A little over a week ago, Lindsey and I went to Vegas. Now this this trip was supposed to be a two in one as I was supposed to be going to a bachelorette party the night after clubbing with Lindsey. We had free rooms for the weekend all lined up and were meeting Lindsey's friends from Turkey and Chicago on Friday to share an evening with them.

Although the weekend was to be full of joy, both Linds and I had a little sadness diluted in our trip because we knew that this would be the last adventure we would share as roommates.

But, can I just say that this was a life experience and I'm so grateful I was able to have it. I met some of the most amazing people, saw beautiful artwork, and partook of wonderful endless alcoholic beverages. The highlight of the night, I must say, was the company we shared.

Honestly the gentlemen we were with have refreshed my outlook on the crude male populace in general and have inspired me to be a better person myself. It's been so long since I talked with a man who was honestly or even dishonestly interested in what I had to say. They also had sound input and concrete reasons to back up what their views were. And if they really didn't have an opinion, they were humble enough to ask for the facts.

It was just so refreshing. However, I'm afraid that the night might have even put a damper on how I view my own life. And the main issue here, of course, is money. Just to gain a proper education so that I may participate in these social activities at the level that I wish, is too far from my own financial grasp.

I wrote down my poetic thought process and would like to share it to perhaps let the upper and even middle class peoples have a slight taste on what I am feeling. Now you have to remember, the majority of poverty stricken individuals never take any opportunity to see what else could be out there. So this is how I feel knowing what is in the world and out of my grasp.

May 30th 2009

Only because I cannot fly - Jillian Dooley

Running! I keep on Running...
I'm driving, I'm striving. Does anyone see?
Can anyone help me, running?
No. That's okay. It's not your place.
You don't have to. I understand.
Oh! I can't see the end!
I'm tripping, I'm stumbling. I'm falling!
Broken, I'm lying in the dirt.
Can anyone help me stand?
Can ANYone help me stand?!
I'm straining to get on my feet.
No, no. Don't worry your little head.
You can go on with out me.
You don't want to turn around?
I'll do it by myself becasue I see you're leaving me here.
I can accept that.
You are so far away now to somewhere I'll never go.
I can never go. Why?
Because the sign says that wings are required to fly.
Oh, wings!
God! Why are you such a bastard?!
You gave me the drive to fly and the skills to fly.
Higher than ANYone!
But you didn't give me wings.
So I'm running. I'm running on the ground.
Here in the dirt.
I'm running, running, running.

I've decided that I don't even care anymore about the debt. It's worth it. An education is priceless. I've done everything alone for 21 years. Why should anything change?

Errrrk! Abrupt catharsis! Back to Vegas people!
So Lindsey and I went to a real mall and I got something to wear for the evening. It was a short black dress with a silky blue camisole attachment. I think I looked, I know I felt, sophisticated. My hair was pulled into a knot at the back of my head and I had painted on dark eyes and lips. Lindsey wore a tropically colored little dress and wore her hair down. Granted I usually feel less in comparison to Lindsey, as she is one hot blond with perfect skin, hair, teeth, and attitude. She's quite a catch, who has a very sexy singing voice.

But I wasn't going to let that get to me! This was my time away from Utah and I had promised myself that I was going to enjoy every minute of it! And I did! All the way to having way too much to drink, giggling, laughing, joking, and, hellsyeah, dancing on the chairs.

We took a cab to the Venetian and beelined it to the Tao where we VIP tables awaiting us. And like I said, the company we were complete gentlemen and respected our boundaries which was so surprising to me at first, and it made me want to sing in joy of ever finding men like them! I thought they only existed in fairy tales and Jane Austen novels.

Tangent: Which is funny because Austen usually boasted about how that's not how life works, yet she writes these romances about the gentleman marring the lady and vice-versa.

So as my soon-to-be ex-roommate and I were leaving the Venetian, we could hear the Bellagio fountains singing Phantom of the Opera into the night. This was the time that Lindsey decided she needed to sing along. It was fantasticly awful. ^_^

I was at a pinnacle of happiness, and I knew it. I'm just glad that I have the ability to see that. I mean without my lifestyle as it is now, I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to fully enjoy the great opportunity I shared with Lindsey, Ata, Chem (sorry sp?), and co.

And if they ever happen upon this, thank you guys for the amazing and beautiful time.

Now, the next morning, I woke up pretty sore and Lindsey and I were starving. We ran around Vegas and the pool at Encore trying to see everyone we needed to see. The bachelorette party fell through as the party planner and the bachelorette were arrested the night before for "drug use," and would be spending the remainder or the weekend in jail.

After visiting for a short time with a few acquaintances of Lindsey's, we were planning on meeting up with the group we met the previous night. We didn't make it however as we were ready to pass out. We found a freeway entrance and on the way home, we stopped at a buffet and ate until we could not eat anymore! It was a much needed energizer. When we did finally arrive home, we slept the remainder of the day away.

And that, ladies and gentlemen is a memory I will always be glad to have!

Over and out!