If it's crap ... We'll tell you
More like shouldn't of focking bothered!
There is a scene in this film...actually let me rephrase that, there are several scenes in this film, where you are forced to sit through a ton of actors dignity get ripped apart. The biggest example of this is the scene where you have to look at good old 'Bob De Niro, look at him in all his innocents and think about all the great roles and characters he has given us over the years, Travis Bickle, Vito Corleone, Jake La Motta, that dude who played around with the central heating in Brazil, the guy played eff-ing Al Capone. The list is endless, all these great films (forget about Rocky and Bullwinkle though) spinning through your head, and you look at him grit his teeth together they look like they are going to shatter as he searches his entire body, from the bottom of his heart and soul to the deepest part of his brain for enough pride for this single line. He's rushing through a paragraph just so he can get this scene and most importantly this line over and done, you can tell it's taken him more than a few takes to get through this line. He's stood up, looking at Ben Stiller square in the face with a huge erection coming from his pants, as he loudly, forcefully stammers the line from the back of his throat, "I'm having a dick attack".
This is how bad Little Fockers is, I've written a very long paragraph on single throw away-able line.
And the worst is, that only the best example of many of the scenes in this movie. And the person who ends up worst off at the end of it, is Robert De Niro. Ben Stiller, it is expected of, Owen Wilson, Likewise. Jessica Alba is usually only hired so she can take her top off, she does that in this movie, the problem is, you got to sit though the majority of the movie till you get to it. Throughout this entire movie she starts off from annoying bimbo, who is obviously going to be taken as a misunderstanding, to being taken too the extreme. Seriously, it's like her soul point is to come of as painfully obvious that she's banging Ben Stiller though she's not. Oh wait, THAT IS HER SOUL PURPOSE. (Well actually, her other purpose is so they can say Andy Garcia's name in weird contexts, like "Greg is cheating with Andy Garcia", I'm not wasting my time even explaining why they do that)
They drag Harvey Kitel into this for one or two scenes, he's wasted. You have Harvey Kitel and Robert De Niro on the same screen again in years, and though, I wasn't expecting genius work (this is 30 mins into the movie they meet up, I knew I had gotten into something bad by now) but this is a low point. They have an argument for 10 seconds which ends with the punchline of Kitel shouting "The Japs Surrendered" completly out of context. And they have him in some strange sleeveless shirt and vest every time he appears which just makes Mr. White look like an old drunk, come on man, you only have two scenes in this piece of shit and you can't even take them sober.
The film is just a to do list of jokes:
Puke joke, check
Pop Culture joke, check
Fart joke, check
Dick joke, check (1/9 of the movie is dedicated to De Niro's dick, by the way)
Sex joke, check
Slapstick joke, check
Running joke, check (Another 1/9 of the movie is Fock/Focking/Focker etc jokes)
Gay joke, check
Plot? HA! You'd be lucky. If I brought up the problems with the plot, I'd be spoiling it, not that I don't think you'd care. But if you really want to know the problem, there are a ton of sub plots brought up, and they are simply either dropped, or wrapped up implausibly and simply don't make sense, unless the logic of the film is "the characters are morons!"
Two good jokes people, that's all you get, maybe a few more, but 2 come to mind towards the end, one involving Dustin Hoffman which caught me directly of guard and completly works (through most the movie he's not even in it, you see him at the start and it's implied that he won't be in anymore of the movie) and another one in the fight scene, that is all. In an age of Youtube, you won't even need to rent the film to see these (well the Dustin Hoffman line might be hard to find).
This review was over by the end of that first paragraph, the rest of the review was just insurance of your own safety. The worst thing, it's left of with an implied sequel, which, we will now probably get since this was a success. Little Fockers should get fucked!
Some Ol' Bullshit!