Curse of the Komodo DVD Review

Curse of the Komodo

Quick Stats


-Produced by-

Sam A. Hasass
Jim Valdez
Alison Semenza
Susan Pyros
Gregory Pyros

-Directed by-
Jim Wynorski

Written by Steven Latshaw


-Partial Cast-

Tim Abell
William Langlois
Melissa Brasselle
Gail Harris
Paul Logan (oh shit)
Ted Monte
Glori-Anne Gilbert

Prelude

Why do I do this? Why must I watch movies that can be spotted a mile away as being pieces of shit? We all know that DVD gems are out there, but how come I never find them. However, I keep on going, I continue watching these pieces of shit to warm you when you’re on your way to the rental store, or in this case the bargain bin (no way in hell any rental chain would carry this). We all remember the bullet taken over the bratz review, that heroic struggle to sit through a god awful movie to warn us. It was there that Carlyle laid bleeding on the ground holding a grenade with the pin missing saying to us “Go on, I’ll take out as many as I can, just tell them I’m sorry, and that my only regret was ever answering that first Dark Knight question”. So in this heroic man’s honor I must also watch shit that will without any doubt kill me as I stab my eyes out with the corner of the DVD case.

Plot overview / spoilers

On the Island of….not named, we are shown a very large house surrounded by a fence of lasers to guard out something big, something enormous, but what is it? It’s a very badly rendered giant komodo dragon. The movie starts out as we meet the scientists stationed on the island where they were sent to test some government ideas of creating stronger and faster animals to possibly use in times of war, and perhaps even use them for the solders themselves. However one Komodo has grown to a size thought to be unreachable and has backed the team up into their home where they must take refferuge surviving as they can, praying that the fence of pretty blue light will hold off the komodo.

Meanwhile, in Las Vegas we meet Paul Logan; yes I said it, Paul Logan. Not the worst actor in the world I’ll admit, however the movies that he chooses mask his average talent making him look as if he couldn’t nail a job on Blue’s Clues. I’ll grant you that he is a soap star and they have a style of acting that is different and lends it’s self to that genre only, but why take that style anywhere else, I’ll digress. Now he is teamed up with two friends (whose names escape me at the moment) as they pull off a heist at a casino to score major bucks as they drive away and meet up with the paid transporter. The three along with the helicopter transporter begin a flight through very rough weather as they fear for their lives in the worst of flying conditions. Unable to see clearly and get to their destination safely, they land on an unknown island which, as you may have guessed is the very same island that one of Mother Nature’s creations have been given steroids.

The foursome soon realize something is up as they hear the sounds of the komodo from inside the helicopter and they try to wait it out until both the noise lets out and the storm fades away. Once the mourning comes around the pilot, who come to find out is a former military man, informs the rest that the helicopter is damaged. So the group ventures towards the inland with their big bad of money in hopes of maybe finding someone.

Soon all hell breaks loose as the four meet up with the team of scientists along with, just in case I forgot to mention the head doctor’s daughter. This will sound very bad and nasty, but she has the most obviously fake breasts ever seen on the screen. They are just so out of proportion to her body that they are just…..beautiful, and yes, you see them as she is skinny dipping in a nearby lake (which I found funny considering you’re surrounded by an ocean, why not swim there?). The two groups come together and form one large group in hopes of increasing their chances of staying alive and make their way back to the mansion with the glow stick gate to keep them safe. However the generator and motors are giving out and the fence will not stay operational for very much longer. They arm themselves and get ready as a few of them are picked off when the king komodo comes out of the darkness in all his obviously pixilated glory.

After they venture off through the jungle to get away from the monster and get to the helicopter they soon learn that once the komodo spits at you, you become, for lack of a better term, a zombie. So now things are even worse as they have former friends mutated and coming at them. After several deaths or so we are left with the pilot, the daughter, a female love interest to the head scientists who is now deceased and Paul Logan (ugh). The female love interest whose name has also been forgotten because to be honest I have lost total interest in these characters and I am just waiting for them to die, has a floppy disk that contains the secrets of the komodo experiment that the government would weather not get out.

This brings me to the sub plot of the movie, the military has decided that instead of helping the group get off of the island safely that they need to keep this experiment secret, so they plan a military strike to take out both the komodo and any survivors who may speak of what has transpired.

After the group gets to the chopper which can now be fixed all of the sudden even though it doesn’t seem anything has changed, they climb into the chopper as Paul Logan tells the pilot to wait five minutes because he has dropped his money. Meanwhile the air force is above them carpet bombing the island and I think the komodo dies I can’t be too certain I was waiting for this to end so badly.

The five minuets are up and the helicopter escapes to safety as news of the island gets to the press and the man in charge of covering up the secret decides to take his own life knowing that this will all come back to haunt him as questions will soon be asked.

My Thoughts

This move was so painful to watch, granted it is a very low budget movie trying to hard; it was just so utterly bad that I almost feel like I am half assing a review for it. It’s not me trying to be unprofessional or anything, but it is infact THAT bad. I am talking about a level of terrible that you just want to turn it off but you know one you do that, you can only judge and critique the movie to the point that you viewed it. I stuck it out but I pray that you don’t watch and go through what I had to. I have been told by a few that this is actually a sequel to another Komodo movie but I cannot find any proof that the two movies were directly connected so it may have just been a sequel in name. If you like really bad monster movies because I’ll admit there is an audience for this type of movie, by all means go for it. The rest of you need to stay as far away from this movie as possible. Just like any zombie movie, I am going to chop of the head, and burn the rest, I am going to break this DVD that I paid twenty bucks for (yeah, it was that much and I can’t for the life of me get over the fact that it was so expensive) and burn it. However if anyone out there would like my copy I will mail it to you, but do not blame me.