Slow down there M. Night. You know, while I found your antics insufferable thus far, this time you really stepped over the line from Douchetown and took a fast train to Completeassville. It's one thing that your movie's getting reemed. Hell Korey's review of The Happening is the kindest I've heard. When talking to people whose opinions I trust, however, the picture is much, much bleaker. The nicest there was "It's the funniest movie of the summer" on down to "The worst thing I've seen all year." So what's the most arrogant, unappealing way to defend yourself?
Claim people don't understand it - and call it something different than what it is. Oh, and call it The BEST. YEAH!
In this interview here
, Shyamalan opens with the following exchange.
CNN: So a lot of people are going to see this and say, "Is this an environment movie?" Are you sending an Al Gore-like message out here, or is it just a thriller?
Shyamalan: No. 1, it's a B movie. This is the best B movie you will ever see, that's it. That's what this is. If there's other things that stick to your ribs as you walk out, that's great, but it's supposed to be, you know, zombies eating flesh.
CNN: So when you say B, you don't mean honeybee?
Shyamalan: No, I meant like, you know, zombies and killer things running around.
Okay, so here's the main problem with the above statement. Shyamalan doesn't know what the #$*% a B movie is. And he hit upon one of my pet peeves. For the longest time people have defended or slammed a movie based upon its B MOVIE status. Using phrases like "Well, it was pretty good for a B movie," and "That was nothing more than a B movie." But what exactly does that mean? Well, I'll tell you, because it is a pretty important part of movie history.
In the cinema's middle period - between the 1940's and the 1960's - going out to the movies had become about being an EXPERIENCE. With the new competition of television, movie theatres needed something to bring people back in. So they went from showing just one movie to offering a whole nights entertainment. Cartoons (like the old Warner Brothers shorts we all grew up with), newsreels, short films (like the 3 stooges) and most importantly...a SECOND feature. Unable to afford two big blockbuster films at once, theatres discovered they could show a lesser film, most often an independant film put out by small time producers. These films tended to follow whatever the trend was at the time. Horror, science fiction, fantasy, thriller, Noir - whatever the kids were paying to see those days. These movies starred total unknowns, up and coming actors or sometimes old hasbeens who still had name recognition.
The big film everyone had paid to see, the studio picture with big name stars and big budgets was referred to as the A Movie. It was the top billed and the one that brought people out. The Second feature...was called the B Movie. Now when people talk about B Movies in historical terms, they're usually referring to certain periods of film. If someone is referencing the old B movies of the 50's, odds are they're talking about Atomic Horror, when cheap movies were made about giant monsters or mutations as a result of radiation. Other times people are speaking specifically of guys like Roger Corman who made themselves rich by churning these out as fast and cheaply as possible.
So when a douchenozzle like Shyamalan says something positively inane like what he said above, it makes me want to smack him upside the head with my limp #$%*. This is the best B movie you will ever see? Really? Well, lets for a second ignore the fact that you're the only one saying that. How is it even a B Movie? It stars Mark Wahlberg. A List Actor. John Leguizamo. Zooey Deschenel. These aren't nobodies or hasbeens. And what exactly was the budget of your movie? Excuse me? No, this isn't the best B Movie you'll ever see. This is a shitty A Movie that could have its ass handed to it by any number of B movies - from the present OR the past. Not only does he not understand what he's talking about, but he's alienating any number of A List genre films from being considered as such.
Look around you M. Night. Your movie came out at the same time as a number of A List B MOVIES (if you want to term them like that.) You got your ass kicked by an Atomic Horror movie (The Hulk
), a saturday morning adventure serial (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
), and a rocket men from the moon adventure (Iron Man
.) Are these really B Movies? #$*% you.
Seriously, dude. Shut the #$*% up. You're not helping matters any.