So, you've seen a really awesome trailer today. You've built up your bad movie anxiety white blood cells...I think perhaps, if you dare, you might be ready to handle...

The full trailer is out, and...well...maybe you better go watch the Iron Man trailer one more time first.

Back?

Ok, take a deep breath and check it out over here.

This looks like crap of the highest order. I do have high hopes for this one though. I hope it will bomb so badly, that it will actually go back and time and take money away from Mike Meyer's other films so that he never gets a hit after Wayne's World.

I can hear you now,

*whiny voice*

"But Cyrus, Austin Powers is good, blah blah blah."

SHUT IT!

and look at this...

*BLAAARRRGGGHHHHH!*

Look at this smarmy jackhole! He wants your money, he knows he's gonna get your money and then you'll be all like, "Waaaahhhh, why didn't I listen to Cyrus?" and burning your signed poster of "So I Married an Axe Murderer".

And also, Whitney the cheerleader from High School who laughed at me when I asked her to the Spring Formal will be seeing how Cyrus is Livin' Large and will show up crying at his doorstep and it will be in no way related to the fact that I have her parents tied up in my basement.

I mean...what? Oh, nothing.

SOURCE: Moviefone