Air-conditioned, comfortable, and filled with popcorn, movie theaters have always been a worthy stoner destination. In fact, it should be no surprise to some of you that certain movies can be a lot of fun to watch while high (an appropriate way to let me know if you’re one of these people is to spam the comments with “420 w33d 4 life!!1”).

I could wax poetically about this subject forever, so this list is far from exhaustive. Nonetheless, I hope you’ll find a good mix of old standbys and novel selections – some of which don’t necessarily include pot-smoking in them at all. All 10 movies are also rated according to how high you should be to enjoy them, measured in Willie Nelsons. Obviously, even just 1 Willie Nelson () means you’re going to have to get really fucking high.

10) Airplane!

How High to Get:


King of the spoof movies, Airplane!’s joke density, silliness, and stupidity make it a fantastic complement to a giggly high. Some of you might shoot me for saying this (come on, just chill out bros), but the movie hasn’t aged perfectly. That’s why it’s great stoner fodder, though. Temporarily knocking a few points off your IQ is a surefire way to make those cheesy puns hit again – or, in the least, make them seem intentionally ironic. Also, in a blatant display of marketing genius, did you know that the film was called Flying High in Australia? (I believe that, for similar reasons, Snakes on a Plane was released there as Gettin’ Drunk.)

9) Grandma’s Boy

How High to Get:


This relatively unknown film from producer Adam Sandler is far from any typical understanding of the word “good.” But something magical happens when you get high sometimes. You start judging movies on the basis of how much the protagonist likes to do the same things you like to do (e.g., Garden State’s hipster popularity: “Oh my God?! He listens to The Shins and mopes around like a whiny douche, too?!?”). In this sense, Grandma’s Boy’s pothead Alex, who is secretly a video game design genius and a suitor to the attractive Samantha, is stoner wish fulfillment of the finest degree. Turn off the square part of your brain that cares about things like “plot” and “depth,” and just enjoy the juvenile humor and gratuitous shots of video games and bongs (like porn, but better).

8) Dazed and Confused

How High to Get:


Who said stoner movies had to be shit? Richard Linklater’s 1970s period piece is a masterful work of cinema, and it’s made all the better because of joints - lots and lots of joints. You're transported back to a time when fucking the establishment was as simple as saying the word “fuck" (or not signing a letter, whatever, that's not the point). Dazed and Confused is a gem to watch high because it glamorizes the drug's countercultural flare. Randall “Pink” Floyd makes pot smoking seem not only cool, but downright virtuous. Moreover, your lungs will burn with jealousy (among other things) for the casual presence weed plays in the 70s high school culture. Don’t get too fucked up your first time watching, though. You want to be lucent enough to savor the film’s intelligence as it pats you on the back.

7) WALL•E

How High to Get:


Let’s run through the checklist of qualities that make for a good kids’ movie. Colorful animation and fascinating action shots? Check. Easy to follow, but emotionally resonant plot? Check. Simple, but effective humor? Check. Adorable anthropomorphized characters hitting bongs to the face? Ch— Oh. Right. Still, it should be easy to see how an excellent film for children shares most of the qualities that make for an excellent film for high adults. Trust me when I say, I mean this in the most complementary way possible. WALL•E's relatively limited dialogue makes for a breezy viewing experience, offering a visually stimulating, emotionally wrenching masterpiece that can still be enjoyed after blasting 5 lightNelsons (c) into outer space. c =

6) Reefer Madness (the 1936 original)

How High to Get:


Once a lesson in the supposed dangers of marijuana, Reefer Madness is now a cautionary tale of how fearful people can become when something new and unknown is introduced, and how ridiculous you sound when you use the word “reefer.” The film was intended to teach parents about the dangers of smoking pot. Today, it is better known for drastically overstating the case (i.e., “lying”) and for its hilariously campy, dated, and cheap production value. In two notable moments, reefer cigarettes cause a man to hallucinate his girlfriend stripping for a rival, and make a woman play the piano at a hilariously impossible speed. This may lead you to wonder in what ways this film makes weed seem not cool. Well, it turns out it also makes you rape, murder, and commit suicide. Here’s a fun game: for every hit someone takes in the film, take three yourself – then see how long you can go without curb-stomping puppies.

5) Ridiculous Porn

How High to Get:

+

**

Buckle up, because you’re in for the long haul on this one. The goal here is to remember as little as possible, lest permanent damage be inflicted to your psyche. If you can feel your face, you’ve done something wrong. While this isn’t a specific movie per se, I do have some in mind. You may think I’m crazy, you may think I’m disgusting, you may even think I’m a pervert. But hear me out. Ridiculous porn – I’m talking the kind that is so cheap, so silly, so utterly ingenious in its stupidity that it’s not even sexy – is funny, especially (perhaps only?) while high. Just remember: for every one of you doing this ironically, there’s a guy out there actually buying Clowns vs. Pirates: The Sexual Adventure to masturbate to. That’s the guy you’ll be laughing at the entire time.

**Moderate consumption of alcohol is recommended as additional preparation for novices.

4) Tron

How High to Get:


Bet you didn’t see this one coming, eh? Tron’s cool sober, sure, but it’s doubly improved while high. First, the film’s visuals are that much more impressive stoned; it’s a pleasure to watch the high-contrast mix of glowy neons and deep blacks without having to attend a rave. Second, getting high has the advantage of making the film a comedy. Yes, a comedy. How else to receive the film’s hilariously warped depiction of cyberspace? For example, everyone knows the only reason Google is a success is that it beat Yahoo in a Frisbee-based gladiatorial cyber-fight to the death! (This is where I explicitly denote that that was sarcasm, since this is text and it is on the internet.) Tron high is a fun exercise in seeing how little the public once understood about computers. On the other hand, if you insist on viewing the film earnestly, keep on smoking until the plot seems genius. It will come and it will be awesome (you will be high).

3) Knocked Up

How High to Get:


I might get some shit for putting this one up here instead of some other stoner film classics (some rabid Chappelle fans will surely have a bone to pick…). But this movie not only delivered an accurate portrayal of pot to a mainstream audience, girls will also watch it. Girls! Every slacker pothead harbors fears of wasting his or her life away, and it’s that particular dilemma that colors this entire film. Knocked Up’s cast of endearing stoners reminds us that boyfriends shouldn’t only be judged on the merits of their type-A achievements. It also reminds us that smoking all day and doing nothing isn’t exactly the best way to achieve your dreams (never mind that’s exactly how Seth Rogen did it in real life). Any time you need some perspective on your habit – for better or for worse – bake out a goldfish bowl and pop in this DVD. Getting high won’t just make the film funnier, it’ll also make you think it’s entirely about you. No problem, it ends happy and there are mushrooms involved.

2) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

How High to Get:


Terry Gilliam’s skillful adaptation of the Thompson classic almost presupposes you’re going to come to it high. Indulge it. As Godfather is to the mob, so Fear and Loathing is to recreational drug use. The plot is simple and inconsequential to your enjoyment: two guys head to Vegas with a briefcase filled with a lot of drugs. I mean a lot, as if someone were throwing an acid test for a family of bears. It’s a ton of fun to watch while high, because no matter how stupid you make yourself, you’ll have a hard time ever looking more ridiculous or embarrassing than the guys on screen (at least they’re in Vegas). In that sense, it’s almost comforting. A word of caution though: do not, under any circumstances, attempt to “keep up” with the protagonists. That’s like watching The Godfather and then beheading horses.

1) The Big Lebowski

How High to Get:


Clichéd? Maybe a little. There’s good reason for that. Lebowski’s notorious “The Dude” proves that even the world’s biggest pothead slacker is still superior to those around him, merely by virtue of being super chill. It also comes packaged with the Coen brothers’ trademark wackiness and exceptional production. As The Dude wanders through a series of surreal scenarios, the only constant is the laid-back “do no harm” attitude he maintains – and if you’re stoned out of your mind, it’s like watching Jesus dance. The Dude is a pothead idol, reminding us that weed doesn’t necessarily make you a worthless loser. Well, it kind of does - he looks smelly. But it also has a remarkable strength: it lets you rise above both petty judgments and serious dilemmas, since you’re so high you just don’t give a shit. So “do a j” (no one will mind), throw on some CCR, and appreciate the fact that German nihilists aren’t out to kill you – because you can only hope you’d be half as mellow as The Dude.





[I've edited this post minimally. Needed a revision. Wording, not ordering. 8/7/08 8:19PM]