I just watched The Swan Princess (I do not own a TV and have no time to go to the theater. Ten part YouTube hacks are all I can get right now) and it was baffling. Besides the horrid songs every five minutes and the 'not-quite-disney' animation, the storyline was very poor. Here's what basically happened:

Princess and Prince have an arranged marriage. They hate each other as children all the way up until they are adults, when the prince suddenly decides that she is hot and wants to marry her. She asks what else he loves about her besides her looks and he has nothing to say. He's a dick.

Princess & family storm off, offended. They get rolled by some guy with a cloak and crazy facial hair. He also happens to turn into a dragon. King dies. Princess goes missing. Prince decides that he will find her.

Cut to a swan in a lake that turns into the princess. The villain talks to her for awhile, leaves, then princess sings a song about how the Prince is the love of her life. She hated him in the last scene she was in, but I guess any shelter in a storm will do.

Then later she's supposed to meet him at a ball, but the villain sends his crazy cleaning lady instead and the prince doesn't even notice. For some reason, that kills her.

Then she gets better and they get married. Happy Ever After!


I don't think that this should be called "The Swan Princess"

This should be called "The Unlucky Trophy Wife"