Dear LEOG, in celebration of your Blue Christmas, as I haven’t actually got you guys anything for Christmas this year; instead I’ve prepared a little Festive Roast for you guys. So, sit back, relax, and please enjoy a good roasting from your friend and fan…

Merlin Horrorcock.

(Warning: Readers Discretion Is Advised).

So, let’s start with you Grandpa Leon. You fucking dinosaur, you fossil. Somehow I’ve managed to get my hands on a map, which evidently would lead you to the ‘Fountain of Youth’, and I have an inkling that it may come in handy. Merry fucking Christmas chocolate bear, you’re the best Podcast host this side of Spill!

For Cyrus, I have for you an original Santa Claus outfit. Don’t worry if it’s a little snug on you, I hear the LEOG ladies are quite handy with a needle and thread. But seriously man, cut out the fucking milk and cookies this year, or you’ll end up looking like Kevin Smith’s fat juicy twat. Happy Holidays uncle Cyrus, in my eyes you’re an internet legend!

And we come to Beau, you huge grizzly looking mutha’ fucker, why you haven’t gone into hibernation yet throws me for a loop. So this year I’ve got you a picnic basket, with a life time supply of Ruthie’s for you and your “soon to be deceased” hooker acquaintances. Stay loud and proud my festive friend, I wouldn’t change you for the world!

For the TV Dude that is Grant, Some hits for the Lounge Geeks website. Fuck Yeah you need the hits, nobody but me and the league lounge guys visit that sorry ass page.

Good tidings to you fella, keep up the great work, and don’t ever shut the Fuck Up!

Harris who? Oh yeah that guy, the funniest thing to come out of Harris’s mouth, was Jason Murphy’s Cock! For you my carrot top hulk, a double the amount of festive cheer, first a cock pump to counter act all the years of steroid abuse (seriously dude, you’re making Cyrus look bad), and secondly a single shot of the Rabies vaccine (that’s what you get for picking up a stray Cat).

Fish a Polish Christmas dish, for you my young friend, a mistletoe belt buckle. Let’s face it, with out it, you aint getting your little Fish stick wet this Xmas without one. Keep up the hard work at S.C.A.D young Padawan, we all see great things for you in the new year!

Fungusmonkey, or Peter, or Gimp? Which ever you prefer. For you my good friend, an army of clones, because there’s just not enough comments of yours already on SPILL.COM! Peace out brother, you’re like my Spill.Com McRib, me and other Spillios just can’t get enough of you!

And finally, last but not least, for the lovely Cat, I’ve got you your very own Podcast, so hopefully one day somebody will listen to what you have to say, and take it on board. We shall call it ‘Cat’s Cradle’, and if you make a mess with it, I’m sure all the guys will rub your nose in it. You’re truly a beautiful young woman, on the inside and out, Harris is the luckiest guy in the world!

Merry Blue Christmas guys, please deck the halls with foul language and smut, and have a Happy Blue New Year. Love you guys, and long live the Mutha’ Fucking, Cock Sucking, Asshole Felching, Cunt Fisting, Goatsie Eating… LEAGUE!!!