If it's crap... We'll tell you
"Crank: High Voltage" the dvd review of the worst movie of 2009
A man sits in a psychiatrists office. He explains to his shrink his fear of death; while working as a paramedic a man held a gun to his face and he’s been afraid to die ever since. The psychiatrist makes some sexual advances at him and finally convinces him that there is nothing to be a afraid of. He gets up and proclaims his new love of live; and that’s when a bullet tears through the room and penetrates his head, splattering red matter all over the psychiatrist.
That is just one example of the sadism at work in “Crank: High Voltage”, a movie that revels in violence, misogyny and racism; and in my book that is not entertainment.
I really enjoyed the original “Crank”, it was fun and inventive film. It had style, it had character, it had a premise, and it had a developed story; Crank 2 has none of those things.
When hit-man Chev Chelios fell from that helicopter in the first “Crank” he actually survived. His remains were taken by Chinese gangsters who decided to remove his very powerful heart and replace it with an electric battery. Now Chev has to get it back. Doc Miles informs that in order to survive this time he needs to feed off of electricity. So in scene after scene Chev goes looking for exposition that will move the plot forward which leads to a gruesome fight with psychotic gangsters -all minorities- and then he electrocutes himself; rinse, wash, repeat for an unbearable ninety six minutes.
While storming through Los Angeles Chev encounters a multitude of vicious gang members, all of them some kind of minority. There’s the Chinese gang that starts this whole mess; during one horrific scene Chev locates one of their brothels where he encounters a horrible Asian stereotype played by Bai Ling. If you thought that hooker from “Full Metal Jacket” was offensive you don’t know what offensive is. This delightful character beats one of her customers until his crotch bleeds. There’s also another Chinese stereotype played by David Carradine in his last role; it’s almost as embarrassing as his unfortunate death.
And then there is the Latino gang. The lead being a Tony Mantana wanna-be who is just as violent and sadistic as any other character in this film. He orders one of his men to remove his own nipples which he willingly does in graphic fashion.
Chevs girl friend Eve -played by Amy Smart- also returns. Since Chev has been gone for a few weeks she decides to become a stripper, yet she covers her nipples with tape. Maybe that was her job in the first film, I don’t remember. A stripper is one of the few jobs a woman in this film can have. There are also hookers, a gang of porn stars on strike, that slutty psychiatrist, and an old lady who Chev molests for no reason. When recalling her traumatic incident she says that Chev looks a lot like Jason Statham. Laugh it up. This comes before a sex scene on a race track that has a close up shot of a horses penis and I should probably stop right there, I don’t want to spoil the so called “fun”.
The film is shot like a bad music video, a really bad music video. The spastic camera violently shakes as if Muhammad Ali was operating it. Each shot of action is about a half second long giving no sense of what the hell is going on. This goes on while the horrible hard rock sound track plays what seems like the same song over and over again. “Crank 1” was providing stimulation for the senses, “Crank 2” is trying to make the audience go deaf and blind.
This kind of thing would have worked in the seventies when film makers were broke, desperate and willing to do anything to get people to see their movies. Now, there are new advances in film making technology and story telling and Hollywood has the resources to use them. There is no excuse for a movie like this.
Crank 2 has been called pure exploitation. I guess you could call it an exploitation of sexism, violence and racism but it is not: it is a celebration of those things. Please do yourself a favor and save your eyes, brain and ears for better movies, which there are a lot of.
Comment
-
Comment by Matthew G. on November 11, 2009 at 6:52pm - You're comparing 2001 and this bull shit? Wow....
-
Comment by The Leo of Costa Rica on November 10, 2009 at 10:32pm -
Hey, give this guy a break! its not like he said that 2001: A Space Oddisey sucked too!....
....Oh wait!
-
Comment by MaxJayJay on October 6, 2009 at 12:52pm - Ohhh but there is a difference between strippers who are empowering and strippers who are just strippers. Crank 2 had a strong female image with woman who are even in the most lowest form can even fight with guns or fists. Transformers 2 just had woman who stood there and look pretty. Thats all. And that is the thing about people of different cultures who are gangsters. Its a gangster movie! Of course you got to have gangsters who torture and mutilate people! And they were portrayed as dumb or ill-mannered. Use ya noggin. Transformers 2 - was their any POINT to have dumb ghettoish stereotypes in a movie about freakin giant robots?! The animated movie never ever had them and thats why its better than those stupid Transformers movie! You don't know what you're talking about....
-
Comment by Zog on October 3, 2009 at 10:52am - Clearly the idiot that wrote this has no clue what an exploitation movie is: a movie that is INTENTIONALLY stupid, ridiculous, and over the top in terms of sex and violence. It's basically almost a comedy. I honestly believe that there is no better movie to just sit back with some buddies, have a few beers, and laugh your ass off with than Crank 2.
-
Comment by Matthew G. on September 17, 2009 at 8:05pm
- Uh, no. All the women in Crank 2 are strippers and whores. That's a lot more sexist than Transformers 2. All the minorities are psycho gangsters who torture and mutilate people. Violence, thats a given but its poorly shot, edited and played for cheap laughs.
-
Comment by MaxJayJay on September 17, 2009 at 12:40pm
-
Crank 2
Story - Simple, no nonsense, straight to the point
Sexism - Not really if you have strong female figures, in this case, you have strippers with guns, Bai Ling's character. Girls that actually do something.
Racial S - None of the races that are featured were portrayed as dumb or ill-mannered, but of strong and well-thought of.
Violence - Well it is a gangster story, you got to have senseless violence, and this is Crank, so you gonna have HUGE amount of violence
Loud - Music is f*ckin awesome!
Transformers 2
Story - Messed Up and completely arrogant,
Sexism - Females just stood there
Racial S - Those two freakin ghetto bots! Portrayed with ill towards black. plus its not handle and written well
Violence/Action - Poorly done, too up close, can't see a damn thing
Loudness - Eck!
Just missed the point... Totally miss the point..
-
Comment by Matthew G. on September 17, 2009 at 10:39am
-
Crank 1 had some really cool camera and editing tricks. Crank 2 just does that shaky cam crap. How is Crank 2 any better than Transformers 2?
No story, check!
Sexism, check!
Racial stereotyping, check!
Tons of senseless violence, check!
Lots of loud, incomprehensible action, check!
Yep, same movie except that Crank 2 is worse.
-
Comment by MaxJayJay on September 17, 2009 at 2:25am
-
Its obvious you missed the point.
Crank 2 has no shame in being totally different from any movies, including its predecessor. It still retains the same style from Crank 1 while amping up the illogical sense, filling it with so many crazy stuff. Its a comic book/video game/exposition movie and I'm glad my brain, eyes and ears were not spared by this movie. Its a wild and exhilarating experience. I should save my senses from others like Transformers 2.
-
Comment by Matthew G. on September 9, 2009 at 12:54am
- its obvious you didn't read my review
-
Comment by Cheshire Cat on September 9, 2009 at 12:15am - Dude, why so serious? How can you like the first one, and hate this one? It was just cranking(no pun intended) the insane level of the first movie to 11, and made it better, imo. It's obvious in your review that you didn't get it at all, and it was simply in your face.
Follow Spill on Twitter!
Latest Activity
Pretty straight forward. If you like Doc Who, join this group.
My first impressions of the Avatar trailer.
Whether you like her acting, or are just a horny guy/gay girl (please), you belong here as long as you're a Megan Fox fan
The Name of the group says it all.
A British priest who advised vulnerable people to shoplift defended his remarks on Tuesday, arguing that those abandoned by society often had no choice but to turn to crime.
Father Tim Jones, a parish priest in York, northern England, caused a medi…
A group for fans of the film Let the Right One In.
Photos
Music
© 2009 Created by The Spill Crew
You need to be a member of The Spill.com Movie Community to add comments!
Join this Ning Network