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What IS a b Movie? $10 bucks says Shyamalan doesn't know!
Slow down there M. Night. You know, while I found your antics insufferable thus far, this time you really stepped over the line from Douchetown and took a fast train to Completeassville. It's one thing that your movie's getting reemed. Hell Korey's review of The Happening is the kindest I've heard. When talking to people whose opinions I trust, however, the picture is much, much bleaker. The nicest there was "It's the funniest movie of the summer" on down to "The worst thing I've seen all year." So what's the most arrogant, unappealing way to defend yourself?
Claim people don't understand it - and call it something different than what it is. Oh, and call it The BEST. YEAH!
In this interview here, Shyamalan opens with the following exchange.
CNN: So a lot of people are going to see this and say, "Is this an environment movie?" Are you sending an Al Gore-like message out here, or is it just a thriller?
Shyamalan: No. 1, it's a B movie. This is the best B movie you will ever see, that's it. That's what this is. If there's other things that stick to your ribs as you walk out, that's great, but it's supposed to be, you know, zombies eating flesh.
CNN: So when you say B, you don't mean honeybee?
Shyamalan: No, I meant like, you know, zombies and killer things running around.
Okay, so here's the main problem with the above statement. Shyamalan doesn't know what the #$*% a B movie is. And he hit upon one of my pet peeves. For the longest time people have defended or slammed a movie based upon its B MOVIE status. Using phrases like "Well, it was pretty good for a B movie," and "That was nothing more than a B movie." But what exactly does that mean? Well, I'll tell you, because it is a pretty important part of movie history.
In the cinema's middle period - between the 1940's and the 1960's - going out to the movies had become about being an EXPERIENCE. With the new competition of television, movie theatres needed something to bring people back in. So they went from showing just one movie to offering a whole nights entertainment. Cartoons (like the old Warner Brothers shorts we all grew up with), newsreels, short films (like the 3 stooges) and most importantly...a SECOND feature. Unable to afford two big blockbuster films at once, theatres discovered they could show a lesser film, most often an independant film put out by small time producers. These films tended to follow whatever the trend was at the time. Horror, science fiction, fantasy, thriller, Noir - whatever the kids were paying to see those days. These movies starred total unknowns, up and coming actors or sometimes old hasbeens who still had name recognition.
The big film everyone had paid to see, the studio picture with big name stars and big budgets was referred to as the A Movie. It was the top billed and the one that brought people out. The Second feature...was called the B Movie. Now when people talk about B Movies in historical terms, they're usually referring to certain periods of film. If someone is referencing the old B movies of the 50's, odds are they're talking about Atomic Horror, when cheap movies were made about giant monsters or mutations as a result of radiation. Other times people are speaking specifically of guys like Roger Corman who made themselves rich by churning these out as fast and cheaply as possible.
So when a douchenozzle like Shyamalan says something positively inane like what he said above, it makes me want to smack him upside the head with my limp #$%*. This is the best B movie you will ever see? Really? Well, lets for a second ignore the fact that you're the only one saying that. How is it even a B Movie? It stars Mark Wahlberg. A List Actor. John Leguizamo. Zooey Deschenel. These aren't nobodies or hasbeens. And what exactly was the budget of your movie? Excuse me? No, this isn't the best B Movie you'll ever see. This is a shitty A Movie that could have its ass handed to it by any number of B movies - from the present OR the past. Not only does he not understand what he's talking about, but he's alienating any number of A List genre films from being considered as such.
Look around you M. Night. Your movie came out at the same time as a number of A List B MOVIES (if you want to term them like that.) You got your ass kicked by an Atomic Horror movie (The Hulk), a saturday morning adventure serial (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull), and a rocket men from the moon adventure (Iron Man.) Are these really B Movies? #$*% you.
Seriously, dude. Shut the #$*% up. You're not helping matters any.
Claim people don't understand it - and call it something different than what it is. Oh, and call it The BEST. YEAH!
In this interview here, Shyamalan opens with the following exchange.
CNN: So a lot of people are going to see this and say, "Is this an environment movie?" Are you sending an Al Gore-like message out here, or is it just a thriller?
Shyamalan: No. 1, it's a B movie. This is the best B movie you will ever see, that's it. That's what this is. If there's other things that stick to your ribs as you walk out, that's great, but it's supposed to be, you know, zombies eating flesh.
CNN: So when you say B, you don't mean honeybee?
Shyamalan: No, I meant like, you know, zombies and killer things running around.
Okay, so here's the main problem with the above statement. Shyamalan doesn't know what the #$*% a B movie is. And he hit upon one of my pet peeves. For the longest time people have defended or slammed a movie based upon its B MOVIE status. Using phrases like "Well, it was pretty good for a B movie," and "That was nothing more than a B movie." But what exactly does that mean? Well, I'll tell you, because it is a pretty important part of movie history.
In the cinema's middle period - between the 1940's and the 1960's - going out to the movies had become about being an EXPERIENCE. With the new competition of television, movie theatres needed something to bring people back in. So they went from showing just one movie to offering a whole nights entertainment. Cartoons (like the old Warner Brothers shorts we all grew up with), newsreels, short films (like the 3 stooges) and most importantly...a SECOND feature. Unable to afford two big blockbuster films at once, theatres discovered they could show a lesser film, most often an independant film put out by small time producers. These films tended to follow whatever the trend was at the time. Horror, science fiction, fantasy, thriller, Noir - whatever the kids were paying to see those days. These movies starred total unknowns, up and coming actors or sometimes old hasbeens who still had name recognition.
The big film everyone had paid to see, the studio picture with big name stars and big budgets was referred to as the A Movie. It was the top billed and the one that brought people out. The Second feature...was called the B Movie. Now when people talk about B Movies in historical terms, they're usually referring to certain periods of film. If someone is referencing the old B movies of the 50's, odds are they're talking about Atomic Horror, when cheap movies were made about giant monsters or mutations as a result of radiation. Other times people are speaking specifically of guys like Roger Corman who made themselves rich by churning these out as fast and cheaply as possible.
So when a douchenozzle like Shyamalan says something positively inane like what he said above, it makes me want to smack him upside the head with my limp #$%*. This is the best B movie you will ever see? Really? Well, lets for a second ignore the fact that you're the only one saying that. How is it even a B Movie? It stars Mark Wahlberg. A List Actor. John Leguizamo. Zooey Deschenel. These aren't nobodies or hasbeens. And what exactly was the budget of your movie? Excuse me? No, this isn't the best B Movie you'll ever see. This is a shitty A Movie that could have its ass handed to it by any number of B movies - from the present OR the past. Not only does he not understand what he's talking about, but he's alienating any number of A List genre films from being considered as such.
Look around you M. Night. Your movie came out at the same time as a number of A List B MOVIES (if you want to term them like that.) You got your ass kicked by an Atomic Horror movie (The Hulk), a saturday morning adventure serial (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull), and a rocket men from the moon adventure (Iron Man.) Are these really B Movies? #$*% you.
Seriously, dude. Shut the #$*% up. You're not helping matters any.
Comment
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Comment by TheArtistFormerlyKnownasDerek on July 27, 2008 at 1:19pm -
OK, this blog is over a month old, but I just got around to reading it and I have to comment because I also share this pet peeve.
I have friends who I am constantly correcting for referring to, and excusing the awfulness of, a film by calling it "a b-grade movie". "No! It's not a grading scale!" I holler. "B refers to the film before the main feature! How many times do I have to give you this history lesson?"
It's probably the only thing I get up in arms about with people's opinions of movies. OK, that and Robocop is an excellent film, and not for a "B movie" - which I guess ties in to the previous peeve.
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Comment by Charnstar on July 7, 2008 at 10:14pm -
I gotta say, although Shyamalan doesn't know what the hell a B movie is, watching The Happening as a B movie makes it a whole lot more enjoyable. Much like AVP:R, it was a B movie with much to high a budget, which completely makes it turn to shit. And unlike anything made by Uwe Boll, which obviously has a high budget, but doesn't know how to use it and it turns to shit. Anyway, back to The Happening, it seemed a B movie script with a high budget and a director who's so far up his own ass he's M. Night Shyamalan. But no, it's definately not the best B movie ever, that's Man With The Screaming Brain... gotta love Bruce Campbell...
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Comment by JeffSon on June 29, 2008 at 3:35am -
I started losing faith in M. Night's flicks during Signs and lost it completely after Lady in the Water (which was a complete waste of the $1.50 I paid to rent it). M. Night uses "B-movie" as an excuse for when his flicks fail. What defines his movies - for me, at least - is that I have never once seen or heard someone say they've watched one of his movies twice.
A good movie - even a good B-movie - will make you watch it over and over again. At least Robert R. holds a sense of reverence for B-movies. He makes B-movies that try to be A-movies. I'm pretty sure that M. Night channels Kathy Bates when he makes a movie because I feel like he's just finished taking a sledge hammer to their ankles every time I see one of his flicks.
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Comment by charles martinez on June 20, 2008 at 9:34pm -
i'm sorry honey. maybe it was good maybe it was bad. just a matter of opinion ok.
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Comment by Everwen on June 20, 2008 at 9:01pm -
Robert Rodríguez making all his movies like they were B movies is such a big cop out, seriously, he needs to stop fooling around with his "homages", get a decent writer and make a good movie.
Now, back on topic, how Shyamalan did go from groundbreaking director to uber douche? I was hoping The Happening tanked so he'd see that he's making all the wrong decisions, but apparently they're gonna get back the production costs on the box office.
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Comment by charles martinez on June 20, 2008 at 7:36pm
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i haven't seen it, but everyone i know who has says don't waste your money. they say it's almost a comedy? whatever that means. i thought it was billed the most scary movie of the summer?? guess i'll take their advice and wait for the dvd.
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Comment by Mr. Whiplash on June 20, 2008 at 12:10pm -
I didn't even know it was a 'zombie' movie. I thought it was about evil wind (or, earlier on, i heard it was about killer plants or trees or something, which sounded like a total rip-off of Day of the Triphids, or so I hear)
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Comment by Ciaran O'Keeffe on June 20, 2008 at 9:35am -
Thanks Carlyle, a good read.
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Comment by Dardrex on June 20, 2008 at 3:25am -
what a douch he is... I hate people with egos
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Comment by Dexter on June 20, 2008 at 12:05am -
I bet he never intended it to be a "B" movie, until he started getting bad reviews, then he uses the "Oh but don't you see it's supposed to be bad", defense. This is purely to protect his ego. LAME
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