So tomorow I have my final college exam. The big one. The one where everything I learned for these past 4 wonderfully mediocre years is being put to the test. And I am sure that I will be asked the same inane question I've been asked before every single exam I have ever taken in those same 4 years. Somebody somewhere, some dim witted classmate, will come up to me and ask me with a voice that is somewhere between worried and disinterested...

"Do you know anything?"


Oh, how I hate this question... because I'm never quite sure what they want me to say. Do I know anything? Do I know anything? Do I know anything? Or perhaps... Do I know anything? Anything at all? Well my worrisome friend, I know stuff. I know plenty of stuff. I may even know some stuff that you don't know. I am sure you know stuff that I don't know. But I don't know if that's what you really want to know. I think you want to know if I know anything that's going to be on the test. That I don't know. I may know some of the stuff that may or may not be on the test... but again, I don't know if that's what you really want to know. I think you want to know if I don't know anything at all about what may or may not be on the test, so that you can feel better about what you know. Or don't know.

At least that's the feeling I got from being asked that question. You don't really want to know, you're just looking for reassurance. I'm sure you know that I know something because I actually study. And I know you know that I know something. And I have a guess that a you know that I know that you know that I know something, but you're hoping I'm going to say I don't know anything in order to make you feel better.

And you're right. I don't know a goddamn thing. But I do know this. I won't have to deal with this crap anymore from now on!