According to Hollywood Reporter, Columbia has ordered a script for Bad Boys III, in 3-D. Well, maybe not in 3-D, but still...

"Columbia Pictures is developing a third installment of the high-octane "Bad Boys" franchise, hiring a writer for the screenplay.

The hope is that Peter Craig's script would reunite director Michael Bay, producer Jerry Bruckheimer and stars Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. At this point, with the project in the early stages, none has a deal to return."

As of now, we are dealing with a non-story, but the implications are immense. With the success of the two Transformer movies, the world has written Michael Bay a blank check, and simultaneously removed any semblance of interest in cohesive narrative or plots. After the positive affirmation presented by a billion dollar global box-office for Revenge of the Fallen, Bay now has a mandate to do nothing but blow shit up while swirling cameras at a dizzying pace around said blowing up shit, while periodically catching a pained expression of an actor that is there simply to collect a check. At this point, a script is superfluous...

360 degree shootout:


We are rapidly approaching an event that will be known as the Bay Singularity. The Bay Singularity is imminent. It is the culmination of what Michael Bay has been progressing towards over his entire career. It is a movie conceived of and comprised solely of effects. There will be no dialogue in the traditional sense. Just a hodgepodge of non-sequitur bodily function jokes, and references to female body parts. This "dialogue" will do nothing to forward the narrative, they will simply appear at random points during the effects shots. You will only know it has ended as the camera pulls back to show an american flag raised up over the ashes of the smoldering earth.

Actually... this may have already happened... If it hasn't, then Bad Boys III may be the very last traditional film that Michael Bay makes. After the Bay Singularity occurs, it will compress all major hollywood films into it's mold. No film coming from hollywood will have the ability to make sense, as sensible plots will show to have no value. 20 dollars spent on a script is 20 dollars less to blow shit up with. At some point, there will be one that brings balance back to movie making... but until that time, please to enjoy next weeks big debut: