If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Summer is once again upon us, and it looks full of more extravagant CGI, explosions and epic battles than ever before!
And saying Iron Man 2 is out on Thursday in the UK, I think I better get my predictions down before it Kick starts, so here's the plan. I'm going to do 4 parts for May, June, July, and guess what, August laying down how I think the films is going to be and what rating I predict it will receive from me, and most of you guys. Instead of doing a top 10 of films, I think this will be better.
And I'm working with a strict rule, no Better Than Sex or Fuck You ratings, as much as I would love to give some of the films planned for release one of those ratings, I believe it's unfair to give a Fuck You, and Better than Sex ratings have to surprise you to receive that rating, you can't expect a film to be Better than Sex before you go it.
I'm going work down in order of release, so lets start with the one I mentioned before...
Iron Man 2
Now if you're not excited for Iron Man 2, then you clearly not going to like anything of the summer. The opening summer superhero movie is usually a defining moment of the summer, it usually will show you, if you should go to the theatre over the lovely weather. If the first film is any to go by, this is surely worth your time. The action is pumped up to a whole new level, the effects look awesome. It just looks great, if you pick one film to watch this month, I would make sure it's this one!
Prediction: FULL PRICE!!!
Now this has potential, but it also looks very bland. Now I may get a bit of hell fire blazed upon me for this one, but this really doesn't look like my thing, I can enjoy huge swords and axes epic's, but this really doesn't appeal to me. I wish I could put my finger on it, but I really can't. I know it doesn't look bad, I think it isn't going to be bad. But there is that one part of me, when I think or see something about this film, where my insides go funny, knowing that this film SHOULD be a big deal, but isn't. It just struggles to keep my attention on screen. I'm dreading writing a review on this one, because I won't have anything to say on the movie.
Shrek Forever After
And the award for worst title of the year goes to...
I'm sorry, remember when Shrek was actually good. When your spine didn't tingle of the very mention of Shrek. And it's now come to this, Shrek Forever After, I guess Dreamworks worked out that the Cash Cow goes Moo, for minimum amount of effort. This thing will make a ton of cash no matter how bad it is. BUT, call me crazy, but there's a little glimmer of How to train your Dragon hope within this. Only a little glimmer, but this could be a revival of the series, after all, nothing could be as bad as Shrek the Third.
And if it isn't, we can all be glad that this is the last one, right...RIGHT...
The film is, supposedly, alright. I haven't seen any of the SNL skits this is based on, but, apparently, they're funny. So here's hoping this is at least entertaining. I can't really say much about the film except it looks like a film full of Hits and Misses, with what I'm guessing, most the hits are in the trailer. We'll see. It reminds me of Zoolander, which is a good thing as I like Zoolander.
Prediction: (Low) MATINEE!
Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
In a sea of god awful films, a film that doesn't do much, but succeeds in what it attempts, can be seen as a godsend. This is Prince of Persia, a film that has only one thing going for it, it's a good Video Game adaptation. Obviously that's not saying much. But this film looks like a lot of fun nonetheless, I would say it has a Pirates of the Caribbean vibe going for it, I like that. I think it will be worth the watch.
Sex and the City 2
Title proclaims all...
Prediction: SOME OLE BULLS**T
And that concludes part 1 of my predictions, thanks for reading, if you disagree, then comment down below, and read the rest of my summer predictions that are coming soon!