a question, a story, and then another set of questions

[I'll let you know now that I am totally cribbing from myself. I am stealing this off of my very much un-neglected blog on Wordpress. It's for all my lads and ladies in the "I'm Not Just a Piece of Ass!" group, and I recommend that you join it if you too are not just a piece of ass...Don't worry I'll post movie related bloggy-blogs, too!]

What I am writing today started as a sort of question to the men of the world---what makes you ogle a woman so much that you trip/crash into something/crash into something while you're supposed to be driving---but then it sort of became a trip down memory lane.

You see this has happened to me on and off over the years, and not seeing myself as some gorgeous drool worthy creature, I honestly wonder at what men are staring at. Now, the obvious reply is "Tits!" and I definitely think that holds true in my later years, because, you know, I have some now. But, and stay with me here, the very first time that I had this sort of thing happen I was 12 and hadn't even hit puberty full on yet!

So let me set the scene. It's Hamilton, Ontario, it's a public Catholic school (no saucy uniforms here), and it's 1992. Back East this means that wiggas reigned supreme, and OMG, I had the worst poofy bangs and faux ghetto wardrobe ever. We were young, and therefore had no real taste---we all wore the same basketball jerseys and Chicago Bulls winter jackets (remember when the Bulls and the Hornets ruled the world...did they even? Or am I making that up?). We pathetically listened to 2Unlimited and Kriss Kross, and not so pathetically listened to House of Pain and Metallica.

Ah, to be 12 again.

There was a social hierarchy, too. I managed to land smack in the middle. I wasn't a total dork at that point, but neither was I one of the "cool" kids. I was, however, best friends with Joanne, who was one of the cool kids---I probably got cut a lot of slack for that.

Now, everybody knows that the Queen Bees get to choose the "hot" boys that you're supposed to have crushes on, and in our case Joanne totally had the hots for two twins a grade up. I think their names were Nick and Nathan, but I could be wrong---hell, it's been years since I even thought of this.

They weren't ugly, but they weren't necessarily my cup of tea. I could see what Joanne liked about them, they had that tall, dark and handsome thing going for them, and they were older (always gets a few bonus points on the hot scale for some reason---although, that's probably only up to a certain point, I have to say that Harrison Ford is looking a little rough these days...oh, Han...). In conversation, I dutifully would agree as to their hotness, and while they were identical twins, Joanne always liked Nick best, who is the guy that this incident stems forth from.

It happened when I was walking down the hall when classes were in session (i.e. empty hallway). There were sections in the middle of the hall that had doors for no other reason than that was where one section ended and another started. I never got the point of random doors in the middle of a straight hallway, but they were double doors and the solid metal bar from where they closed was smack dab in the middle of the hallway. Nick was walking towards me from the other way. At some point of course, we would have to cross paths (although there was plenty of room for both of us).

I am oblivious to men sometimes. I just am. (Apparently, this has been a lifelong thing.) I hadn't really thought that much about boys beyond the average "Oh, he's cute!" and I was still naïve at that point, oh my, was I ever naïve. So, tra la la la la, Didi was walking down the hall. I glanced up briefly to see Nick staring at me, and then about 3 seconds later painfully collide into the metal door frame that lies in the middle of the hall. I was more embarrassed for him than anything. I didn't really say anything, because I didn't know what to say. I went back to class after seeing that he was alright (albeit beet red), and Joanne thought that this was fabulous news, and so obviously the greatest thing ever!

I still blush a little for Nick just thinking of it. How embarrassing! I mean, it is one thing to get caught staring at a girl, but it's quite another to smash into shit while you're distracted by her---and she notices you doing it...

I take this sort of behaviour at face value these days. I just rack it up to T&A, but this one little thing I had forgotten for so long popped into my memory, and it makes me go, "WTF?" I didn't even really have breasts at that point, and I was far too young for sexy pheromones or whatever...And now I really wonder instead of just mildly wondering---what are they staring at?

I am going to have to look into this perhaps---see if there are any scientific studies on the matter. I mean I am not the only girl this happens to, and it can be more dangerous than drinking and driving, if the guy happens to be operating a vehicle at that particular point in time.

I know that all men do this! Yes, even very intelligent men---hell, if Stephen Hawking could move his head you know he'd be babe [?] watchin'! So what is the trigger, and what are they thinking (if at all) when these incidences of complete obliviousness to their surroundings occur?

"Stephen Hawking would like to give you a brief history of the contents of his pants."

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