Dir en Grey or whatever. Really, there isn't anything more to say.

The Ending

If any of you lovely people have recommendations for me to test, I would love to hear from you and judge them with my iron fist of fury. I'll try to grow in my critical ability and if I find something good, I'll tell you all :D.