See? You're already ready to be pissed about something. I can't really blame you. I have the same reaction with that name.
For those who haven't read the names logged for death in the 'if I actually WAS a super-powered insane gun-toting muscle-bound dude, I 'd totally take this guy out'
book, Brett has a whole chapter devoted to him. For me, I'll never forgive him for how incredibly painful Rush Hour III
was to sit through, but for most it was the way he took the wheel of the X-Men film series
and careened it directly into a tree.
I wouldn't even let this guy make a sandwich for me, much less one of my favorite comics
Brett loves to try to attach himself to beloved geek properties and then say things that make us all want to gouge his eyes out so that he can never direct again. He's like a frat boy who doesn't get the appeal of these properties at all, but figures what difference does it make because we're all a bunch of idiots for liking them in the first place.
Brett's latest forays into pissing off fans include being the announced director for Beverly Hills Cop 4
(I'm starting to think Eddie Murphy
's agent is about as much help to him as Britney Spears
' psychologist), in talks to direct Playboy
(the bio about Hugh Hefner
that Robert Downey Jr
is in talks to play: Get out now Rob!), and here's the big one that's gonna piss you off: God of War.
See, Brett Ratner
, with all his typical bigheadedness, has launched a new company, Brett Ratner Brands
: "a consultancy to help brands infuse entertainment and culturally relevant ideas into their marketing strategies." Really? Because I would have thought that he woulda gotten a D in that class. In an interview with Advertising Age
, he said that now that he is done with his Mariah Carey
video, is starting work on his Miley Cyrus
video, he's looking at taking on the video game anti-hero. Yeah, here's a guy who should be put in charge of beloved geek licenses.
All that being said, while the God of War
games are among the most fun and bloody ones I've ever played (seriously, if you haven't given these things a go, and both your hands haven't been lopped off or something...what are you waiting for?) I don't think I'll be devastated if Brett totally fraks it up. The superior game play is the number one reason these rock so hard. Sure the plot is cool, but in that way that it works for a video game, not really so much for a movie.
The story, such as it is, follows the bald, goateed, implausibly ripped dude Kratos
back in ancient Greece who made a desperate deal with Ares
, the God of War, to defeat his enemies. He got some seriously stylin' death-on-a-chain action going and Ares
as the general of his not-very-nice armies. Of course, Greek gods being what they are (complete bastards) all is not as simple as it seems. Ares
to become Death
itself and tricks him into murdering his own family. Kratos
is apparently not a complete
dick, and after realizing what he's done, quits the service of Ares
to wander the Earth like Samuel L Jackson
at the end of Pulp Fiction
and beg forgiveness from the other Gods. Seeing their opportunity to rid the heavens of Ares
, who looks like he probably listens to his music too loudly at night and keeps the other Gods up, Kratos
is manipulated into defending the city of Athens against his former naughty armies and taking on Ares
See? Cool Video-game story, not so sure it would really translate much better than Doom
or Tomb Raider
did into a movie. So I say, let Brett Ratner
have God of War
. Let him continue to dig a hole for his career so big he can't climb back out. I, for one, am pretty much done with the guy. Let him go make costume dramas for Australian public television. He certainly has no place making anything with its own back story.