FILM REVIEW: Batman & Robin

Batman & Robin
Studio: Warner Bros.
Run time: 125 min.
Directed by Joel Schumacher
Screenplay by Akiva Goldsman
Cast:
Arnold Schwarzenegger as Doctor Victor Frees/Mr. Freeze
George Clooney as Bruce Wayne/Batman
Chris O'Donnell as Dick Grayson/Robin
Uma Thurman as Doctor Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy
Alicia Silverstone as Barbara Wilson/Batgirl
Michael Gough as Alfred Pennyworth
Pat Hingle as Commissioner Jim Gordon
Jeep Swenson as Antonio Diego/Bane
John Glover as Doctor Jason Woodrue

Do I even need to tell you this fucking plot?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT BATMAN!!!! Man I keep trying to not totally be harsh on his movie but god damn it I can't help myself! FUCK JOEL SCHUMACHER!!!! Now also a huge part of the blames can go to screenwriter Akiva Goldsman for writing this piece of garbage! Arnold Schwarzenegger felt like it was necessary to make puns about ice and freezing in this moive since he is Mr. Freeze! Oh how clever! Just shut the fuck up and start freezing people with your freez gun damn it! Okay now to hate on Clooney. Man why did someone choose him for Batman and Bruce Wayne? His Bruce Wayne is basically just George Clooney and he doesn't even change his voice when he is Batman! Yeah nice way to keep your damn identity moron! Now Chris O'Donnell was pretty much still the same since Batman Forever and well came off as a real dickhead when he tried to go solo. Not much improvement on him there except for the costume which is was hinting towards him becoming Nightwing but it never happened. Now talk about miscasting, that's how I'm describing Alica Silverstone and Uma Thurman! Among the many problems of Ms. Silverstone's performance as Batgirl is that she wasn't Gordon's daugher and instead was Alfred's niece and she wasn't really doing anything spectacular except lookign sexy. Uma Thurman did not really belong as Poison Ivy and gave a pretty bad performance. Now back to you Schumacher! Batnipples once again and Batman has a credit card?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL MAN?! this felt more like an update of the original 1960s Adam West show. Now they're were a few and I mean FEW aspects of the film that were enjoyable such as the final big fight at the Gotham Observatory was pretty neat and fun to watch and some of the dialouge didn't totally suck. BUT THIS MOVIE DID!!!

Star rating: 1 1/2 stars/4
Grade rating: D-

Next review: Batman Begins