No cast, no crew, no money; just a script that took 3 years to finish and dogged determination to get out of this shit-hole town.


Your Room - The New Rags


WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

What? The intro?


I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE?

Don't be like that; I know you're irritable after what happened last week.


YOU FORGOT TO BUY A LOT OF SHIT!

Not my fault, the store I work in went over budget and has consequently ceased all overtime. Everybody's pissed, some because they can't get their holiday money together others because they can't make ends meet- that overtime was supposed to be my budget money. Grants are also out of the question as funding for independent film making in the UK has cornered itself into making ultra schlossy pseudo art house movies that are nothing but mutual masturbation for the producers and grantees. Given that production starts beginning(ish) of August it means the sum total of my contracted hours will have to suffice, a paltry Juan Thousand pounds, hence I'll have to adopt the BBS school of filmmaking.


WHAT'S BBS FILMMAKING?

Beg, borrow, steal.


I HEARD QUENTIN TARANTINO DOES THE LAST 2.

It’s so tempting because original works that don't involve clichés are difficult. People generally will conform to social stereotypes where given the chance to; it then stands to reason if your writing involves everybody acting within their socially accepted norms no one would want to see that movie , although I have been wrong before. There are instances when writing clichés benefits your script in terms of character definition, it only works when the stereotype is applied to the general population and not the primary or secondary cast. It can be made interesting though when a tertiary character that conforms to the formulaic architecture makes a gradual transformation to a distinctive individual. A word to the wise though- It only works properly as a device if it’s concentrated on a character that is pivotal to the plot, otherwise they come off as superfluous.


SUPERFLUOUS EH? KINDA LIKE YOUR ARTWORK?

That’s just a provisional poster for... well I haven’t decided yet.


WHAT ABOUT CASTING?

I’m still trying to contact everybody but I will probably have to go to my local acting college and rope in some of them if my primary choices fall through. Given that filming will take place in odd hours of the night and transport links are sucky after 10pm the likelihood of scoring the primary cast is minimal at best; mainly because I have yet to negotiate for filming in the 2 more difficult locations- a superstore and a fast food restaurant. Historically they only allow filming by nobodies after hours because of the volume of people in and out of the store. This plays to my advantage as it means I don’t have to secure non disclosure agreements from incidental members of the public that pass by- most of them now know that they’re entitled to something for their appearance, no matter how insignificant.


BUT YOU’VE GOT A CREW RIGHT?

Nope.


NO CAST, NO CREW, NO MONEY- HOW THIS GETTING MADE AGAIN?

Dogged determination baby.


CHEATER.

Pessimist.


PESSIMIST? I'M KEEPING IT REAL, UNLIKE YOUR DAYDREAMING ASS!

This whole thing has been one giant pain up the backpipe but given a choice between staying in this bumfuck town and being an obedient little mummy's boy or striking my own, if somewhat uncertain, path I'll choose the latter- not only because the rewards are greater but I'll have done it- something which in conversation with elderly people always comes up, usually in the form of- 'I wish I had the chance to (INSERT BACKBREAKING YET REWARDING EXPERIENCE)".


DIDN'T THE YEAR AT THE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT COUNT?

Only as backbreaking, never once did it redeem itself. I was just an angry young man, hemmed in by circumstances- if I hadn't left for greener pastures I’d have had a major meltdown like nearly everyone else who worked there I happened to run into years afterward; usually they left after an unceremonious slap in the face by their peers or clients. That shitty experience did inform my writing though, Paul Abbott the writer of the original state of play miniseries said that characters should be blend 3 people you either know or have met.


EVEN YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO WRITE A 'FAST FOOD' SCRIPT

Granted most of them are hackneyed pieces of garbage in which the term 'dude' shows up, more than is legally permitted before getting bludgeoned to death by some actual dudes. However if the setting is incidental and not essential then it melts into the background and doesn't spoil the rest of the movie for the audience. Too many times I've seen coming of age comedies that fall at the first hurdle by cornering their characters into a one specific environment and have them act out whatever limited flights of fancies the writer had on their minds at the time. The first few drafts of my own film were like that at first but I kept on writing, by doing so I wringed out all the saccharine, plasticky nonsense and have been left with a halfway decent script; although that's still debatable once I get everyone together for rehearsals and watch them cringe at the dialogue.


REHEARSALS FOR WHAT? TUMBLE WEED?