Alright, this came up after I saw the Jonah Hex trailer on TV and thought, hey, I guess this means Megan Fox is his... sidekick? Well that's weird.
Is she?
I mean, she is like Marion is to Indiana Jones. But maybe that does mean that she is.
So then I thought, what makes a sidekick?
And then I re-watched a certain film that made the list here and decided to make this list, by the by, top sidekicks:


10.) Short Round

Not gonna lie, I hated Short Round. I hated the whole movie. And as much as I accept that Indiana Jones 4 was a bad movie, the second was worse. My least favorite. With the additions of Short Round, vaudeville-esque slapstick (AH! RANDOM FOREST CREATURES FOR SEVERAL MINUTES) and things I found less likely than, let's say, living through a nuked fridge (the lifeboat landing was proven by Mythbusters. Fine. It was still dumb). And this character just made the whole thing that much worse. But he made a huge Pop Culture dent. Who hasn't heard of him? And at least he was an okay character, I'm just glad they got rid of him.

9.) KITT

I'm a sucker for cheesy '80s films. And once Knight Rider was remade, I just had to pray they got rid of it soon. Well, thank God no new movies or shows have been made of '80s shows successful because of how ridiculous they are.
Yea, and I was addicted to the A-Team. This pisses me off.
But that's for another day, KITT is awesome, and so is the Hoff, so 'nuff said, on to thirteen.

8.) Zeus Carver

Alright, first of all it is Sam Jackson, so ten points. It's a Die Hard movie, so another ten points. And it's a GOOD Die Hard movie, so ten points. Die Hard 3 is the only one I think is on par with number one, probably because it was directed by the same man, John McTiernan. And it was a great one. So actionpacked and so funny, plus Sam Jackson.

7.) Dana Scully

Yea, X-Files is awesome. So is Gillian Anderson. I love sci-fi/paranormal stuff. So this was always fun for me. That's all.

6.) Walter

I'm a huge Coen Brothers fan. And of course, The Big Lebowski is one of my favorite comedies. But that's not all. Walter isn't just fat guy comic relief, he's not just the angry friend, he's not anything you'd expect. He's actually a very emotionally shown character. He's not mentally stable, and as much as it is funny because of how he acts, but he really is an emotion driven person. When I saw him and the Dude together when the Dude was angry, it was like something out of What's Eating Gilbert Grape. They had problems, and Walter clearly needed help, and the Dude couldn't deal with him, but in the end, they still were close. This is possibly the only thing close to "touching" in the film.

5.) Robin

And I only mean the 1960 one. Campy, stupid, black and white morality, this was an icon of television and a representation of everything that show was. I own the original 1960s Batman: The Movie on DVD. Burt Ward did it amazingly, and of course Adam West is a pop culture icon for his role. I miss old TV shows like this.

4.) Chewbacca

Of course Chewbacca is on this list. Without saying one word he managed to bring a fair amount of comic relief and has left such a dent in pop culture that this happened:

3.) Spock

The show is an icon. The character has spawned generations of nerds into funny ears and signature hand gestures. The character is an icon in a show chock full of them. I'd go on, but I really don't think anyone would question this decision.

2.) Jules

Jules is one of those sidekicks that isn't. He's his own character, and a huge icon on his own. Show stealing, wise-cracking, fan-beloved, this is what sidekicks are. But he's more of a side character than a sidekick. Nonetheless, Vincent had "antics" for which Jules tagged along, so I'm sticking to it.

1.) Tuco

This goes along with Spock in that Tuco is an iconic character in an iconic movie. This film is number one on my lists (not written on here, or anywhere, if you were gonna look or anything) of best westerns, best standoffs, best war era films, and best Clint Eastwood movie. Tuco is the best sidekick because he defies the ordinary role of a sidekick for the best. He doesn't love his protagonist, he isn't a "good guy" and there's serious emotional issues between them. And though, as we know in the end of the film, they aren't pals at all, Tuco really cared about Blondie. That scene where he lies and explains how much his brother loves him is so tugging, emotionally. He loved Blondie. He was lonely. Tuco needed anybody to be his friend. And he fucked it up.

Well, that all said, I think we can all stop arguing at every moment that any film with a sidekick will be bad. Do I want Robin in the next Batman? No. But it could be well done.

John Goodman as Robin.

I'm done playing the hypothetical game.