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TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR NEW GYM TEACHER IS NUTS
10. All he's wearing is a whistle
9. Warm-ups include jumping jacks, knee bends, and Jell-O shots
8. He's made a nice little home for himself under the bleachers
7. Plays Johnny Mathis records while you wrestle
6. Orders you to hover in place for a ten-count
5. Insists on being addressed as "Cap'n Sweaty"
4. Has class pair off for hour-long make-out sessions
3. Makes you hit the showers after each individual push-up
2. Asks you to spot for him in the men's room
1. Your final exam: Three hours on the teeter-totter
8. He's made a nice little home for himself under the bleachers
7. Plays Johnny Mathis records while you wrestle
6. Orders you to hover in place for a ten-count
5. Insists on being addressed as "Cap'n Sweaty"
4. Has class pair off for hour-long make-out sessions
3. Makes you hit the showers after each individual push-up
2. Asks you to spot for him in the men's room
1. Your final exam: Three hours on the teeter-totter
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