CTRL - ALT - COMMIT: The Undiscovered Country

No cast, no crew, no money; just a script that took 3 years to finish and dogged determination to get out of this shit-hole town.


*FLICKS THROUGH SCRIPT*

So?


FEELS FAMILIAR

Well, if you grew up on a steady diet of repeats that included Air Wolf, Knightrider, A-Team, Star Trek, Police Squad coupled with multiple viewings of The Naked Gun, Grosse Pointe Blank, Die Hard, Office Space AND heavily read Viking Mythology and Aesops' fables cover to cover, you'd understand.


ITS GOT NONE OF THAT IN HERE!

True, there aren't any scenes of me dressed in Medieval Nordic attire standing atop of a sentient car, parked on the roof of a hijacked skyscraper bellowing 'Welcome to the party pal!' to a destroyed BELL 222; however the themes are loosely based around each of those film experiences. If you notice each of the films I've watched and enjoyed has a character thrown headlong into an otherwise extraordinary situation- part of the fun is watching them dance around those obstacles that hinder them- both personal and professional. I don't quite have the budget to have all kinds of craziness but the essence of the story is what I am more interested in.


DAZED AND CONFUSED DIDN'T HAVE A STORY


To say it didn't have a story is to skip over the inter-weaved stories of people coming to terms with their changing environment due to their ageing- the pressures its brings and the consequences of their decisions. I admire Linklater for having the balls to make a movie that to the untrained eye can be swept aside for its apparent lack of reactive action but on closer inspection does away with superfluous stunts and focuses more on the lives of the youngsters at the heart of the film, something which many coming of age comedies completely miss the mark on.


YOU'RE BUILDING YOURSELF FOR AN UNNECESSARY FALL....

I never once said I wrote the script that would end world famine, war and debt (Bob Geldof might've), but all I've got is my script. I keep on tweaking it in my head and edit only when I'm satisfied that the final version is of value to the overall experience. I've seen how it's been done badly, when all the focus is on is doing the stereotypical things that adolescents do- without understanding that those actions aren't some sort of initiation to a club or lifestyle but rather an expression of true freedom from your banal life prior to that. The generation that is growing up in our shadow hasn't learnt what freedom is because they've been too busy being scared- either by one and other or their governance; I'm not trying to retake that lost sense of boundless possibility but rather document it- whether I'm filming the demise or revival even I don't know.


IS THIS SOME MICHAEL MOORE SHIT?!

If you mean that I'm pointing out the bullshit in front of your eyes through a series of eyebrow raising pranks- then no. However if you mean in the sense of documenting the current lunacy of a system that only engorges itself and excludes those on the fringes-then yes. The difference? One uses subtlety to convey a message of general dissatisfaction with existence by tapping into peoples lives, the other may as well be a contrived sketch show which has all the longevity of a Gastrotrich. If you’re intention is to entertain then you must at least be relevant, or you’ll be as mediocre as everything around you. Still to this day it amazes me that a decade after Spaced first aired British comedy films, with exceptions, are STILL doing the Ealing-esque bullshit that was out of date by the time Kodak had perfected colour film for mass usage. It seems nobody on this craggy rain swept outcrop has heard the quote-

"The true mark of greatness is then everything before you is obsolete and everything after you bears your mark."

Granted Spaced was its own animal with devices that hadn’t been televised before, however in stark contrast to the often bubblegum Friends which sitcom about strangers who meet by sequential coincidences still holds up as a piece of entertainment and cult classic?


FRIENDS?

GOT IT WRONG DIDN’T I?

The only possible way you could have been more wrong is holding a Captain America themed party for Vietnam Independence Day.


LIKE YOU’VE NEVER MADE A MISTAKE!

I bear my mistakes every time I put one these up, hopefully I’ll make fewer and eventually none; but a faultless performance is a while away and I can’t jeopardise this with my insecurities


LIKE MONEY?

That’s actually improving, the cancellation of overtime was short sighted misstep by my store and they’ve partially reinstated it, I’ve also put forward a proposal for my movie to the Screen West Midlands. The chances of them green lighting it are minimal but I’ll have at least made someone aware of my work whose job is arts and culture based.


I THOUGHT YOU SAID, OF FUNDING IN THE UK, QUOTE- ‘NOTHING BUT MUTUAL MASTURBATION FOR THE PRODUCERS AND GRANTEES’

True but, keeping within the analogy, if I can get at least a reach around that’ll contribute more than nothing. Their decision making process is longwinded (3 months of deliberation and a further 6 weeks after that to get final approval) however if I’m rejected it’ll just confirm everything I said.


WHATS NEXT?

I’ve got to assemble my crew and put a casting call for actors who want screen time despite no pay, filming at odd hours and putting up with the mistakes of a rookie director.


SOUNDS LIKE FUN(!)