CTRL - ALT - COMMIT: First Contact

No cast, no crew, no money; just a script that took 3 years to finish and dogged determination to get out of this shit-hole town.


WTF IS THE DOUBLE NEGATIVE FOR?

I have a crew/ cast nearly assembled, only a few tweaks to the script and I'll have my full compliment of characters.


WHAT TWEAKS?

Well I'm one guy short so I'll have to involve monozygotics to bump up the numbers; if written it properly it should be unnoticed- write it wrong and you end up with.....


OH AHNULD; YOU SO CRAZY!

He's not as insane as what I have left to do, listed here in descending order of difficulty;

1. Create and incorporate a company

2. Secure location permissions

3. Get use of an editing suite

4. Somehow involve 2 minor celebrities whose comic stylings mirror the scripts intentions

5. Persuade Land Rover to lend me a £55,000 car with no collateral

6. Assemble an elite team of commandos and storm the Kinder Surprise factory for all the good toys- I'm sick of those little fucking statues


PROVIDED ALL THOSE THINGS HAPPEN, WHAT'S NEXT?

Rehearsals, in casual attire, but with a camera trained on them and a microphone hovering over them just so they get comfortable with their presence and don't act self conscious except where the script calls for it. Overdoing the diction can halt an independent movie in its tracks and suck audience members out of the experience, no matter how good/bad/ugly the script is.

The whole point of an independent feature is never to really make any tangible money from it, as licensing rights and distribution in theaters and DVD have to be signed off to get it into the fringes of the mainstream domain and perhaps if you're lucky the mainstream itself (the movie being described as a sleeper hit whereas sometimes it's just pure luck coupled with clever and concise advertising). The whole raison d'etre is to show how much you can do with very little in resources, hopefully doing enough to impress someone in the higher echelons of a company that can start your career and move you into the professional arena. Doing it in one hit is itself a massive longshot but when compared to networking your way into a position of power it can do more to build your reputation, as those that choose networking are insulated from their more unwise decisions whereas you're on the sharp end of things and so have only your aptitude to steer you clear of trouble. Get it right you join the boys club: Get it wrong you scrub their toilets.


IF THAT'S THE CASE, WHY POUR SO MUCH HEART INTO IT?

It shows in subtle ways that you really didn't care about the feature and only wanted to make a film that amounts to little more than a circle jerk for you and your buddies if you don't have a passion for it. Making a film is straight forward enough- buy a camera, assemble some actors and shoot dialogue. To refine each of those steps and make it into something worthwhile takes effort, however for it to truly flourish it has to be a labour of love that you're willing to have ravaged and berated at every stage in its existence- from you writing it, to you actors ridiculing your quips/quotes and finally editing out those pieces of celluloid that you so painstakingly prepared but just weren't good enough. I am fully aware that this will be one of, if not the most draining, thankless, irritating and at times ape-shit-crazy experiences of my life but I'd rather give it a shot and have it blow up in my face than have never gone for the gold at all.


GORRAM ROMANTIC!



*WEEPS*

There, there. If it makes you feel any better its gonna take 2 months pay for me to afford the music score alone, added to the fact that actors expenses will probably amount to £600 means that I'll have to take yet more abuse at my friendly-neighborhood megacorporation.


*SNIFFS* YOUR SUFFERING IS KINDA FUNNY

Perhaps but maybe I'm not alone. What surprised me the most about the casting call was just how many of them said yes without hesitation. I had expected to encounter some resistance as people may shy away from being on camera without any real fiscal renumeration....


STOP USING THEMS BIG WORDS LIKE FANCY CITY FOLK!

Fine! Pay, the initial interest of the first few I asked made me more courageous and now all I have left to find is the only female cast member and the afore mentioned performers. This does lead to a conundrum- if the professionals ask for pay, will the amateurs be willing to sacrifice their money and still come despite the odd filming hours and lack of amenities? It's like a shitty real life Kobayashi Maru- If I don't involve them will anybody want to see it, even if I squeeze BAFTA worthy performances out the remaining cast?


HOW THE HELL IS THAT EVEN CLOSE TO A KOBAYASHI MARU?

Step off Bitch! I just saw Star trek a few days ago and I'm still energised from witnessing the rebirth of a franchise as well as a bad ass action film. I know that unwise spending can jepordise what fragile budget there is but I thought it necessary to watch the film not just as a piece of entertainment but to actually deconstruct the scenes. This was difficult however because JJ Abrams and his team did such a convincing job of sucking you into the universe they create that trying to analyse it becomes nearly impossible. I did however walk away from the film with a few guidelines-

1. Make sure your sound is as high fidelity as possible, actors delivering lines clearly make for a better viewing experience without echoing or background noises.

2. Lighting shouldn't blind your audience but can be used to enhance the drama and add focus onto character so they don't just blend in.

3. Don't be afraid to experiment with your camera angles as it can lead to a boring scene if they're kept static, despite good dialogue.

4. Music should be used only when it serves a purpose, not when typical convention says it should. If it heightens a scene where music is involved then use it; if it becomes incidental then it can weaken a scene by being distracting.

5. Have fun. Keeping a serious set can make your scene better if its called for in the script but the chances of anybody wanting to work with you again are slim to none. Don't be played for a chump, but don't do it to others either.


BOOOOORIIIIIING

Oh GTFO-