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Broad of the Dead: It's a Monster! (Part Two)

Last week, I broke down my favorite new school monsters (1980s to now). This week, I’m covering all bases and going back to my monster roots and talking about great creatures from previous features (the 1930s through the 1970s). After all, we can’t have the new without the old! Here are my top ten favorites. Tell me yours, too!

10. The Killer Shrews

One of the movies to make MST3K’s (or Mystery Science Theater 3000, for you numbskulls) show, this movie is a classic. It’s hysterically cheesy as far as plot and acting go, but it’s still a good one. Would you like a movie about giant man-eating rats? Yes, please!

9. How to Make a Monster

As much as the 2001 TV movie left me in stitches, I can’t help but love the original. The monsters from the first movie (mostly the one of Pete in make-up) are so damn scary that I can’t look at the picture for too long without feeling slightly paranoid and/or nauseous. It doesn’t hurt that the movie is pretty decent too.

8. Island of Lost Souls

Fuck The Island of Dr. Moreau with Val Kilmer and Marlo Brando (which is one of the only movies to this day to anger me after seeing it). I never thought I’d live to see the day when Brando looked absolutely fucking ridiculous in a movie, but thanks to the original (not the 1977 version), I can forget about the new one. Nothing is better than Charles Laughton and Bela Lugosi in the same movie. NOTHING!

7. The Little Shop of Horrors

The plot is creative as hell and it gives us one of the first memorable performances of our most beloved Jack Nicholson. Wilbur Force was definitely a sign of what was to come since HE LOVES PAIN (and being crazy)! I love the remake and even tried out for the musical when we did it in high school (for the part of Audrey II, the man-eating plant).

6. The Mummy

As much as I think the new Mummy series (okay, the first two) are a bunch of schlocky fun, nothing beats the original. Im-ho-tep is way more terrifying as an actual person versus a CGI-ed creature. When it comes to creature features, Boris Karloff just knows his shit, which is why most, if not all, of the characters he portrayed haven’t been matched since.

5. The Giant Gila Monster

I’m not going to lie. This movie is downright cheesy, but a personal favorite. Not only is there a giant Gila monster attacking some Podunk down in the U.S. where Gila monsters don’t live, but there’s a musician in the movie who sings the most ridiculous, unfitting song to be put into a horror/sci-fi film. Trust me when I say that the song along is worth the laughs.

4. King Kong

Peter Jackson can make King Kong look as realistic as he wants, but I will always find the original King Kong more terrifying. The Lost World was one of the first books/films to introduce the idea of giant prehistoric creatures, but King Kong took the film to the next level by showing the viewers first hand what these monsters could be capable of if they came into contact with humans. Now that’s scary!

3. The Beast of Yucca Flats

I’m sure I’ll get some flak for this, but I don’t care because I’m borderline-obsessed with this movie. Tor Johnson, who’s claim to fame was Plan 9 from Outer Space (as well as being a wrestler), plays a Russian scientist who is transformed into a beast that terrorizes a small town. As much as it bums me out that this was Johnson’s last movie, it’s a real doozy!

2. Creature from the Black Lagoon

The movie is well over fifty years old, yet The Gill Man still gives me the heebie jeebies. There is something so human-like about him but the fact that he’s out for blood regardless of circumstances will forever make him one of the most loved and hated movie monsters in history. Thanks, Hollywood, for giving me another reason to avoid the Amazon.

1. Frankenstein

Not only is this a perfect monster movie, it’s a nearly flawless movie in general (from lighting and acting to the script and music). This movie really puts you through the motions when it comes to Frankenstein’s monster, often leaving you torn between loving him and hating him, but in the end…he’s just a monster who doesn’t know any better!

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Comment by Pedro Sanchez on March 9, 2009 at 7:27pm: Awesome! I like the picks, and I love the Creature from the Black Lagoon. The Gila monster one I vaguely remember, but I love Arizona, so it should be funny to see.

Comment by Alkunkunka on March 4, 2009 at 8:37pm: I am now very interesting in the Killer Shrews movie!! Glad King Kong made it and also Frankenstein. I haven't seen the Creature form the black Lagoon, and I'm sure I'm missing out. And I own the original Little Shops of Horror. What happens to the people is kinda freaky! And I love Nicholson in it!

Comment by Samuel on March 4, 2009 at 3:02pm: Oh my god that killer shrews poster brought back so many memories.

Comment by Lord Galvatron on March 4, 2009 at 12:40am: I really want to see someone make a remake of Black lagoon don't ask me why it just seems like an interesting idea

Comment by AceofOpus on March 3, 2009 at 10:51pm: The Giant Gilla Monster was actually the first horror film I saw.
Also this song is something else
That should not be in the movie.

Comment by fffire3 on March 3, 2009 at 10:31pm: beast of yucca flats is also a film that MST3K has riffed.

Comment by NightFire on March 3, 2009 at 10:26pm: The Killer Shrews !! I remenber when I saw it as a special in the Animal Planet. Along with The Giant Gila Monster , the latter I believe was my favorite because it took place in Texas (I think and still believe)

Comment by Q on March 3, 2009 at 10:25pm: Again, I'm the surprised; I thought I was the only resident Beast of YF fan.

Tessa, since when did you become so cool...?

Comment by Mike M. on March 3, 2009 at 10:17pm: Thank you, someone finally have the Black Lagoon's most famous resident some respect.

As for what I would add...I always liked the giant ants in THEM.
The Aliens from War of the Worlds (way ahead of their time)
I know Godzilla was on your last List, but I think adding him and Rodan would be cool
And just for cheesy nostalgic value, the Blob.

Also, I'm sure someones mentioned it, but the Frankenstein movie is from the 1930's, not the 1950's (as the first paragraph of this article suggests) If we're going back to the 1930's, I'm going to also throw the Bride of Frankenstein in there, for her crazy hair if nothing else.

Comment by Itchinader on March 3, 2009 at 8:56pm: What about Patty McCormack from The Bad Seed.
I know she's not scary looking, but she's a true monster on the inside.